


Fix you

by BadVaal



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dom/sub, Explicit Language, F/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-05-05 20:06:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 55,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadVaal/pseuds/BadVaal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the survivor of the breach appears people are confused. When they find out she is a Tevinter elf slave they get angry. But Cullen steps in determined to protect this woman and give her a chance at different life. (Cullen/AU Inquisitor. Rated M for later chapters and occasional language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

He could barely believe it. Out of all the people who were at the conclave and could have survived the only survivor they found was one woman. And not only that. An elf and most likely slave from Tevinter, judging from her clothing and leather collar around her neck.

Cullen kept starring into the flames of the bonfire while sorting his thoughts.

It has been two days since the breach had appeared and the survivor was still unconscious. The healer spoke to Cassandra at length about her fever and trashing and about some odd mark on the palm of her left hand.

It appeared that whatever the mark was, it was killing her and should that happen their chance for finding out what has happened or even stopping the breach looked more grim than ever.

Former Knight-Captain sighed and stood up. He might as well go and get a look at the survivor. He only saw her from the distance once, when they brought her here and who knows, perhaps Maker will give him some idea how to fix this mess.

They held the prisoner in the holding cells beneath the Chantry. This was the first time he had set foot here and already he hated the place. The damp and cold wind blew through the corridor and only few torches sparsely illuminated the walls.

Suddenly Cullen was rather glad he was not the one being interrogated or held by Cassandra here. As much as he respected the Seeker she had been beyond grief and anger these past two days and Cullen was sure that the prisoner got actually lucky by being knocked out with fever. Who knows how Seeker would have reacted if she could actually talk to the elf.

Cullen made his way forward and nodded in greetings to the two guards at the door. As expected, Solas the apostate mage was inside, doing his best to keep the prisoner alive. Although what exactly did he do was a mystery.

"Good evening." Cullen cleared his throat and half whispered the greetings. For some reason the whole somber atmosphere of underground prison made him feel like whispering was the most appropriate.

"Ah. Evening." The apostate replied in his typical flat tone of voice his eyes only registering Cullen for split second before turning back to the small frame lying on the stone floor.

Cullen looked at the prisoner and with mild anger noticed that she still had the same clothes as when they brought her here two days ago. Stained with dirt and mud and to add to it she was resting on only one blanket, a poor layer to separate her from cold, stone floor.

He will need to talk to Cassandra about this. He understood her anger but this was not helping.

"How is she?" He asked finally, now focusing his gaze on the prisoner's face. She was small, as all elves were. With darker shade of skin which now looked unhealthy ashen at her face and he noticed beads of sweat glistening on her forehead.

Then he noticed the marks. He saw few Dalish elves, there was one clan around Kirkwall for years. But these looked different. Not curved and delicate as he saw on the elves in Free marches but sharp and pointy. And golden.

His eyes followed the intricate design and he noticed it crossed both her cheeks and ran up over the eyes. Even eyelids! Cullen bit his bottom lip. That must have hurt. The lines smoothly disappeared into her raven black hair.

"Her fever lowered but it seems the breach is reacting with the mark on her hand. I am trying to prevent it, though it proves quite difficult. So far." Solas replied after some time.

Cullen nodded and looked at the mark which everyone spoke of. Faint, green light emitted from her palm and just as he was looking a brighter flash sprung up and the prisoner shook in one painful tremor.

"As you can see, her prospect is not good." Solas regarded the trashing of his charge with the same flat voice and proceeded to gently lay his hand in hers.

"I will need to focus if I am to produce any results at all."

Cullen could get a hint when he heard it and with a small huff and a nod turned to leave the room.

This was worse than he had thought. Not only he had no idea what was going on but he was also completely powerless to help in anyway. He hated that. Perhaps it would have been better if he had spent some time at the training dummies. At least he could clear his mind that way.

That was the first time he saw the prisoner.

Second time was one day later. Whatever it was that helped in her treatment worked and he saw her being hurled out of the Chantry by Cassandra. He hands bound with a thick rope, her shoulders slumped and her legs shaking.

Maker's breath they did not even give her time to recover from battling death for three days and already they dragged her towards The Breach.

He could understand the urgency but at the same time he pitied the elf. He got the report. She was indeed an elf slave from Tevinter. Apparently accompanyed her master to the Conclave meeting.

She could not recall anything about what had happened or how she got the mark and apparently agreed to help. Although Cullen had to wonder how much agreement there really was. She had no choice really. If she refused Cassandra would have dragged her to the Breach anyway and Cullen was half sure that due to her social status she would not have dared to refuse anything anyway.

He watched them disappear behind the wooden palisade and after the gate closed muttered quick prayer to Andraste for success and safe return.

And truly enough they did return. Well not in a manner he imagined but when he stood on the palisade and saw The Breach calm his hopes soared higher than he anticipated.

Few hours later Cassandra and others returned. As did the prisoner. She had been unconscious again and they found her a resting place in a small, secluded cabin. He wondered just how much toll can such small woman endure. He also wondered when was the last time she ate or drank.

When Cassandra arrived with the prisoner in her arms, Cullen thought for sure she was dead. Her skin was even paler than before and her frame looked lifeless, or more exhausted as if closing The Breach drained her whole life from her.

Luckily it was not so. The healer assured them she will live, for now. The mark on her hand calmed and she was resting. And Cullen was puzzled. There were million and more things to be done in Haven but all he could think of was her.

He berated himself over and over about this. But he could not help himself. That tiny elf who risked her life to help moved something in him. Sort of like that one time when he was in the training and found out the boys from nearby village were torturing a stray puppy.

He wanted to help her somehow. Or at least to find more about her. Well he can do as much. Cullen was sure that Leliana by now must have at least something worth reading which would cover some background information about this woman. And so he pushed the million and more things to the back of his mind and set out with firm stride to visit her in her tent.

As Cullen read through the sheet of paper Leliana gave him, his frown deepened and he sighed. He had hoped the spymaster might have gathered more information but alas this was all they had.

Born most likely in Minrathous. Sold to her former master, Tavus Atorian, fifteen years ago.

Her master was attending the Conclave as personal guest of one of the higher ranked Circle magis.

Did her master order her to do this? To explode the Conclave and kill everyone? Or was it all just accident which went horribly wrong? And more importantly what were they supposed to do now?

Cullen sighed again and walked slowly towards the cabin where the prisoner rested. He was curious and he also half hoped that perhaps she would be awake and give him some so much needed answers.

* * *

 

Updated: 9.3.2016 (yes indeed this story is not forgotten. I just lost interest in Dragon Age for a while and as such had to pick up my muse again. I will revise rest of the chapters and probably do some changes - not in the plot though - and once done next chapter will be posted ASAP.)


	2. Chapter 2 - with hints and mistakes

_It hurt. Everywhere and everything._ The elven woman who until now layed motionlessly on the bed slowly opened her eyes, the eyelids felt like they suddenly turned into lead and it took all her remaining strength to force them open and to look around.

The bright daylight stabbed at the front of her brain like daggers and added to the countless other hurts she felt at the moment. _And she still had no idea what happened._

A little frown appeared on her face as she tried to collect and summarize events of the past few days. Anything which would give away the reason for why she was here. Laying in the bed and in so much pain.

_The memory of running came fist, then she remembered having hands clasped in irons and..._

She looked down on the left palm of he hand and saw faint flicker of green light which kept lightly emitting from it.

So it was true. Some accident really did happen. _What was next?_ Some woman took her up to the mountain. There was fighting everywhere. Demons. Yes that was it, we fought demons. Well not her but the others, the woman and a dwarf and another elf. And she _could_ help with closing some green lights with her hand.

They ordered her to do it and she obeyed. Without any idea where her Master was the first instinct was to obey these people and perhaps they would leave her be.

 _Yes. Obey and follow was safe._ No one usually lashed out at her or beat her if she was good and obedient.

One look around the place told the still confused elf that she was alone in a small wooden cabin. The sun streamed in through the windows and pleasantly engulfed the wooden furniture in its golden glow. It was comfortable. _Good. Perhaps they were pleased with her service?_ She certainly hoped so.

The elf shifted a bit on the bed and realized that not only her whole body was aflame with various pains but the worst of them all was the churring pit of her stomach.  _She had only experienced this pain and hunger once_. When she was punished and locked up and Master's wife forgot to feed her for almost a week.

_Was that what was happening again? Was she forgotten and doomed to starve once more?_

Her eyes scanned the cabin again. This place looked too comfortable for a holding cell. And then her hazy mind slowly realized that she was dressed in clean clothes too. _Quite loose, must have been made for a human,_ she mused. Yet the soft fabric gently snugged around her form and warmed her up.

At least she was not cold anymore. That was one thing she could remember clearly, being cold when they ascended the mountain with that peculiar little group, to perform some task which seemed important but utterly incomprehensible to her.

But what was she supposed to do now? Sit and wait? No one gave her any permission to leave after all.

 _Yes. Sit and wait. That was safe. Obedient and safe._ She knew that when no orders were given it was only a matter of time before someone will give her some. _Waiting was safe._

Meanwhile the sun dropped low and the cabin burst aflame with the orange blaze of the evening. She had no idea how long she had sat there and waited. _Hours most likely._ It was a lesson learned early, how to pass the time while waiting, how to focus mind on other things rather than present.

 _It helped_. When she could will herself out of her body and "dream" while being awake. That helped so often before. The elven woman was now following the slowly moving ray of golden light on the wooden walls with her large green eyes and her mind conjured vivid images of landscapes she had never seen before and events which had never happened.

 _Yes. Master had always said that she had wild imagination._ Or perhaps she started hallucinating from the hunger. _It has happened before_. She always suspected it was Maker's blessing. To ease the pain from starving by granting lucid dreams or perhaps her body just knew how to deal with this sort of thing _._ Either way she was glad for the distraction now. Anything was better than to focus on the aches in her body and stomach.

Then the voices interrupted her thoughts. First as if through water but they grew clearer and louder.

"Commander. We still have no idea what to expect from her. And she is still unconscious. We just have to wait."

That was the woman from before. She recognized the voice in an instant. Commanding. Hard. Heavy with foreign accent. The sort of voice which tugged at her mind and commanded her to obey every order. She liked that voice. If a person could instill obedience just with the voice they usually made better masters than those who were weak and spiteful about it.

"And how long do you wish to wait Cassandra. It has been days. At this rate we will lose her and with her all the hope for answers or help."

The other person was clearly a man. He sounded like everyone else in the south. Slightly melodic but crude. She liked that. Lots of people in the south sounded honest and she liked to think they were.

But they were most likely arguing about her. _The woman, Cassandra was her name?_ Thought that she was still unconscious. Should she go out and tell them? No orders were given but she was also so hungry. Perhaps a small peak through the window. If she could see their faces she might have better idea about what to expect.

It was at that moment when she realized just how weak her body has become. And yet the elf managed to push herself on all four and crossed the bed towards the window. Outside she could see Cassandra's firm back clad in metal armor, the back of her heard slightly lowered but the tension in her shoulders spoke volumes about the disapproval which was immediately confirmed by the tone of her voice: 

"I am aware of such Cullen but what do you want me to do? I cannot command her to wake up and the healers are at their wits ends too."

 _So the man was called Cullen_. The elf stored the name into her memory for later. Another thing which life in Minrathous had taught her the hard way, was to remember all the names she could. _There was nothing worse than to be addressed by someone for service and not know their name and proper rank to respond._

She leaned forward a bit more. Wanted to see this man. Wanted to know how angry his face was. Or maybe was not.

And their eyes met. It took her only short moment to realize that his eyes were the color of melted honey before their gaze was interrupted as the elf realized he saw her in the window and hastily she slid down the bed and on the floor to curl up in trained kneeling position, forehead against the hard wood on the ground her heart pounded like scared bird against her rib cage.

 _This was bad. She looked him in the eyes._ She was never to look into the eyes. That was considered a challenge but she was not challenging anyone, just wanted to serve. Obey and perhaps eat.

 _First the door creaked and then the sound heavy boots walking over the wooden floor._ The elf pressed her head even more against the wood in vain hope that she could perhaps will herself to look smaller or invisible.

"Cullen, what did you do?" Cassandra asked and the elf on the floor flinched slightly still unsure about what to expect from the two of them.

"Nothing. I saw her in the window and when I looked at her she just...well." Cullen paused clearly lost at words. "What are we going to do with her Cassandra?"

"I am not sure. What is your name?"

 _There it was. Finally a question she could answer._ It was something. She dared no to look up, was not ordered or permitted to do so after all and so she only spoke towards the wooden floor under her nose.

"Master called me Third." But her Master was dead. She knew that now and felt sudden urge to elaborate on her name. "But I will respond to any name you will find fitting for me. Madam." _Yes. That was good._ She had to stay polite and obedient. _No mistakes_. She did not know these people and did not want more pain should she break some rules.

"Can you stand up?" Cullen finally asked in rather warm tone of the voice. There it was again, that ferelden honest-like accent which she liked that much.

"Yes Sir."

_Simple answers. No questions. She will just obey and try to find out more in due time._

Finally she persuaded her shaking legs to cooperate and stood up with head low and thankfully her hair kept her face hidden from them. With all her remaining courage Third dared to lift her gaze up to glance briefly at the two people who stood before her. Cullen's eyes looked at her from head to toes and for some reason she was reminded of her ill fitting clothes and flood of worries and questions suddenly roared through her mind. _What if these people hate elves. Would they sell her to someone else? Or throw her out? If so, where would she go?_

But her train of throughts was interrupted when Cullen's eyes lingered and then stopped to look at her face and something reflected in them. He looked less displeased but still towered in a slightly menacing way above her and even the warrior woman at his left. A sudden string of commands from her past surfaced to her mind: _remember to hunch the shoulders slightly, turn palms of your hands outward to show them no resistance or threat._ She could only pray that they would recognize the gesture, after all she had no idea about customs in the South. 

"Sit down. How are you feeling?" Cassandra interrupted the long silence with her thick voice and meassured the elf with one hard look of her dark eyes. This apparently caught the slave girl off guard. She fidgeted slightly as she stood there a look of confusion written all over her face. It was clear that whatever the life was for this elf, she was not used to people treating her "nicely". And with a small sigh Cassandra repeated her previous words: "Sit down, please."

And she did. But still the look of someone who cannot comprehend their situation remained clearly written all over that tattooed face and Cassandra noticed that the elf would keep her eyes firmly on the ground even now. No matter how this turns out they had their work cut out for them if they wanted to make this girl useful or perhaps at least a little bit less afraid. 

"Cassandra, how about I pick it up from here. There is no need for both of us to be here after all and I am sure that Sister Lelliana would like your report on the situation." Cullen layed his hand lightly on Cassanda's shoulder and the Seeker only nodded before her heavy metal boots crossed the cabin to the door with loud steps. "Very well. She is no longer our prisoner after all. I will be in the council room." Cassandra closed the door behind her and the room returned to the previous heavy silence. 

"I feel alright Sir." The girl on the bed finally answered the previous question and Cullen had to wonder for a moment if she had spent that whole time in thoughts about such a simple thing. "You must be hungry." He tried to break the ice again. "Come, we will find something for you and then perhaps we can talk."

"Thank you." Was all she said. Cullen watched her slowly get up from the bed and immediately noticed the ill fitting clothes, fabric too thin for the icy wind of the night outside. Without even a second thought he unclasped the heavy fur cloak from his shoulders and tightly drew it around her small frame. _At least she did not flinch at that._ "There. It is quite chilly outside." Cullen added politely and gave her, what he had hoped was, an encouraging smile. 

Third was not sure what to expect but the prospect of getting food proved too tempting to give much space to any other thought. Her hand reluctantly drew the cloak tighter around her shoulders. The fabric under-lining the large and furry pelt felt rough under her fingers and it smelled of him. A heavy scent of embrium and some foreign spices.

They walked together through Haven. Thankfully his presence kept townsfolk from crowding them. Third noticed the dwarf which accompanied them before he gave them a cheeful nod and then threw one questioning look at Cullen. The other elf was also present, he seemed occupied with something at the other side of a large roaring camp fire. He glanced at them with unreadable expression before he walked off into the darkness of the night.

All the while they walked Third wondered about what had really happened. The memories slowly reappeared. She recalled being brought on top of the mountain, hands bound. It was Cassandra who escorted her. The dark haired warrior fought demons and protected her on the way until they met with the two others and group of soldiers.

The most vivid memory Third had was the freezing cold and how tired she felt. The elven woman frowned slightly as memory of the Temple where the Conclave had been held resurfaced. That place was horrible. She recalled the smell of sulfur and brim and the sight of burned bodies their faces turned to the sky with frozen horror and screams etched into them.

There was that green light again. And loud voices echoed through her head. At last Third remembered the other elf. He grasped her hand and pointed it at the green light. Her palm and the green light connected in a sizzling, green jet and she probably fainted afterwards as there was nothing else her mind recalled about the whole ordeal.

"Wait here. I will be right back with some food." Cullen disappeared inside the local inn and the door clicked shut behind him.

Third positioned herself next to the door, out of anyone's way and tiredly rested her back against the wooden wall of the building. She felt so lost and confused. The village looked familiar, _of course it would_ , she woke up in here the first time after the explosion. But Third had no idea who all these soldiers were and her mind itched for answers but she berated herself over and over for being too curious.

Being curious was not a good trait in any slave. And she has been properly taught and prepared. _She will not make mistakes._

It was sudden and it took her a split moment to realize. Someone threw stone at her and her head suddenly exploded into million bright lights and pain stabbed through her right temple. Third's knees acted on a trained reflex and she fell down on them into the snow and bowed her head.

 _She learned throughout the years that this was the best retort to violence. Servility was the best defense. It usually took the fire from the angry people_.

"Look at her. Told you she would kneel. They all do. Tevinter scum and their playthings." A young boy shouted with glee somewhere to the right from her.

"Throw another one Jess." A girl's voice replied to her friend and Third felt another jolt of pain spark from her shoulder as another stone hit her.

_Keep down. Don't move. Bow head more. They will leave. They always do. When they have their fun._

She kept repeating this to herself like mantra. After all, it had gotten her through worse situations.

Living at her Master's home for years she had learned that there were not many things to worry about. Pain was temporary. Off course she prefered not to be in pain or die but those things were not in her power.

Same as she had learned to accept and block out shame, humiliation, anger or sadness. All these things were temporary and she learned to accept and to dismiss them all.

 _Same as these children. They will leave. They will get bored and leave he be_.

"She doesn't even fight back. Freaking knife-ear." The girl shouted with another throw. Third pressed her eyes shut tighter. It hurt, but it was not the worst she had ever endured. She could deal with this.

"Told you she wouldn't. You can do anything you want with them. They just do it."

_The boy was right. She was a good slave after all._

Her knees began to ache from kneeling on the frozen ground and her shoulder and head hurt in dull ache from the impact and Third focused her mind away again.

She remembered the sun today. Wondered where it was shining now when the night engulfed this little town. _Was it at some ruins or grasslands? What kinds of people lived there?_

She kept my mind firmly on the images of long and wide grasslands, tattering with the wind, bluest skies above. Third saw such paining once. The mental image was so clear that she almost failed to notice that someone was shaking her shoulder.

"Hey! What's wrong?"

It was Cullen again. Third felt her body flinch on its own slightly in surprise. _Right the kids must have left her some time ago. Did she fall asleep here in the snow?_

"Oi, can you stand?" Cullen sounded quite worried and when she raised her head she could see him close to her, his eyes warm and a small encouraging smile tugged at his lips.

"I am sorry sir."

Cullen only sighed and drew the elven woman up to her feet. His hand lingering on her shoulder for a moment before he started to walk away. "Lets go. We can eat inside the chantry. It should be quiet in there." He gestured towards the large stone building which sat atop the little hill and overlooked the town.

Third remembered it. It was there where she woke up the first time. They walked and she could feel the sickening warmth spread over her right temple. _The stone must have hit her harder than she had though._ The elf looked around and grasped a handful of snow while still following Cullen, three steps behind him. She had a good eye for distances and knew how to measure her pace to stay in her place. Third smiled a bit. _She did good so far._ She pressed the cold snow to her head with the faintest of sighs. _It helped. With any luck her blood wouldn't stain Cullen's cloak. She really hoped it didn't._

A change in temperature brought her from her brooding and Third looked around the dimly lit hall of the chantry. The place had that typical fragrance around it. Candles, dust and stone mixed with fragrance of old books, dried flowers and incense which burned in the stone basins held by mute statues in the shaded corners.

"There we are. Sit down please." Cullen gestured to the table with two chairs and promptly unwrapped the dinner they gave him in the inn. Ram stew, bread, cheese and few slices of ham. The scent felt more divine than anything and Third's empty stomach answered with embarrassing low growl. She felt his eyes on her and to mask her slip in discipline the elf unwrapped his cloak from her shoulders and methodically folded it and layed it on the bed. She then proceeded to sit down.

Third willed herself to tear the gaze from the plates and she looked over at Cullen. He still stood there and watched her with unreadable expression but finally that same half smile appeared on his face as he nodded towards her: "Please, eat. It is all for you. I will bring you warm tea in a moment."

"Thank you sir." Third replied with a polite nod and willed her voice to sound flat and not too eager.

"Now what was it that you said your name was again?" Cullen asked from across the room and his hands fumbled with cups and kettle near small stove in one of the alcoves.

"My previous Master called me Third. But you can choose another name should it please you,sir."

At that statement Cullen turn around and gave her that odd unreadable look again before he let out a small sigh as he continued. "Do you prefer any names?"

Third was just holding a small piece of bread in her left hand but stopped all her motion when she heard Cullen's question. His eyes smiled at her in a gentle gaze and with a small sigh the ex-templar nodded and continued: "Actually, never mind. Eat first. We will talk after." He smiled again and sat down with the cups and pushed one of them across the table to her.

Third nodded and turned her whole attention back to the food. The stew tasted delicious. It was thick with large chunks of meat and root vegetable and it warmed her whole body as she slowly savored each spoonful. For some reason it reminded her of her childhood. This moment brought one of those few memories she still had of her home. Third was certain that her mother used to cook for her when she was very young but all she could remember were long black hair and soft voice telling her something she couldn't comprehend or remember anymore.

Finally Third looked up only to find Cullen rest his elbows against the table, one clay cup with tea lightly held between his long fingers and he watched her with thoughtful expression. But he seemed relaxed and in good mood. That gave her hope for good things to come. Third almost smirked. Even now she remained forever optimistic. A trait which often brought mockery from others around her.

She finished the meal and was about to start gathering the dishes. "Leave it. We will talk now." Cullen's low voice rumbled through the room and Third sat back down with hands in her lap ready to listen to whatever he wanted to talk about.

"Sit here. It is more comfortable." Cullen pointed at the nearby couch and she obediently took the seat and he followed suit next to her.

"Well...I really don't know how to start this. Lets hmm start with that name. How do you wish to be called?"

"Anything you prefer sir, is good."

Cullen sighed silently and scratched the back of his neck with one hand, a gesture of habit when he was nervous, most likely. Third mused but returned her gaze to the stone floor in order to avoid looking him in the eyes again. 

"Surely you must have heard some names you liked before. Why don't you tell me some of them?" It was that smile of his which prompted her to speak. And Third nodded and started reciting a list of names. She could remember quite many of them from her days with her Master. Not that it really mattered to her how she was called. Names held little meaning to her. It was after all only a way how to call on her and tell her what to do.

"You like all these?"

"My Master used them often. He liked them."

Cullen cursed silently and shifted in his seat and it was visible now that for some reason he was getting frustrated with her. Third's mind worked overtime for a moment to try and determine what was it that she was doing wrong.

"Very well. I am not probably your best choice at picking names but I have met a Dalish woman once. She was called Ellena. Is that a name you might like?

Third nodded with a smile. She really wanted him to be at ease. "Thank you, I like that name master." She thought that him picking her new name had sealed the deal. He was her new master now. And she was quite happy for it. Cullen seemed like a good man. But she must have been wrong. Again. As he flinched at her words and his eyes grew darker and his face more stern.

"Please. Do not call me that."

"How would you like me to call you?" Ellena felt confused. Indeed nothing in this place made any sense to her so far.

"Cullen will do." He replied finally. "So Ellena. Lets discuss what happened." Cullen continued hastily while he rose up, crossed the room and picked the other clay cup and then gently pressed it into her hands.

And so they have talked. For hours apparently. The candles in the room slowly dripped wax and grew shorter and shorter while the shadows on the walls danced around them larger and larger.

They've talked about the Breach, the Conclave. Her mark. The mission. The inquisition. As far as Ellena understood the Inquisition tried to close the Breach and needed a help from the Templars. Cullen also stressed over and over how important her mark was and that she was the only one who could seal what they called Fade Rifts and ultimately the Breach itself.

Ellena felt her stomach turn into a cold pit of fear with each word Cullen spoke. This sounded so utterly impossible and ridiculous. And the sudden weight of being responsible for so many lives was pressing on her lungs like a stone. In her whole life she has never been responsible for anything more than her master's household and guests. _Just how was she supposed to help the Inquisition and stop this madness?_

"Do not worry. Cassandra, Leliana and I will take care of things. We will only need you to ride with us to close the rifts. Everything else will be taken care of. I promise we will not let anything happen to you."

Cullen must have felt her utter despair at the situation because his voice turned to more gentle and reassuring and he cautiously placed his strong arm around her shoulders. Ellena let out a silent breath of dread and relief. This man had presence around him which made her feel safe. She really liked that feeling.

"I must admit, this is all quite new for all of us Ellena. You just might be the first person from Tevinter some of us have ever met. I mean..." Cullen brought his hand to his neck again and rubbed his fingers there nervously. "I just hope we can figure this thing out for the benefit of us all." A silence had spread over the room and Ellena watched the shadows dance around the walls as she let her mind slowly adjust to the new information and prospects.

"What is this?" Cullen's voice broke the silent moment and he gently took hold of Ellena's chin and turned her right cheek to him and very gently touched the dried up wound on her temple.

"It is nothing, Cullen. Some children threw rocks at me while I was waiting outside the inn. But I am not damaged. It will heal." Ellena watched his face pale and turn into an angry mask and her fear had returned.

"Did you see them?" Cullen asked in a low and dangerous voice while her kept her chin locked between his fingers.

"No...I am sorry." Ellena felt terrified. This same man who felt so reassuring a moment ago now looked like a thundercloud ready to launch at anyone nearby.

"Let me see this. I swear to Maker..." Ellena heard him hiss something under his breath as his fingers gently peeled off the hair from the wound and he leaned closer to inspect it. His breath trickled her on her neck and she closed her eyes. Ellena enjoyed the attention she was getting. This man who so easily scared her somehow managed to make her feel so comfortable. Both at the same time.

"It is not a big wound. It looks worse than it is, head always seems to bleed too much, even if it is just a scratch." Cullen let go of her chin and with one smooth motion wrapped his arms around her and drew her into a tight and comforting hug. "Ellena. Listen to me. If anyone harms you. You have to tell me. That is...an order. Do you understand?" She nodded and her voice sounded muffled as she spoke into his chest. "Yes, I will."

"What are you thinking about?" Ellena could feel his voice rumble in his chest and shifted slightly. Only few inches but her muscles were still tensed and she found it increasingly hard to relax in Cullen's arms. As she moved, her cheek brushed against his and the stubble on his chin tickled her ear.

 _What was she thinking about? A good question._ Ellena felt the mood was right and she understood the signals when she got them. So she looked up and answered simply, this time sure that her answer was correct. "I can do whatever you would like, Cullen. Do you have any preference?"

"Wh..what?" Cullen stuttered and quickly pulled away from her. His face turned redder and his eyes were surprised to say the least. "That's not..." He looked down on her, his face now stern again as he stood up. "We will not discuss this. It is out of question."

Ellena only nodded and felt surge of emotion rush through her. The most prominent was shame at failing again.

"You will sleep here tonight. I will not risk someone else throwing stones at you. I will have our Ambassador get you some better clothes. You are free to use anything in this room and to walk the halls but keep inside the chantry. He looked around the room and then back at her still reserved in his expression as he nodded his goodbye. "Good night Ellena."

Ellena followed him with her eyes as he left the room and closed the door shut, perhaps with too much force. He was so angry and she had not the slightest idea why. She kept sitting on the couch for a while before she moved to the bed and found his cloak still folded there.

Out of some mad corner of her mind Ellena took hold of the coarse fabric and buried her face into it as she fell on the bed. Utterly spent with events of the day. Before she felt her mind slip into the dreamless sleep she vowed to herself that she would fix this. Somehow. She desperately wanted Cullen to be pleased with her.

* * *

Updated: 9.3.2016


	3. Chapter three - with rifts and gifts

It was sunny morning when the Inquisition Council gathered in the war room. All present had somber faces and uncertainly gazed at the map of Ferelden and Orlais spread over the large wooden table in front of them.

"Well then, I will start." Leliana announced offhandedly and a small smile appeared on her delicate face. "We have reports of rifts spreading over the whole region of Hinterlands. More over we have received word from local horse master that he is willing to supply Inquisition with his horses if we manage to secure the area and clear the roads." The spymaster looked over to others with a small nod, waiting for their reactions.

"I will take care of that." Cullen replied, his eyes focused on the spot on the map marked Hinterlands and he pushed a wooden marker with sword on top of it. "I can take small group, evaluate the situation and secure the best spots for our workers to build the watchtowers to help secure the roads."

Leliana nodded happily and continued. "Very well. I have also received some disturbing news. It appears the Grey Wardens have simply vanished. I am not certain what cause might be behind this but I have received information that one of them, going under the name Blackwall has been seen in Hinterlands, near the mountain lake area. I would suggest that we take it as one of our goals to track him down and try to obtain some information. It might be nothing but I would rather be sure."

Cassandra frowned then looked up from the map and gazed at her colleagues. "I would then suggest we combine these efforts into one. Commander, Varric, Solas and I can head out and secure the watchtowers, deal with the unrest on the roads and if we are lucky, we will find this Blackwall."

"What about the rifts?" Leliana added and her face grew somewhat displeased. "We cannot leave them be, when we have means to close them."

"You want to drag Ellena to Hinterlands? The area is hardly secured." Cullen protested his honey coloured eyes burring into Leliana's lightly green orbs.

"Well she has the mark, no? What other use do we have for her than to have her close the rifts."

"I suppose we can take her along, among all of us, she will be safe."Cassandra hastily stepped in to prevent any argument.

"Fine...I'll talk with her then." Cullen sighed in resignation but threw Leliana one dark look. "Anything else?"

"Well while you are there, my scouts have reported that a chantry cleric, Mother Giselle wishes to speak with us. She seems to have contacts in Val Royeaux and might prove useful in acquiring help for the Inquisition." Leliana finished her speech and closed the folder with various papers she had been holding the whole time.

"Very well. Lets get this wrapped up then." Cassandra nodded and with firm stride exited the room.

* * *

Later that day Cullen found himself sitting in his makeshift office and his head throbbed with questions and worries. He had not spoken to Ellena at all since he wished her good night two days ago, though he made it his habit to keep an eye on her while he trained the new recruits and tended to his other duties.

He still felt completely at the loss at what to do about her. She kept to the chantry as advised and Cullen noticed she busied herself with reading. Maker he was glad for whoever taught her how to read.

Josephine made a fuss about Ellena's clothes the first time Cullen mentioned if she could find some better fitting attire for the small elf woman. It seemed that their ambassador enjoyed spending her free time in daydreaming about what nonsense to put on Ellena and Cullen had rather unwelcomed feeling that the Antivan saw this as an opportunity to "decorate" her new plaything.

But to his relief, Ellena emerged from ambassador's office yesterday, dressed in lovely lavender dress. The dress was simple and it suited her. Cullen let out a sigh of dread as he caught himself again thinking about this topic. Ellena in that dress haunted his dreams ever since.

Well time was merciless and so the Commander of the Inquisition stood up and with fast stride exited the chantry to look for the elf in question.

* * *

"Josephine, do you have a moment?" Leliana smiled at her friend as she opened the door to ambassador's office and without waiting for the answer proceeded to sit in the chair in front of the desk.

"Well I suppose I can spare few minutes. I should take a break from writing this letter anyway.. How can I help?" Josephine Montilyet smiled and pushed aside few papers.

"It is about the Tevinter elf. I noticed you have spent some time with her?" Leliana turned her gaze towards the ambassador while idly drumming with her slim fingers against the table.

"Indeed. Commander asked me to get her some proper dress and to request for new travel gear. Is there some problem?" The Antivan asked rather quickly. Over the years she had gotten quite accustomed to Leliana and it was easy to notice that something was bothering the Inquisition's spymaster.

"I do not trust her. I've sent out all my sources and contacted everyone I could think of but I just cannot find anything about her. I only found rather extensive report on her master but it still does not explain why was she even with him at the Conclave and how she got that mark. I mean, out of all the people in there it is some unimportant slave who survives with the mark which can close the Rifts? Coincidence? I think not."

"You think she could be a spy or work with whoever destroyed the Conclave and murdered the Divine?" Josephine took in sharp breath of surprise but her eyes stayed locked on her friend.

"Possibly. Or her master was up to something and it backfired. Either way I think we should be more careful with her. But it seems that our Commander rather favors her, no? In my opinion we should just keep her locked up and only use her for closing the rifts. But he leaves her free to roam around this place." Leliana sighed in frustration.

"Did you talk about this with Cassandra?" Josephine reached across the table and gently placed her hand over Leliana's in reassuring gesture. "Perhaps she can find something out. After all Seekers are known to be able to...well get to the truth of things, so to speak. And Commander doesn't have to know about it."

"Hmm I will consider it. Thank you for listening to me Josie. I will see what I can arrange while they are all away in Hinterlands." Leliana stood up from the chair her face again the pristine and unreadable mask.

"Oh I almost forgot. I have received a latter from Madame Vivienne de Fer, the First Enchanter of Queen Celene's court. She expressed her wish to join in our cause."

"Really? I will look into it, thank you Josie." Leliana smiled and briskly walked out of the small room.

"Better and better." The spymaster mumbled under her breath. Vivienne might be just the right person they needed here. The woman was known for two things. Her extensive connections throughout Orlesian court and her ruthlessness when it came down to get the job done. She was certainly someone Leliana imagined could tip the power balance here.

* * *

The group had set out of Haven shortly after midday, mounted on horses the journey was expected to be the short one. Ellena felt still rather uncomfortable in her new clothes, the soft leather of her travel attire was yet to adjust and her trousers and vest felt stiff and tight around her body.

Luckily the horse Cullen had picked for her turned out to be old and wise mare. The animal appeared to have seen her share of trecks and she obediently followed others, her thoughts far away from being skittish or hostile. At least Ellena kept her hopes up for that.

"Alright everyone. Cassandra you take point. I'll stay behind. I want Varric and Solas on the sides and Ellena in the center. If anyone spots something out of ordinary or dangerous, let us know. We don't want any accidents." Cullen shouted out from behind and Ellena proceeded to nudge her horse into a faster walk to obediently take her place in the center of the formation.

She noticed the dwarf on the right side and he flashed the elf a friendly smile. "So, maybe now we can get to the introductions." He said in cheerful voice. "Varric Tethras. Business man, writer and occasional tag along." Varric winked at her. "And this is Bianca." He patted rather oddly looking crossbow strapped over his back.

Ellena nodded in response "I am Ellena." she replied simply. There was not much else to say after all even though she was curious about the dwarf. Ellena remembered him from their treck to the Breach and from his banters with Cassandra but he seemed as a rather odd fellow to work with the Inquisition.

"You don't talk much kid, eh?" He smiled again before continuing "That's alright. I can talk enough for both of us."

"That is true." The elf who just appeared at Ellena's left suddenly joined in the little conversation. "My name is Solas. I am pleased to see you have recovered from your experience with the breach."

"He means he kept that thing on your hand from killing you." Varric remarked with a glance at Solas.

"Thank you." Ellena replied with a polite bow of her head. She had seen him only few times, walk outside the Chantry. Every time he only glanced at her before he scoffed off to some other things which needed his attention.

"I understand you come from Tevinter Imperium?" Solas continued after a moment. And looked at the other elf with penetrating gaze of his narrow, lightly blue eyes.

"Yes. I have served at master Atorian's household." Ellena paused and thought for a moment. "Are you also a slave?" she asked finally. It was a question she wanted to ask from the start as she had hoped that perhaps she could find someone in similar situation. Someone who could help her understand this odd place and its people.

But Solas only huffed in displeasure then and averted his gaze. "I am no one's slave, same as I presume you are currently without any master and free yourself." He remarked and Ellena lowered her head. He had just spoken the truth that has been haunting her since she woke up in Haven.

Ellena realized that Cullen refused to be her master and no one else made anything clear to her on that matter. But she was never free before, had no idea what it meant and it terrified her. She missed that simple life when someone would give orders to her and she could just obey. To know her place, duty and her purpose. _What else could one possibly want from life?_

"Hey, no need to stress it kid. I am sure that things will turn around in time." Varric nudged the elf woman lightly in friendly gesture to her arm and silence fell between three of them again.

Ellena's focus was on the countryside for a while. The jagged and snowy peaks soon gave way to dense forests of pines and spruces and the air became warmer and smelled of rain and mountain meadows. She sighed slightly. This country was so different to her homeland. The contrast made her even more aware of the situation and Ellena felt miserable. It had seemed that all hallmarks of her life disappeared and she hated this uncertainty.

It was at that moment of self pity when a sudden, stabbing pain shot through her left palm and the mark flashed in angry green jet. Ellena cried out in pain and almost fell from the saddle but none of her companions payed any attention to it. Cullen and Cassandra were already galloping ahead and as the elf woman turned her head she saw Varric getting hold of Bianca his expression somber and focused.

"Stay here kid. We will deal with the demons, then you can close the rift." and with those words he too galloped forward.

It seemed as if her mind was working in slow motion. Solas too joined the battle and Ellena saw Cullen and Cassandra engaged in furious fight with the shades. The demons were spilling from a brilliantly glowing, green tear in the reality. She could see the sickly looking landscape of Fade through it, as if looking through a warped window. Ellena felt her blood rush to her head as fear gripped around her heart. Then a terrible shriek cut through the forest. It was blood freezing cry of utter fear and despair. She pressed the palms of her hands against her ears in vain attempt to try and block it.

But the sound seemed to come from her own brain. The fear was overwhelming. Ellena saw Cassandra rip her sword from one of the shades, the form disintegrated and disappeared into the rift. Finally the elf noticed the source of the screams. A large creature, hunched and on sickly long legs with same long arms and tail was clawing at Cullen. Ellena saw the demon suddenly disappear under the ground then jump up right on top of their Commander in one fluid blur of speed.

That display triggered something in the former slave girl. Ellena jumped from her horse and dashed forward, her mark throbbed with the green light, sending waves of pain through her whole arm but she did not care. All she cared about was to get to Cullen and destroy that demon.

With palm aimed at the creature and without knowing what exactly to do, it seemed the mark followed her subconsciousness. A jet of light shot forward, right into the demon and it disappeared like the others, only its last shriek remained. On some hidden impulse Ellena then aimed her hand at the rift. The mark connected with it and she willed with all her mind for it to close. To disappear forever.

Her mind felt heavy and an awful song echoed through her whole being. Ellena felt her teeth cringe and a cold sweat on the forehead but she kept her hand steady and then when the melody reached its awful peak the elf jerked her hand sideways and the rift vanished in thin air. Silence fell on the forest and on the little group as her knees buckled under her and Ellena slowly fell on them into the moss. She felt utterly spent.

"Ellena!" Cullen's voice called to her through the fog in her head and Ellena slowly turned her head to see his face close to her own. He grasped her shoulders lightly, his face worried but he was smiling.

"How did you do that?" Cassandra joined with the rest of them, her voice lightly shaken.

"I do not know. I just, wanted that thing gone. The demon I mean." Ellena replied probably as confused as her.

"Well as long as you can do it again kid, I think we will be all fine." Varric grinned at the still stuned elf and she smiled back. Her heart soared. At last she did something right.

"Well done." Was all that Solas had said before he slowly returned for his horse, his face a mystery again.

Ellena felt Cullen's hands slide slowly down from her shoulders as he helped her on her feet. "Thank you." She saw his smile, it was not the half smile as before, this time it was a genuine happy grin and Ellena felt her heart skip a beat. "I am happy to serve." The elf bowed her head, still overwhelmed with what had happened.

The group collected their horses and set out again. Their treck to Crossroads had passed without further events and they arrived with the evening sun pleasantly warming their backs. Everyone immediately turned to business. They talked with the locals, listened to requests and offered help and Cassandra talked with the chantry mother who was apparently one of the main reasons why they were here.

Ellena was left to her own devices once more and so she sat down on stone steps in the center of the village and watched everyone rush and go, back and forth. She had time to think and she had a lot to think about. No one commented on what has happened earlier and from their reactions she concluded that they were not angry at her independent action. Cullen looked pleased. That thought warmed her heart and Ellena rested her chin on her knees with a small smile. Perhaps she could be useful after all. If it meant destroying demons then so be it. She desperately wanted some duty to perform. Anything which would set her again into her place and gave her something to work with. A hand softly squeezed her shoulder and Ellena turned and raised her head to look at Cullen who slowly sat down beside her with that same smile.

"I wanted to thank you again. I saw your face when you closed that rift. Did it hurt?" His voice sounded gentle and full of genuine concern. It surprised her for a moment but then she remembered the words they shared in Haven. It really did seem that this man cared for her well being. _And without an ulterior motive._

_It felt odd but she couldn't help herself. She liked it._

"It felt odd and left me slightly tired, but it was nothing unbearable." Ellena finally replied and focused her attention at the palm of her left hand. Right now when the mark was not flaring it looked like always. No one would have guessed that something unnatural was hidden under her skin.

"We will set out in few moments." Cullen continued before he reached into his pocket. "I...this might be foolish but there is something I wish for you to have." He gently took hold of her hand and placed a silver coin in it. "My brother gave this to me. For luck. And I think that right now, you can use all the luck you can get." The commander smiled at the slightly surprised elf next to him and gently forced her fingers to wrap around the coin.

"Thank you...I...I will make sure to keep it safe. I promise." Ellena replied and felt a smile spread over her own lips. _And she certainly ment her words._ Cullen patted her on the back in a friendly manner before he stood up. "Lets get our horses. I am sure that Cassandra is waiting for us by now."

Ellena nodded and followed Cullen and meanwhile securely stored his gift in the small pocket at the inside of her leather tunic. She promised herself that she would find some safer way how to keep it, once they returned to Haven. And surprisingly the former slave felt her heart soar higher than ever. This day turned out better than she could have ever expected.

* * *

Updated: 9.3.2016


	4. with hopes and let downs

Cullen let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. He was finally done with paperwork for today. The watchtowers have been built. Roads secured. They had sealed several rifts...and Cullen had to smile when he remembered how great work Ellena did.

Then there was Blackwall. The grey warden knew nothing of disappearances of his colleagues but offered to help the Inquisition personally. A nice gesture Cullen thought but there was still something about that man which made his skin crawl. Well perhaps it was the whole blight thing, after all not many people felt comfortable around The Wardens.The ex-templar stood up slowly and stretched his back which had gone rigid from long hours of hunching over the desk.

"At least things have started to move forward." He said to his empty room and again checked with his eyes his attire all prepared for tomorrow. Yes everything seemed in order for their trip to Val Royeaux to meet with the Chantry mother they've got recommended and hopefully they would also be able to pick up First Enchanter Vivienne.

After some arguing in the war room the council finally decided that it would be for the best to send whole strong party. More people might show off that the Inquisition is a serious business. Leliana will lead as she is best aquatinted with Val Royeaux. Cassandra and he will take care of safety and Varric, Solas, Blackwall and Ellena will be there just to make the entourage look bigger and more persuasive.

All in all Cullen felt quite happy about the trip. He couldn't care less about politics but he was looking forward to spend some time with Ellena in different environment than Haven. The ex-templar let out a small sigh. Yes, he accepted the fact that he had been eyeing Ellena more than he should have. He cared for her and every day his feelings grew stronger.

But off course being a professional he would not let anyone know. Over the years as a templar he saw how bad fraternization among soldiers ended up and he was adamant in not letting that happen here. Or at least he will try. And Cullen felt his will falter again. He will care, he will make sure she is safe and alright but he will not cross that line from friendship to anything more. Besides, she would not want him anyway. Ellena was beautiful woman and Cullen was sure that in time, when she learns how to deal with her new freedom and life she would find someone more suited for her.

"She is also an elf." Cullen growled at himself in frustration. That was another thing to consider. In all his years he had never considered elves as object of his desires. Yes some of the elven women were pretty but he had always sought out company of humans.

But watching Ellena made his blood boil. The elegant way in which she moved around when she was not aware someone was watching her. Her voice, so melodic and heavy with exotic Tevinter accent. He swore he could listen to that voice for hours. Her deeply green eyes shining like two emeralds and in stark contrast with her lightly bronze skin and long black hair. And lastly her marks. The golden tattoos which decorated her face and neck left Cullen often sleepless with his mind running wild as he battled with himself trying to stop his mind from imagining if the intricate design covered her whole body.

Commander of the Inquisition shook his head finally and on brisk feet headed out of the chantry building and out. He needed cold night air to banish such thoughts from his mind. _Or perhaps a cold bath..or both._

* * *

"It is a nice night." Ellena could hear Cullen's voice suddenly behind her which almost made her jump out of her skin. "I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you." The Commander apologized and the still slightly surprised elf before him noticed his eyes darted here and there as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. _Probably a habit when he is nervous_ , Ellena thought fondly.

"No...I just...did not expect anyone here at this hour." She managed to say and tried to command her voice, although with each passing day it has proven more and more difficult in Cullen's presence. Ellena silently cursed herself for her weakness and with all her willpower forced her heart to slow down from the mad racing as she slowly stood up and focused her eyes on the tips of Cullen's shoes.

"How may I serve?" The elf asked finally this time in her usual flat tone of voice. At last some semblance of sense. She heard him sigh slightly at her question before he walked closer, now no more than one step away.

"I just thought we could talk. Alone." Cullen's right hand balled into a fist and then relaxed. He seemed nervous but Ellena had no idea why. _Perhaps he had some bad news?_

"Of course. Where do you wish to go?"

Cullen looked around Haven for a moment as if deciding about the answer before his right hand moved forward and his gloved fingers gently wrapped around hers. "Lets walk a bit around. I must say with all the work I didn't even have time to look around Haven properly." He smiled and led them through the main gate, outside the village.

Ellena noticed the night guards giving them odd looks but they said nothing. The presence of their commander seemed enough to silent any questions they might have had. The two of them walked slowly amongst the tents and Ellena could hear some rustling of the sleeping bags and occasional cough or snore of some of the soldiers but as they continued to walk the night became more and more silent until they could hear only the wind playing amongst the tree branches.

 _It was true, tonight was really beautiful._ The moon and the stars reflected from the fresh snow and everything seemed to glitter as if covered in diamond dust. After a while the pair had arrived to the frozen lake and Cullen stopped, his eyes overlooking the glistening surface. Ellena kept silent and focused on the steam which formed at her every breath. She had no idea what to say or do. This man still seemed like a mystery to her and she had to admit to herself that fear grew in her heart for somehow she might fail again and destroy this moment.

But Cullen suddenly turned his attention towards her,  his free hand slowly found its way to her cheek and he gently turned Ellena's face upwards while she felt his thumb stroke her jaw and her heart hammered against her ribcage with such force that she was sure The Commander must hear it.

"Look at me Ellena...I noticed you never look into my eyes." Cullen said finally and Ellena felt another inner battle rage inside her mind. _Should she look? Obey him? What if it is a trap?_ What if she looks him in the eyes and he will slap her for it. But Cullen had seemed like a good man and she wanted to believe in that. Wanted to trust him. And so the former slave looked up despite everything which she has been taught and gazed into his amber eyes. He was so close that she was sure he must not only hear the fast thrumming of her heart but probably could also feel it. But it felt good. Ellena felt nervous but in a good way.

"You are so beautiful." She heard The Commander say before he gently couped her face with both his hands and leaned in for a kiss. Ellena closed her eyes and felt his lips lightly brush against hers. They were soft and warm and she felt a surge of excitement rush through her whole spine. Yes she could finally admit it to herself. _She wanted this. Him._

Cullen paused for a moment as if testing her reaction but Ellena did not want him to stop. Not now. _Not ever_. And for the first time in her life she acted on her feelings rather than teachings and pressed herself closer to him and leaned in for another kiss, deepening it. Her lips parted and she could feel light brush of Cullen's tongue against her bottom lip in a teasing way as he lightly smiled before he pressed one hand against the small of her back and drew her closer, leaving them both breathless and lost in the moment. Each time Ellena felt his tongue run along her lips her body felt warmer and she heard a soft moan escape her own throat. Cullen chuckled lightly and his strong hand rand slowly down from her cheek, along the line of her neck and finally rested between her shoulderblades, his both arms wrapped around her form in protective way. _And trully enough Ellena felt safe and secured in his embrace._ She suddenly wanted to be daring and wrapped her arms around his neck and playfully nibbled on his bottom lip, this time it was Cullen who let out a muffled moan and Ellena wanted nothing more than to hear that sound again.

"I am sorry to interrupt your busy night, commander." Leliana's voice suddenly cut through the silence of the night and for the second time that night Ellena felt as if she had just jumped out of her skin. Cullen probably felt the same as he hastily pulled away from her, his face mixture of annoyance and embarrassment.

"Yes Leliana?" He asked in low and angry voice and probably on instinct stood before his elven companion.

"Well not that it was not amusing seeing our Commander distracted from his duties for once. Maker knows you can use some break time but honestly...with her? You know it might reflect poorly on you. There are only few people who tolerate her." Leliana smiled in a cold smile and looked at the elf exactly the same way as Ellena's former master did. That cold and calculated look left a cold pit in Ellena's stomach and she took a small step back.

"What do you want Leliana?" Cullen growled and his hand tightened around Ellena's wrist almost painfully but for now the ex-templar remained deaf to the sharp intake of breath which escaped her lips.

"We have received an urgent report from Fallow Mire. The scouts we have dispatched were captured by local Avvar clan, their leader seems to hold grudge against Inquisition and wishes to settle this according to their clan's rules, which means a duel. I have already talked with Cassandra and we've agreed that you should take Solas and Blackwall and deal with the matter."

"And you had to tell me that right now in the middle of the night?" Cullen spat in a tone which left little for interpretation about how annoyed he suddenly felt.

Ellena saw a smile widen on Leliana's lips as she answered in mockingly cheerful tone. "Well considering you are not busy and the lives of our men are in danger, I thought it best that you set out as soon as possible, Commander."

Cullen only sighed and let go of Ellena's hand. He stomped past Leliana and without turning back to either of the two women, disappeared into the darkness of the night.

"I have something for you too." The spymaster looked at the elf coldly and threw a white envelope at her, the paper landed at Ellena's feet in the snow but she dared not to look at Leliana.

"A letter from home you will certainly appreciate. And please, do try to act as you are supposed to I do not think you wish to bring shame on your master's household."

The last words cut like a dagger. Ellena numbly reached for the letter and noticed only the red wax seal of Atorian House. Leliana must have left meanwhile but the elf felt terrified and the throbbing in her ears made her deaf to the footsteps or to anything the Spymaster might have said before leaving. The wax seal of the letter had been broken and Ellena battled with her trembling and freezing fingers for a while with the envelope before she could finally withdraw a sheet of parchment. She had to head back. Needed some light to read this and she knew she _had_ to read this, no matter how terrified she might have been.

* * *

_To Sister Nightingale,_

_I appreciate the Inquisition's effort in regards to the elf slave, responding to the name Third. According to the Tevinter law system I have indeed inherited all assets and possessions of my late husband Tavus Atorian, which also includes all presently owned slaves._

_I understand your concern about the safety and the value the said slave holds for your cause. I am therefore willing to lend her to you until the matter of southern security is solved._

_Consider this as act of my good will in ensuring continuous fruitful relations between the south and Tevinter Empire._

_I will send my people to collect her once your business is over. Until then I entrust the slave under your command. Should she be damaged or killed I will expect appropriate coverage for the loss of property._

_With best of regards_

_Acantha Atorian_

* * *

Ellena read the letter several times before the words made sense to her numb mind and she felt her whole body tremble. So she belonged to her Master's wife now. She had to take few deep breaths to stop dark spots appearing at the edge of her vision because she felt like she would faint at any moment. During her service for Atorian House Ellena had met few slaves who belonged to her Master's wife. None of them survived more than few months. And now it was her fate to face.

That was after all this had been done. Ellena read the letter again to make sure she understood. So Leliana was her mistress now, while she worked with the Inquisition. The elf swallowed hard and felt the burning in her throat as she fought back the tears. _Yes she was stupid._ Had almost believed that life could turn for the better here. And at that moment Ellena remembered the kiss at the lake and her self control crumbled. Tears flooded her eyes and she started sobbing uncontrollably. Again she was reminded of the wise words from one of the elder cooks in her Master's home.

" _Love is a luxury of free people dear. You will save yourself a lots of pain if you give up on it now."_

 _The cook was right_. Ellena had almost stepped into the world of free people but she knew her place. Now at least she had someone to obey and follow and a goal. And she will not think about her future for now.

_After all, for slaves the ultimate truth is to live one day at a time. As they never know what tomorrow might bring._

* * *

Thirteen days have passed since Ellena had received the news from home and since the last time she had seen Cullen. Leliana reassigned her into a new place. The Spymaster needed Ellena's former room to house the newest member of the Inquisition. First Enchanter Vivienne had arrived from Val Royeaux five days ago after Cassandra, Varric and Leliana picked her up. Ellena had been reminded that she was not needed for this journey and was ordered to stay in the cabin and wait further orders.

And so she did. Food was delivered three times a day by one of the girls who tended to the inn and those were the only times when Ellena had any company. Despite their visits only lasted a couple of minutes the lonely elf started to look forward to each meal as with each passing day she grew more and more sad and miserable. At last one day she was told by one of the girls who brought the dinner to report to Sister Leliana at once in the chantry. _Finally she might get some orders or answers,_ Ellena thought _._ Anything was better than to stay here and wait and when she had arrived into the proper tent in front of the Chantry Lelliana was already waiting for her.

"Ah, good." Leliana looked at her ward and wrinkled her nose. "Take these and get yourself cleaned up after we are done here. You reek." The spymaster tossed a bar of soap and towel Ellena's way who kept her eyes on the ground but felt an embarrassed blush flush her cheeks. "Yes Madam."

"Now. We've received word from Commander that their work in Fallow Mire is done. They will arrive tonight and tomorrow we will set out to negotiate with the templar order. You are coming with us, there might be rifts along the way. I want you to follow close behind me and do what I tell you. Otherwise keep your mouth shut. Any questions?" Lelliana asked in her usual cheerful yet terrifying tone of voice and Ellena shook my head: "No Madam."

"Very well, dismissed."

Ellena clutched the towel and the soap to her chest and walked slowly through Haven and outside to the makeshift bathhouse. Along the way she could see villagers and soldiers alike tend to their duties who for the most part ignored her except for few occasional glances. As she dragged herself outside the wooden gate the elf heard pounding of the horse hooves and excited cheers from the troops who gathered outside to greet the arriving riders.

Just as she had dreaded, it was him. Cullen sat atop his horse and gave few nods to his soldiers. He was dirty from mud and blood but seemed unharmed, same as Solas and Blackwall and beehind them followed around ten soldiers. _At least they were successful._ Ellena thought with relief as she lowered her head and moved forward in the opposite direction from the happy crowd.

"Ellena!" Cullen called out to her. But she knew better than to respond, knew my place and Leliana's orders were crystal clear and so she only lowered her head and dashed away. Somehow Ellena had hoped that running would help her. To run away from the pain she suddenly felt in her heart.

_She was wrong though. It seemed that nothing could help with that now._

* * *

Upadated: 11.3.2016 _  
_


	5. where battle starts

It took the small group several days to reach Therinfal Redoubt. As if the weather decided to reflect Cullen's mood the surrounding countryside was mercilessly whipped by thick strings of rain and the world seemed to have transformed into a grey and black bleakness.

"Cassandra may I have a word with you?" The Commander of Inquisition forces nudged his horse slightly to catch up with the Seeker who steadily led the party forward. Cassandra had been selected a leader in this matter as she was best suited to negotiate with Lord Seeker Lucius and she knew the roads to Therinfal the best.

"Of course Cullen, is something troubling you?"

Cullen only nodded and slowed his horse next to his friend. "It is about Ellena, did something happen when I was gone in Fallow Mire?" The ex-templar asked after a momentary pause and his hands tightened around the reins.

Cassandra frowned a bit and looked over her shoulder. The party followed them steadily through the rain and most of those gathered had hoods low over their heads in vain hope to block out the rain. She noticed Leliana slightly hunched in her saddle, the spymaster looked worn and exhausted these past few days and Cassandra had often wondered if it was because of the worries about the Inquisition or perhaps something else. She knew Leliana for years and this was not the same woman who had served as Left Hand of the Divine.

Another crease appeared on Cassandra's forehead. Perhaps Leliana had been more grief stricken than she had let anyone know. They will have to talk, but for now the Seeker turned her attention to a small and hunched figure behind Leliana.

It was true that something had been off now that Cassandra had a time to think about it. The elf rode alone while before she at least had tried to spent some time with others. Now she noticed the young woman constantly silent and looking more miserable than ever before. It was hard to tell due to the rain, and Cassandra noticed that Ellena lacked a hood to at least partially protect herself from the elements, but it had almost seemed as if she was crying her eyes out now.

"I am not sure Cullen. I admit I did not have enough time to go and talk with her at all. But now that you're asking she does seem...different. How about when we return to Haven I will try and have a talk with her?"

"I would appreciate it, thank you Cassandra." Cullen forced a small smile before his gaze turned to a steadily growing stone fortress at the horizon. "We will soon arrive right?"

"Yes, I expect we are no more than half an hour away. Listen now that we have some time to talk, we should think about the plan. I keep my hopes up that things will go smoothly but after meeting Lord Seeker Lucius in Val Royeaux I'd rather have some back up plan."

Cullen chuckled lightly. Yes, he had read the report about what has happened and he could more than understand the worry which reflected on his friend's face.

"Well I thought that we could let you and Leliana deal with the talks while I would prefer Blackwall and myself to accompany you to emphasize on our strength...well now this sentence sounded better in my head." The Commander frowned and looked at Cassandra rather sheepishly.

"No worries, I know what you mean and I agree. I also think that we should keep Solas and Ellena as far away from the templars as possible. An apostate elven mage and a tevinter slave might not win us many favors. Let them stay with Varric and Vivienne to observe. We could always use ears outside the negotiation room."

Cullen nodded and paused for a moment while looking over his shoulder at Ellena. He felt his heart skip a beat in his chest and wished that this whole business was dealt with and they could talk. _He needed to tell her so many things._

But for some reason, it seemed that she only had her mind locked on following Leliana around like a puppy. _Well he will find out eventually._

"Right, lets get to it then." Cullen finally returned his attention to Cassandra and assumed his usual fully professional manners.

* * *

Leliana breathed out in relief as they arrived into the impressive fort and of course the weather started to calm down the moment they stepped in. _Typical_.

"Come here." She hissed at the elf and to her great satisfaction the girl obeyed instantly. Leliana had to stiff a chuckle form escaping her lips. She just could not help it. Just seeing Ellena all hunched and small made her thrilled. Perhaps there was some merit in having slaves. Leliana never thought about it but now when she actually had someone to command like this, who would obey and do everything... _like a dog._ The spymaster smiled and chose to ignore the tiniest of voices in her mind which told her that this line of thoughts was not entirely right and in stark contrast with the views she used to have had before, in her youth.

"Listen. You are to stay outside with Varric, Vivienne and Solas. I want you to keep out of their way and keep your mouth shut." Leliana measured the elf with her lightly green eyes and tapped one finger at her bottom lip. "Oh and keep your mark out of sight. We don't need all these nobles to talk about it. Not yet at least."

"Yes Madam." was all the girl said and Leliana turned swiftly on her heels and marched forward to meet with Cassandra and Cullen.

As she joined with the rest of the group she noticed a young man clad in templar armour hastily approaching them. "Welcome to Therinfal Redoubt. I am Knight-Templar Barris and I have been sent forward to greet you and to show you the way." Ser Barris bowed his head slightly in respect before he continued. "Lord Seeker Lucius asked for the negotiations to be held inside the keep and in minimal numbers. I believe Lord Ambernache will represent Orlesian nobles. May I ask who will speak for the Inquisition?"

Leliana saw Cassandra take one step forward but on an impulse she strode ahead and stood before the Knight-Templar. "I will handle the negotiations. Seeker Pentaghast, Commander Rutherford and Warden Blackwall will accompany me." The spymaster smiled cheerfully and ignored raised eyebrows from Cassandra and rather profound frown on Cullen's face.

"Very well, this way please." Ser Barris nodded and led his guests through a small courtyard. The place seemed like it had seen better days, yet Leliana could not help herself and feel slightly impressed. It had seemed that the remaining loyal members of the Templar order had found themselves rather strong and tactically sound headquarters.

"How large are your forces Knight-Templar?" Leliana asked after a moment, more to interrupt the awkward silence which hung over the group as they walked.

"We have several dozen templars present here at the moment as well as our ranking officers. Others are spread out throughout Orlais and Ferelden on various missions."

"I see. Have you been updated on the purpose of our visit then?" Leliana kept her eyes locked on the back of the young man who led the way and studied his posture and gestures.

"I believe the officers have been briefed. Considering the matter is still to be negotiated I suppose the rest of us will get our orders and updates based on how the negotiations go." Knight-Templar answered while he kept his stiff posture and Leliana smirked. This man was not as easy to read as she had hoped.

They entered dimly lit room and gathered around empty table in the middle. As mentioned before the orlesian noble had already been waiting inside and at their entry he cheerfully approached with a curtly bow.

 _No escape from the Game even here_. Leliana thought as she bowed back with the usual unreadable smile on her lips.

But before any one of them could proceed to obligatory pleasantries they were interrupted by four Templars who entered the room through the door on the other side. All of them wore hoods which covered their faces except for the man who was obviously in charge.

"Knight-Captain Denem!" Ser Barris stood in attention although Leliana noticed slight surprise which appeared on his face. She turned her gaze towards the said Knight Captain. He looked ill. She noticed the haggard outlines of his face. The unshaved stubble on his chin and cheeks and what was the most profound were his eyes. Leliana noticed right away the odd red hue around his irises. It seemed that the Knight-Captain indulged himself in more than just lyrium.

"So this is the best the Inquisition can offer?" Denem chuckled as he looked over everyone present before stopping to give one glance full of contempt to Cullen. "Who is the leader here then?"

Leliana stepped forward with a small bow but her eyes were locked on the templar and his men behind him. She could recognize betrayal when she saw one and she had no illusion about good intentions of these men. For whatever reason these templars might have had, Leliana was sure that her group will be attacked soon. But she could at least try and pry some information out of them.

"I am Sister Nightingale, Left Hand of the Divine and I speak for the Inquisition in this matter. Also I have been under the impression that we were meeting with Lord Seeker Lucius."

"He is currently busy with other things. I was sent here to assess how we can benefit from this alliance but I am not impressed." Denem idly placed his left hand on the sword hilt tied to his belt and Leliana prayed that others might have caught on the signals.

"This is hardly a welcome befitting Templar order and the Head of the Seekers." Cassandra budged in heatedly and stood next to Leliana.

"The welcome is as fitting as your Inquisition deserves. But enough of this charade." The Knight-Captain growled and as if waiting for a hidden command his men rushed forward, blades drawn and at the same time an echo of cries of panic and swords clashing erupted at the courtyard.

Between the combined might of Cassandra, Cullen, Blackwall, Ser Barris and Leliana the Templars stood little to no chance at winning this fight. But despite their odds they fought with vigor and fervor that Leliana had not seen before.

One of the templars had to be almost hacked to pieces before he stopped moving in vain attempt to fight back and Knight-Captain Denem received more blows to his head than what any other healthy soldier could have possibly endured and yet he still fought, sluggishly perhaps, but with the strength of two. At last Leliana managed to throw her dagger at him and the weapon ended his struggle in a sickening gurgle as his lungs filled with blood from the large wound on his neck.

"What is going on Barris?" Cullen barked as he ripped his sword from the body of one of the templars.

"I have no idea Ser, believe me. But we have to get through, rest of my Order are inside...we need to get to them." Barris pleaded, his face mixture of confusion, rage and worry.

"The door is barred from the outside, we could probably hack through but it will take time." Blackwall remarked and lightly kicked the door which they came through before as if to stress his point.

"Lets move forward then. We need to find out Lord Seeker Lucius." Cassandra tightened her grip on her shield and was already half way through the door which led deeper inside the keep.

"What about the others?" Cullen reluctantly averted his eyes from the door which led to the courtyard and Leliana smirked. "I am sure they will be fine. Between Varric, Vivienne and Solas not many could stand a chance at a fight. Now lets get moving. The sooner we find out what is going on here the sooner we will regroup."

The group entered deeper into the keep and with each body hacked to pieces they have found, they grew quieter and more resolute to stop whoever had been responsible for this pointless blood shed.

"These are not men, but monsters!" Cassandra called out as they downed another templar, this one had fought like a rabid dog and Leliana noticed red lyrium spikes growing out of the man's shoulders and neck. Even now when the templar was no more than pile of meat and armour, the lyrium seemed to grow through the tissue and expanded with sickening sound. The spymaster averted her eyes and shook her head. She had heard that odd melody again but this was no time to get distracted.

"Maker's breath how many of these things are here?" Cullen swore just when a group of five more templars rushed to meet them across the courtyard.

"Keep together, we cannot get overwhelmed." Cassandra replied with her shield raised and smashed the nearest enemy square in the head.

Leliana fired two more arrows, both have hit the far away templar in the neck yet the man still struggled to stand and to hold his sword.

_Though bastards_

"Watch out!"

The spymaster had no idea who had yelled that, all she could feel was immense pain in her back and she felt her whole body propelled forward like a rag doll.

"Leliana!" This was Cullen calling and Leliana almost smiled. _I should have known he would fuss over me._ She thought as her vision turned slightly blurry and she felt blood spill from the wound on her chest. The warmth which kept spreading over her made her feel sick.

She could feel herself cling to the last straws of consciousness but it was pointless. That damned melody had returned but Leliana remembered it differently. It had been sweet melody, a long time ago. Back in the Temple of Sacred Ashes. This time the sound seemed odd, changed and flawed. Strangely enough the spymaster felt tears stream down her cheeks. The song reminded Leliana of _"Her"_.

_Neria Surana. The only woman she had ever loved and the person who murdered her._

Leliana felt someone around her. She was vaguely aware of someone calling her name and holding her hand. But everything else seemed too far away to care anymore. All she felt was this anger. At the annoying song, the woman who had betrayed and killed her because she wanted to protect the Ashes from being defiled and lastly at that damned Tevinter slave who reminded her of Surana so much.

* * *

"Duck!" Was all that Ellena heard from Varric before an arrow swished past her ear and burrowed itself half way into the wall behind.

"We need to get to the door!" Vivienne yelled across the courtyard and the elf saw Madame de Fer's form slightly shimmer through the magical barrier which protected her from the relentless assaults of the templars. But the strain started to be obvious on Vivienne's face, the same strain which reflected from Solas' eyes.

_They were running out of time._

"Grab something sharp and pointy kiddo, we are ass deep in these bastards." Varric nudged the elf slightly with his elbow while her fired another bolt from Bianca.

"But I don't even know how to fight!" Ellena replied but her eyes already darted around in search for a sword, dagger or anything which could come in handy.

"Guess you'll have to be a fast learner then." The dwarf let out a small chuckle which drowned in a loud thump when Bianca fired another bolt at their enemies.

Ellena finally noticed a short sword laying under the corpse of one of the nobles and crouched down on shaking feet made her way forward to pick it up. The hilt was covered in thick blood and it made her stomach turn when she grasped it with her bare hand. "Alright...what do I do now?" She turned to look at Varric again but the dwarf had his hands full fending off one of the templars. The man looked mad, she could see foam forming around his mouth and his eyes were red and crazy. There was not much time to think, Varric needed help and she'd be damned if she did not help him. Her brain reminded her of Leliana's orders. _Stay out of the way and keep your mouth shut._

Ellena felt a smile form on her lips. _Well I guess I will not follow the orders today._ She shrugged and felt as if the heaviest stone had been lifted from her chest as she grasped the sword with both hands and plunged forward. The tip slid inside the man the feeling made her sick and she felt the steel of the weapon grind against the bones... _.ribs most likely._ The templar let out a blood freezing cry of pain and anger before he stumbled backwards, the sword still deep inside his body Ellena watched as if in slow motion as the templar grasped the hilt sticking out of his chest, he looked at her with surprised eyes and then fell over on his back and layed still.

Her hands trembled so bad that she had to wrap them around her waist in order to calm down. This was the first time she had ever killed anyone and she couldn't tear her eyes from the man who now layed sprawled on the ground. Some small part of her hoped that he would rise up again, that she did not just kill him. But he was still, his blank stare turned towards the heavens above.

"Hey. Good job kid...but we're not done yet." Varric nudged her again and took two steps towards the dead templar and ripped the sword out of him and held it for the elf to take again.

"We will talk about this, after. When we have time." He gave Ellena one of his sympathetic smiles and she took the sword from him with her shaking hand and a nod. "Alright." was the only answer she could manage without throwing up.

"We'll get the door!" Varric barked towards Vivienne and Solas who kept five templars at bay with their combined effort and a wall of fire.

"Right." Solas replied and with impressively fluid motion of his staff casted another barrier, this time around all of them.

Ellena felt as if her body had been wrapped with slightly warmer air. She saw Varric already run forward and without thinking too much about it, as she had feared that if she gave this whole thing too many thoughts her courage would leave her, the elf followed while trying to persuade herself that she was ready.

"We need to take down that big fella." Varric pointed towards the barricaded door at one of the templars. And Ellena's heart sank. The man...if he could even be called that, was taller than any of his comrades. She vaguely recognized a templar helmet on his head but it seemed that the flesh of his face grew out and around it, contorting his features into a grizzled mask of pure horror. Large, red spikes jagged from his shoulders and back and as the two of them closed the distance between them he let out a scream of pure hatred and madness and with a wave of his arm sent a barrage of red bolts flying forward.

"Keep going. The barrier will take this." Varric pressed in his run, Bianca fully loaded in his hands and he aimed and fired.

Ellena saw the bolt sizzle through the air and then rip through the monster's right eye socket and it lodged deep into his brain. The templar let out a howl of pain but to their utter horror still kept moving at them. "Shit." Varric cursed next to her and Ellena could only agree. But she was not ready to give up yet. _Varric was important, more important than her. She was nobody after all. But if she helped then she could do something right at least._

And with these thoughts firmly in mind Ellena dashed forward, finally her hands stopped trembli _ng_ _, maybe she was not that useless after all._ She plunged at the monstrosity and without any other thought kept stabbing it with her sword. Again and again until she felt that someone grabbed her and lifted her up and the next thing she knew was a paralyzing pain which exploded through the side of her chest and back as she was crushed into the wall.

_And then nothing. The whole world finally dissolved in blissful darkness._

* * *

Updated: 15.3.2016 _  
_


	6. Where battle continues

 

_**AN:** Hello everyone, thank you for lovely review so far._ (´౪`) _Next chapter will have some fluff I promise! The fighting will be soon over, yaay. Anyway hope to post chapter 7 before Christmas so stay tuned. Meanwhile enjoy the holiday mood and for those like me, enjoy the Star Wars hype train!_

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

* * *

"Come on kid, we have to keep moving." Ellena again heard Varric's voice as if he was talking to her through thick water and she blinked a few times in a vain attempt to try and clear the fog from her eyes. Her head still hurt and spun from the impact against the wall and she was fairly sure that a large bump was already forming above her right ear.

"Here darling, why don't you try and drink the rest of the healing potion?" Without a time to fucus eyes on Vivienne's face which suddenly appeared before her Ellena felt a glass vial pressed to her lips and obediently downed the rest of its contents.

The previous dose had helped her on the feet and she was now able to walk, even though she still felt as if the whole world was swinging from side to side alongside with her. This time though Ellena hoped that the potion could take care of it and allow her to walk straight again. But there was one thing she was certain of, no amount of healing potion could stop the nausea which invaded her stomach as the group slowly made their way through the keep's corridors.

The whole place seemed like a nightmare incarnate. They discovered bodies, fresh and old alike. Some of them mutilated by countless hacks and slashes of swords and axes, others deformed by red crystals growing out and through of them. All the halls they've entered so far smelled with that horrible mixture of salt and sweetness. The mixture of blood and guts spilled over the stone floors and walls.

"I am not sure I've said it before, but I have _really_ bad feeling about this." Varric repeat again his voice carried emphasis on "really" and he shifted Bianca in his hands again as if to make sure the intricate crossbow was trully ready to fire in case one of those bodies moved or if we've ran into those who fought them.

"Indeed. I think we all have the same idea about the situation." Solas replied dryly the impatience creeped into his voice.

Meanwhile Ellena felt the healing potion finally kick in and the fog before her eyes slowly disappeared. "I think I can walk now." The elf said towards Varric and steadied herself on her feet, at last the world stopped moving around.

"Just take it easy kid, you've got hit pretty hard back there. But I give it to you, you totally took that templar by surprise." Varric grinned at her and Ellena couldn't help it but to grin back.

"Well then, if we are ready, lets continue. We need to find out what happened to the others." Vivienne said in her usual sweet tone of voice and was already moving up the small flight of stairs and through the corridor the aura of her body and gestures betrayed nothing about if she was as disturbed by their treck through the keep as the others certainly were.

"Considering this stuff here is the red lyrium, I think we are in for more trouble, and I'm pretty sure others are too." Varric lightly patted Bianca but followed Vivienne with Solas coming along in his usual silence.

"Do you think others are alright?" Ellena asked Solas in half whisper as she felt growing fear and just had to distract herself with talking. It helped, at least somewhat.

"I certainly hope so. Although with all this around, the lyrium I mean, they might have encountered too large a resistance."

"Those templars we saw. The dead ones, do you think Cullen and others killed them?" The little elf next to him pressed on. Probably in some foolish hope she longed for reassurance. But at the same time knew better than to expect Solas to give her false solace from the truth.

"Some of them. But it seems that the templars turned on each other even before we've arrived into the keep."

"This stuff caused too much trouble in Kirkwall a few years ago. I still can't wrap my head around how it got here. Last time I saw anyone use it was when Knight-Commander Meredith fought against Hawke. It turned her into a statue." Varric commented and Ellena saw his grip on Bianca tighten if it was even possible.

"But these men, the lyrium seems to grow from them." Vivienne finally slightly slowed down as the group neared another closed doors in front of them at the end of the corridor. "If I had to guess, then I think the templars ingested the lyrium as a substitute for their normal dosage."

"That is sick." Varric growled while he crack-opened the door and looked through. "All clear. It seems that Curly and others did a good job in clearing this place out so far." He fully opened the door and waved at his friends with _"come on"_ sign of his hand.

"Sick yes. But considering the strength of the men we have fought, it seems the red lyrium is much more potent than the regular version. I would strongly recommend that we collect some samples should the opportunity arise."

"We could propose it to the others once we meet up with them, Madame de Fer." Solas closed the door behind them with a somber nod.

The courtyard the group entered seemed rather clustered with various boxes and pallets with supplies. Among all the things scattered here and there layed bodies of more than a dozen templars. Ellena noticed that the blood was fresh. It coloured the grey cobble stones in crimson and the whole picture felt almost surreal. Suddenly the lightning split the skies above them and the rain slowly picked up again and Ellena felt grateful to the weather suddenly. Maybe the rain could wash away all this filth.

"The door over there is open. Lets check it out, maybe they went through that way." Varric pointed towards the door which apparently led to the inner section of the keep and the rest of them followed. "You know, I really hope Curly and Seeker will have a long talk with whoever is running this place."

"I am fairly sure that the Inquisition will deal with the matter in appropriate manner, darling." Vivienne replied in her usual stoic manner although her jaw was set tighter than usual and her dark eyes focused on each detail as if she made a mental list of all the wrongdoing which had happened here so she could use it properly later.

Ellena dragged herself behind everyone and just watched them exchange words without saying anything at all herself. She felt tired and sick. And more than that, she felf confused. They came here to get help with The Breach but so far they've only found pointless death. It reminded her too much of how things always turned out back home. Something urgent happened and those in power caused even further mayhem and destruction rather than solve the issue. And she suddenly felt foolish. Somehow she had hoped that South might be different.

"There!" Varric and Vivienne suddenly cried out simultaneously and Ellena looked up from her musing to spot Cullen, Blackwall, Cassandra and some templar crouching at the end of the hall, behind the corner and under relentless assault of four red templars.

"Kid, stay here and keep low. We deal with this then we will return for you." Varric pointed over his shoulder to the empty courtyard and the elf nodded in response. Despite her anger and willingness to help Ellena understood that she would only be in their way. "Right." She backed out slowly and gave others a final look and prayed to the Maker that she would see all of them alive and well again.

"Lets show these bastards how it feels when the reinforcements arrive, shall we?" Varric grinned and aimed Bianca at one of the targets while Solas and Vivenne hurried forward both already busy with sending bolts and jets from their staves and hammering the enemies with the fury of their elemental attacks.

As Ellena watched the display of her companion's unleashed fury, she'd found a good hiding spot behind the crates and waited. The rain poured down from the skies above and she tried to distract herself from the worries by looking around. Several dead bodies not even ten meters away from her were all fresh. In some stroke of morbid fascination she studied them. Four of them were templar archers. Some of them still held their bows but all of them had arrows sticking out of various places of their bodies. One had his throat torn.

The nearest body was the same monstrosity they'd fought on their way into the keep. Ellena noticed the lyrium still slightly pulsating and had to avert her eyes from the sight. _Who would willingly do this to themselves?_   She asked herself before she noticed a blood trail which lead to the door on the right side of the courtyard. It looked as if someone dragged something through there. The elf followed the stains with her eyes and caught a glimpse of something silver reflecting on the ground. Ellena looked around again and slowly crouched forward to get a better look. It felt like ages had passed before she made her way to the item but luckily the courtyard remained deserted. She reached out for the silvery crest and her heart sank. She recognized the sigil. It belonged to Leliana.

* * *

"Cassandra, stop fretting over me. I am alright." Leliana pushed away Seeker's hand as Cassandra again and again tried to pin her down to the ground. "Honestly, the healing potion worked, no? Now let me join the fight."

"You do realize you almost died back there Leliana?" Cullen interrupted and crouched slightly lower to avoid another arrow which grazed the wall above his head.

"And we might _all_ die here if you do not let me fight." Leliana spat angrily, her hand already held her bow tightly. "We need distraction and out of all of us here, I am fastest."

"This is nonsense Leliana." Cassandra frowned and raised her shield once more to protect everyone from another attack. This time the red templars fired bolts of red lyrium again and Cassandra gritted her teeth as the impact resonated through her whole arm and watched her shield slightly glow with red hue at the spots of impact. The Seeker looked down on Leliana once more, still unsure how her friend survived her wounds. She got shot with this much power right in the middle of her chest, but now the Left hand of the divine was arguing with her as if nothing happened.

"If we get to the upper level, there are lyrium caches in Captain Denem's office. It might help us." Ser Berrit motioned towards the door leading into inner levels of the keep.

"But..." Cullen's words had been interrupted by Leliana. "You want to stop this, no? Then you let me deal with this and press forward." The spymaster roughly pushed Cassandra aside and stood up with her bow already drawn. "You have as much time as I have arrows, rush to the door. All of you." Leliana gave one long glace to Cullen who seemed ready to pin her down again. "Go now!" Was all she had said before she rushed forward and fired her first arrows.

"Though darkness closes. I am shielded by flame!" Leliana said to herself in hushed voice and felt her skin burn as the fire spread from the wound in her chest up to her throat and cheeks. But she cared little at this moment. All she could think about was to give herself fully to the cause again. And if it meant dying for it, then so be it. She aimed her bow again and again, with each aim her arrows found their marks. Yet the red templars proved difficult opponents. The crazed men ignored their wounds and furiously moved to climb down the ladders in a mad attempt to storm the courtyard.

"Andraste guide me!" The spymaster fired another arrow and the third archer fell dead to the ground. "Maker take me to your side." Leliana dashed over the courtyard and just as she had hoped the focus of the remaining archers and the lyrium infused monstrosity was fully on her. She rolled over some crates to shield herself from the lyrium bolt which sizzled through the wood and left a gaping hole in the nearest box. Two more arrows buried inside the chest of the crazed templar. He let out a blood freezing roar and dashed over the courtyard to charge at his enemy head on.

"Now!" Leliana cried out and sent her last arrow at the monster her eyes locked on her comrades who safely crossed the courtyard, their shields up to protect them from any stray arrows which might have been fired their way.

_Good. None of the archers hit their marks._ Leliana breathed out in relief and took out her daggers. She watched others enter the inner part of the keep and smiled before she jumped out of her hiding place and met her foe head on. The fast and agile spymaster dove her daggers into the neck of the huge templar and with one twist of her wrists cut through the sinew an flesh. The man howled in pain and tried to claw with its twisted hands at her but she was too fast for him to reach.

The former bard nimbly pushed back and ducked low only to sidestep her foe and strike at his back. This time the lyrium infused warrior stumbled under the deep blows and fell on the ground, red blood spilled over the grey stones. Leliana had only so much time to rip out one of her arrows from the dead body and dash back for her cover when the remaining archers unleashed their shots.

In all the battles the spymaster had participated so far, this one felt the most unreal. She heard the cries of her enemies and saw them fall dead to the ground. But none of the templars uttered any words be it among themselves or to their enemies. Leliana turned her attention to the nearest man. The archer switched from his bow to short sword and was now slowly coming forward across the courtyard towards her hiding place. She had to wonder if with the immense strength the red templars had gained they lost the equal part of their reason. With her bow drawn to full power she unleashed her arrow and with great satisfaction saw it plunge through the man's throat. He let out a sickening cry of pain which died in a gurgle as blood spilled from the wound, trashed slightly on the ground for a few moments before his body remained still.

_Two more to go._

But before the spymaster could even think about a way how to dispatch the remaining foes she felt herself propelled backwards by the sudden impact as one arrow had hit her shoulder. Leliana felt the tip of the arrow rip through her armor and flesh before it reached her right shoulder blade and shattered the bone. The pain blinded her vision and she had to bite down on her fist to stop herself from crying out loud. She felt two strong arms grasp her wrists, someone dragged her across the ground but _she had to give others some clue_. With that in mind Leliana managed to rip the silver sigil with her teeth from the bottom of her hood and watched it fall on the ground. The spymaster clinged to a small hope that others might notice it on their way back.

"Bring her to me!" a terrible voice echoed in her mind and in the last moments before she passed out Leliana could not even fathom if the voice belonged to a man or some monster. All she knew was that she has been captured.

* * *

"Look there." Blackwall suddenly grabbed Cullen's shoulder and pointed across the corridors of the inner keep at the three running figures, all of them already firing at the templars.

"Right on time!" Cullen breathed out in relief as he watched one of the red templar archers topple forward and crumble on the ground with three bolts from Bianca sticking out of his chest.

"Hey Curly, we thought you might need some hand with this." Varric grinned and fired another shot at the templar monstrosity which tried to flank them.

"Thank the Maker you are here." Cassandra smiled though her forehead glistened in sweat and she fought with all her remaining strength the second lyrium infused soldier.

"Well now what would you have done without me Seeker." The dwarf grinned. "Alright Bianca lets finish these bastards."

Between the six of them the remaining templars stood little chance. At last, the last one shattered into frozen pieces when Vivienne gracefully snapped her fingers.

"You look awful dears, do you need some healing potions? I still have two left." The Grand Enchanter patted her black leather bag, strapped casually over her shoulder.

"We are fine." Blackwall replied with a grateful nod.

"Where is Ellena?" Cullen suddenly looked around his eyes full of worry.

"We left her outside. She is alright." Varric replied and a knowing smirk spread over his face when he noticed the commander breathe out in relief.

"Did you see Leliana on your way in?" Cassandra asked while her eyes darted towards the door at the end of the corridor.

"No, we met no one on our way here." Solas replied with a slight frown on his face. "Should we head back?"

"We need to check this door first. I don't want any surprise at our back if we move out of here and hopefully there is some lyrium stored inside." Cullen stepped forward together with Blackwall, ready for frontal assault.

"I hope Leliana is alright." Cassandra remarked grimly as she joined with the two of them before the door, her shield and sword ready for whatever might lay behind it.

"She is resourceful Seeker. Now lets get this over with." Varric aimed Bianca at the door just as Cullen kicked them in.

To their great relief the office of Captain Denem was empty. Barris and Cassandra immediately headed towards blue labeled boxes piled in the corner to replenish the supplies. "If we meet anyone from the order who is on our side, this might help us win this." The young templar commented.

Meanwhile Cullen looked around the office. The walls were painted in red signs and symbols. This looked like a work of some cult rather than a headquarters of templar order. He noticed a bust with letter pinned to it and walked over to get a better look.

"Vivienne I think you should see this." Commander took the letter and handed it to Madame de Fer with quite alarmed look.

"Hmm interesting. So their next plan is to assassinate Empress Celene? Such act could very well plunge the whole South into the civil war." Vivienne studied the paper her eyes growing more angry with each line she read. "An excellent find commander. Now we know what our enemy is planning and we might be able to act."

"Barris, which way leads inside the keep? We need to stop this as soon as possible." Cullen barked at the Knight-templar.

"Back to the courtyard and through the door on the right. It leads to the upper levels and from there we can get inside the main hall. That is where I hope we can find Lord Seeker or anyone who is still on our side." The young man replied with haste. "I think we have everything we can carry from here."

"Alright, lets head back then. We need to find Leliana, with luck she just scouted ahead." Cassandra marched out of the office and the rest followed suit and made their way to the courtyard.

* * *

"Ellena!" She heard Cullen call out from the door on the other side of the courtyard and her heart skipped the beat. He was unharmed. Thank the Maker.

"Are you alright?" He asked as they all walked closer but the elf only nodded. She did not forget the letter from home or Leliana's advice.

"I found this." Ellena finally handed him the sigil which she had found. "It looks like Leliana's."

"Where did you find this?" Cassandra suddenly pushed through the group, worry reflected over her whole face.

"Right there, there are also tracks which lead to the door and this layed on the ground." Ellena motioned to the door on the right side.

"Alright. Ellena you stay with Varric and Solas at the back. Barris and Cassandra you will take the point. Rest will spread out. Watch out for ambushes. Lets get to the Lord Seeker and get this over with." Cullen tightly gripped his sword and all of them followed.

The door led inside into the keep. There were no bodies anywhere but the group could easily follow the trail of blood which led farther inside. Ellena followed silently between Varric and Solas, both of them held their weapons tightly, their eyes alert and ready. She kept her eyes on the floor and thought about Leliana. The elf had mixed feelings on the matter. She was certain that Lelliana hated her for some reason, although that was not a new attitude. Lots of people she'd met before detested slaves. But Lelliana was her mistress now and she was wounded. Ellena wondered just how much blood she must have lost, judging by the trail they followed her wounds were grim.

It felt like ages before the group left the inner corridors of the keep and exited to a clustered courtyard. It must have served once as a place of peace and solace. Ellena saw stone benches nestled under the trees in the center and a few unspoiled flower beds, the blossoms now sadly dripped with rain drops and quite well reflected the overall somber and grim mood of the day.

Several corpses layed scattered here and there, some of them looked like the red templars others were just young recruits, they probably fought against the madness of their superior officers and payed with their lives. Ellena a felt sudden pang of pain in the left palm of her hand and a small jolt of green light surged from the mark. _So it seemed the demons were indeed present and maybe were behind all this madness._

Ser Barris led them through another door and a short room, the blood trial on the ground seemed thinner now. And Ellena was not sure if that was a good sign of Leliana's wounds getting better or a bad indicaton of her losing too much blood. At last they exited the building and stood before long flight of stairs which led towards the cathedral-like building at the very top of the keep.

"This is it. Whatever we might find inside, I am with you, Inquisition." Barris slightly bowed his head towards Cassandra and Cullen and all of the slowly mounted the steps, weapons ready and eyes alert to whatever might happen at the top.

* * *

Updated: 18.3.2016


	7. Where sweet dreams never come

**AN:** _Alright this is somewhat interlude chapter. It is not really super mandatory for the story but I just felt like throwing some back story here and I also had part of it done for a while and it was fun to finish it._

_Pretty please if someone here is reading this who knows Latin, do not bash me, I tried my best to find out proper sources for the snippets I used for Tevinter language._

（ **Ｔ** - **Ｔ** ）

 _The story will continue soon though. I will write few of the interlude chapters throughout the course of the whole thing, mainly to explain or introduce some events from the past. Oh and it won_ _'t be necessarily just about Ellena, other characters will have their time to shine too._ (=^ω^=)

* * *

If someone had asked me how it all started I would have to think rather hard for a moment. Yes I could remember my mother at least to some degree. And also our home. I remembered the small town where our family lived and the vast fields behind the tavern where my mother served.

 _Was I happy during those days?_ I think I was. Life seemed easy and straightforward. My older sister soon joined our mother and served in the tavern but Sharis and I, we've dedicated our days to idle play in the fields or hid behind the boxes near a large fireplace and listened to stories from various travelers who've passed by.

I did recognize us different from the other children. You can only be called "knife-ear" so many times before you realize that the villagers were not fond of us but as children tend to be flexible Sharis and I have soon learned not to give too much weight to the words. After all we've only needed each other for a company.

My mother often joked about us being so alike in appearance that she could not tell us apart. It had seemed foolish to us. After all we knew how different we've looked but being twins had its perks. Soon enough we've learned how to prank not only our mother but our older sister too.

_Yes we were all happy during those days._

Things changed though and I've learned it the hard way. Although now when I look back at all which has happened it was perhaps not as unexpected as I have thought. One night I woke up to the sounds of dozens of hoof beats and people screaming. I can still remember Sharis who jumped into my bed and we held hands, our hearts pounded in our chests with fear but also excitement. We might have been twelve or perhaps thirteen years old. I cannot remember with certainty.

Our older sister Malya stormed into our bedroom. To this day I will never forget the fear and pain which reflected on her face as she grabbed my hand, her grip like iron and she dragged us downstairs. I could see houses burning through the windows and the screams and cries seemed ever louder.

"Where is mother?" I asked in tight voice and concentrated on moving my legs and avoid tripping over things which were scattered on the ground. It seemed that everyone in the tavern had left in a hurry.

"Shhh. Stay quiet both of you, no matter what happens, come with me." Was all that Malya said as she continued to lead us across the main hall and towards the back door. We stayed low and sneaked past the crates and behind fences. Now I could properly see what was going on. A group of around two dozen men on horses rampaged through our village, they threw nets at people and those who resisted or fought back were slaughtered on the spot.

The memories I have from that night are scattered at best. I remember trembling with fear and holding onto Malya with all the strength I had left. Somehow I felt that if we got separated it would mean the end, of everything. Another thing which has been forever burned into my mind was the moment when we saw the riders drag our mother in the net behind one of the horses. To this day I still feel guilty about what I have done next. I cried out to her and that single cry of terror and sadness resulted in all three of us getting captured. I know my sisters said over and over that they forgave me. But even if they went around and asked everyone to forgive me I would never be able to forgive myself. It was I who got us captured and therefore everything which has happened since was and still is my responsibility.

The transition from someone who enjoys personal freedoms in their lives to someone who suddenly has no rights or freedoms what so ever is a hard one. The hardest thing is to come to terms with one simple truth. From the moment the net closed around us and we were hauled on top of one of the wooden carts we ceased to be people, we became merchandise. Our lives were not our own anymore and everything we might have ever had shrunk to one small question.

_What will happen next?_

From there on we never knew what will happen next. The carts left with the prize, the slave hunters celebrated a good hunt and I saw our little village crumble to ash as few last houses burned down.

Over the next few days several of the slaves died. Some of them from injuries, older ones from shock and lastly some managed to kill themselves. I suppose I cannot blame them. Malya, Sharis and I we were still too young to comprehend what horrors lied before us but now I guess I can understand the merit some might have seen in ending their own lives to avoid life in slavery.

After several days of rickety ride our caravan finally arrived to its first stop. The little camp where we've stopped consisted of wooden palisade, several tents, armed guards and few holding pens. The memory I recall as most vivid from that time was mixture of fear and hunger but most of all the terrible cold. The skies poured over us in thick strings of cold rain and I huddled together with my sisters in meek attempt to secure some body heat. The thin nightgown I wore did nothing to protect me from the elements.

Moments after we've arrived we were hauled off the carts and rounded together in the middle of the camp. Next came the sorting. This happened several times and every time for different reason. We had to be sorted by age first and we were nudged inside one of the pens to join the company of dozens other children. That was the first time we have met with other elves. I noticed that all of us here were different ages but no one seemed to be younger than five or older than sixteen.

The pen seemed to follow some unspoken rules. Girls all sat at the left side while boys grouchily occupied the right. So we followed suit and sat together at the nearest empty spot.

Sharis and Malya huddled together but I felt like I did not deserve such comfort. If it weren't for me we would not have been in here at all. That was at least what I've believed in at that time. Little did I know that no one was spared from our village and that those who fled were chased down by large Mabari dogs and either herded together or torn to pieces by the ferocious beasts.

But I kept sinking into my own self pity and to occupy my mind I looked over at the others. I saw some human children here and there but elves were the majority and it had seemed that amongst our numbers, girls were more numerous. Some of the children were whispering, I could hear ferelden accent as well as voices laced with soft Orlesian. I knew as much from the tavern guests back home. But the accent which persisted the most was mixture from Nevarra and Free Marches.

Few girls next to us looked different though. They drew away from others and spoke in common mixed with foreign words. The sound of their speech gently tugged at something in my mind, the melody seemed oddly familiar but I could not recognize the words or meanings. That was the first time I've met with Dalish elves. Even now after so many years I sometimes wonder what had happened to them. I suspect that they must have suffered in the slavery more than others.

Days went by one by one, yet the passage of time felt almost unreal. We were fed twice a day though the weak soup and hard bread did nothing to satisfy out hunger. Some of the children were taken out of the pen and newcomers arrived instead. We had no idea what we were waiting for until after around two weeks our time to move on with our journey came at last.

* * *

In my whole life I never felt so intimidated by city walls as much as I did when my eyes saw Minrathous for the first time. When we've arrived with one of the slave caravans across the bridge it felt as if the enormous gates were about to swallow us whole. I was mesmerized by the sight of so many foreign people, odd sounds and songs echoed through the alleys and from the houses all around us. Our cart slowly pushed forward through the crowds, some of the people looked at us briefly but most were unconcerned or oblivious to our two vagons loaded with scared and crying children. The caravan finally stopped near a large building which faced the open market place and two men came to collect us.

"Descendam!" one of the guards yelled. I had no idea what that meant but all three of us just followed what the others did. We obediently left the cart, our legs stiff from the long treck, and stood in line before the men and the building.

Another sorting happened quickly, where boys where separated from girls and afterwards each one of us had received a makeshift collar made out of rough rope with a wooden tag tied to it. I looked down at it but the markings there made no sense to me. I figured it must have had to do with "reading and writing" but I knew neither. After all to serve in a tavern in our small village we did not need to read or write. Our mother never knew it and she had worked just fine.

One of the younger girls started crying and a whip cracked through the air above her head. I figured that the first time was a warning and prayed that she understood.

"Silentium!"

The guards then went and clasped one iron shackle around our left wrist then hooked an iron chain through and fastened us all in line. _No escape indeed._

"Exeo citus." Was all we've heard before we were yanked by the chain and marched through the door inside, into the building. I saw several other children or young people move around, they had clean, white clothes of uniform design and the collars on their necks were made out of leather and the tags gleamed in coppery tint. I still remember the irrational pang of envy I felt when I saw them and I was marched around in my now beyond dirty and ragged nightgown with the rope collar and wooden tag.

After several flights of stairs we've arrived inside a circular hall where five women sat behind the tables, all of them looked middle aged and very hostile and regarded us with cold looks.

"Sescenta sexāgintā tres." Were the first words one of them uttered but no one moved. The woman regarded us all with even colder look then pointed at one of the guards who looked over our tags and pushed one of the girls forward. The same woman looked over at the guard again and paused as if thinking about something for a moment then spoke once more: "Ubi sunt a?" she asked and pointed at us with a black quill which shimmered in the faint candle light.

"Nevarra et Itinere Libre." The guard snorted our way and I heard the woman sigh before she turned her eyes to us all again.

"You will be re-educated later. For now I will use common tongue so you understand." She said in heavy accent and pointed her quill at the girl who still stood frozen, barely two steps before us.

"Six hundred, sixty tree. Go to the last table at the right. And swiftly we do not have the whole day."

They called our numbers and we moved to the tables which were pointed for us. Those like my sisters and I who could not read our tags were simply nudged forward when our numbers came up. _Seven hundred and three was mine._ I think I will remember it till the day I die.

We were stripped from our clothes which were tossed at a large pile. First they checked our teeth, then eyes, hands and feet. Whenever they found out something which was not agreeable for them the poor soul was sent out through the door at the other end of the room. I do not know what has happened with those children but we've never seen them again.

They washed us in a stone bathhouse. The water was cold but the pressure from the hoses managed to rip away all the dirt and dried up mud. Next was a stop at the small table where another woman checked everyone's hair for lice and tossed some sweetly smelling powder over our heads. The thing stuck to our hair for the next several days, the smell made me sick but it must have been effective against lice as we've never had any during our stay in that house. At last we were given new clothes, simple white tunic and linen pants and hemp sandals and our rope collars were replaced with leather ones though the small wooden tags remained. I figured it probably took them some time to forge metal ones for us.

"As of now you were all kindly liberated by the House Tertius from your previous humble and meaningless lives. To thank the House Tertius for this deed your lives which we have saved will serve as a commodity. You will all be educated in the proper language, reading, writing, manners, skills and behaviour and after the period of four years you will be evaluated and able to re-pay the debt to us."

Those were the words which welcomed us into our new lives in House Tertius' Education home. Since none of us three could read or write and we knew nothing about the language which was spoken in Tevinter we were assigned to the same class along with other children of various ages and backgrounds. The four years we've spent in the Education home were among the happiest I can remember.

We'Ve had few duties to attend to but mainly we were groomed into proper merchandise. The chant about generosity of House Tertius was repeated during every meal and before our classes and bed time and after several months we all felt grateful to our saviors. Everyday during breakfast we were given a bitter tasting herbal tea and with each passing day and each cup we drank the memories of our previous lives slowly faded into nothing more than foggy dreams or distant recollection of feelings and vanishing images.

By the time our fourth year of education was over I referred to my sisters and myself by the numbers which sparkled on the metal tags around our necks and my memory of my mother and our village was nothing more than the faintest whisper locked deep inside my heart.

* * *

Sharis and I both grew up to be regarded as beautiful by our peers and we were aware of the looks some of the guards gave us. But unlike my shy and delicate sister I enjoyed the attention. It sparkled a feeling of power in me and I was proud of my long and ebony hair and deep green eyes which left other girls jealous and my teachers often promised me a good service after my education ends.

And as expected all three of us were evaluated and processed. I truly felt happy and proud. Finally I will be able to pay my debt for all the good things the House Tertius did for me. Only problem was, I had no idea how. Yes I could now read, write, cook, dance, clean and sing. I could do all the manners of housework and entertain guests if need be but probably in my youthful ignorance I failed to see how all this could earn House Tertius any money.

My ignorance lasted only until few days later when my sisters and I together with other seven girls were gathered and walked through underground corridors into what had looked like shaded market place. I saw many people already gathered, they sat in chairs in rows along the walls and just now I have realized that it was not as much a market place as amphitheater. Small and shielded from the daylight with colourful veils and carpets which hung from the upper most rows. We all waited in the corner before a man stepped into the middle and pointed to the small marble stand.

"As you know, every four months House Tertius is proud to present our newest merchandise. Please remember the bids all start at usual value, raise your seals for each bid. All the merchandise you will see today is trained in all usual assets, we will auction elves separately. First item a fifteen year old girl from Nevarra. Auction number 709."

The whole auction proceeded in the same manner. The people in the rows above us yelled and raised their seals and different amounts of coins were exchanged for each girl which stood in the middle. Once sold she was pointed towards the exit and we never saw her again. A horrible fear suddenly grew in my stomach. If this continued all three of us would be separated and I would never see my sisters again. I thought that Malya must have realized the same thing because when they called her number she did not move. I felt split between obligation to push her forward so she would obey the order and my fear that if I did so I would never see her again. Moments dragged on when the next call bounced from the stone walls and discontent murmur interrupted my thoughts.

"Malya, you have to go..." I pressed desperately. I did not want her to get punished. I could not see my sister get hurt. But she grabbed our hands and just as one of the guards marched forward to find out what the delay was about she dragged us forward and to the stage with her. To my relief the auctioneer seemed to quickly collect his wits as he briefly addressed the crowd.

"Yes, well here we have the set of three items. All are pure bread elf maidens. Item number 701 is twenty years old, 702 and 703 are twins, seventeen years of age. The house Tertius offers them together or separately. Any buyers?" He looked around to see any seals. Few were already up and others soon joined.

The auction went on for what felt like forever and I desperately clutched Malya's hand and prayed. To the Maker and Andraste and to whomever would listen up in the heavens. I prayed only for one thing. That we would not get separated and it had seemed that my prayers were answered when I heard the three sharp blows of the wooden hammer. "Items 701 to 703 sold as a set to House Atorian."

* * *

Our new home revealed itself to be spacious mansion at the villa quarter of Minrathous. Together with several marble houses it consisted of large front and back gardens encircled with white wall with red tiles on top and shaded ponds and fountains which separated large stables and racing track.

But my sisters and I had spent most of our time in the servant quarters under the household where we've tended to our new duties. Malya was bought as a present for the lady of the house who used her for every little chore. During the first few months Sharis and I have barely even seen her. Our own arrangements proved a little more complicated. We were bought for the head of the house but he was visiting relatives in some other city and so our chores were mainly small tasks handed to us by the senior servant, a motherly looking woman with thick grey hair and firm attitude who disapproved of mistakes but proved to be sympathetic and kind.

From those first months in our new home I mostly remember my awe at the breathtaking beauty of that place and the sweet smells of flowers and trees which lingered in corridors and poured from the gardens through the open windows. The halls of the main house seemed endless and I grew to know every little dot in the marble tiles because I had to polish them again and again and again until I could see my own reflection in them better than in the mirror.

The master of the house had finally returned one late summer afternoon and Sharis and I were called in to the hall to greet him and present ourselves. After such a long time of only hearing about the man I admit I grew somewhat curious. I also harbored a small hope that the tasks given to us might now be a little bit less dull. After all Malya seemed so busy in her service that I grew rather envious. She looked tired but she also wore new clothes and on few occasions received trinkets as gifts and I had hoped for the same.

Master Atorian proved to be a man of few words at first. He regarded us with passing glance before he retreated to his study. He was perhaps in his mid thirties, with dark hair and dark mustache and his eyes were deep and grey as skies during storms. That was the first time we saw our master and for few days also the last. It was not until several days had passed when a small celebration was held in the house and Sharis and I were instructed to serve refreshments.

That was the first time I had ever seen nobles and their parties and I could still remember my eyes wide open as I tried to took in all the beauty of the evening gowns and all the splendor of the guests. They danced and laughed and walked around seemingly oblivious to my presence and I rather nervously made my way through the crowd and refilled their glassed or distributed silvery platters loaded with delicacies.

Later that same night when all the guests had retreated to their own homes and all three of us were soundly sleeping in our quarters we heard our masters summons. Calling for us at this hour was rather unusual but Sharis and I both hurried to tend to his needs. He called on us from his study and as we entered I noticed two things, our master was rather inebriated and he was not alone. An elven woman, who I have not seen before sat in a corner. She was dressed in plain black clothes and a small leather suitcase rested on her knees.

"Girls. You did such a wonderful work tonight." Our master walked to us with open arms and squeezed us in a fatherly manner, his strong arms clasped our shoulders as he drew us into the room. "Now for such a good service I have a reward for you...two rewards actually." He smiled and let us go, before he closed the door and I heard the key click in the keyhole.

"Now, this is one of my business associates. She will tend to the reward tonight. But first let us drink." Master Atorian pointed to the two crystal glasses on his table, both filled with lightly purple liquid. I felt confused at the situation. Never have I expected our Master to behave this friendly with us but I was not the one to complain. I smiled in my naiveté and drank the offered drink. The liquid dropped quickly into my stomach and it left odd and sweet aftertaste.

I felt like I needed to smile. Suddenly everything seemed so wonderful. I stopped caring if my sister drank her own drink and focused my eyes on the woman again. Only now I noticed an intricate tattoo which decorated her face, the ink had golden colour and it glittered in the dancing light of the candles. It looked so beautiful. I almost went to her, wanted to touch the lines with my own fingers but luckily I was interrupted by my Master's voice.

"Now, before we start I need to give you girls some names. I know my servant bought you in the set of three, so..you will be Second and you Third." He laughed and pointed his finger first at my sister then at me before he inclined his head and waited.

"Yes master." We replied unison and I had to force a giggle back into my throat. Third was a silly name but my Master gave it to me and somehow I felt proud of it and wanted to treasure it.

"Which colour do you want on which girl." The woman suddenly asked from her corner and my mind worked overtime as I tried to fight the lightheadedness and at the same time figure out what was she referring to.

"Hmm, which one do you think is more pretty?" My Master asked as he stood before us and leaned in a bit to inspect our faces.

"I think the one on the right has better spark in her eyes." The woman replied and my Master took hold of my chin with two fingers and tilted my head slightly from side to side as he looked closer. "Hmm you might be right. Start with this one then and make her in gold." He let go of my face and nudged me forward towards two small klinai in the corner.

"Undress yourself Third." He commanded and I obeyed without second thought although I felt my cheeks burn. This was the first time I had to take clothes off in front of another man since the time I've arrived into the Educational home and I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I untied laces of my light dress and soon stood naked with only the folded clothes pressed to my chest as a weak form of protection from my Master's eyes.

"Lay down on your back, I will start with the front side first." The woman said and I did as she had asked and layed myself all stiff on the small couch. "I will do the face first, do not move." She continued and I saw her lean over me before I felt tiny prick of a needle on the side of my neck. My body suddenly relaxed. I could still feel the cold, night air on my skin and her fingers as she brushed the stray locks from my forehead. But I could not even lift one finger and my breathing felt heavy. I swallowed an odd taste at the back of my mouth but I could not move my lips and my eyes felt heavy as my lids closed shut.

As I layed there trapped in my own body panic surged through me, but no matter what might have tried I could not move or scream or do anything at all. I felt cold cloth against my face as the woman cleaned my forehead, then cheeks and then continued down over my neck and chest. Panic which I had felt, now mixed with confusion, and I heard Sharis let out a small scared whimper but all I could do was to lay in this unbearable, powerless paralysis and wait.

Then I felt sharp pain pierced through my skin. Thousand needles pricked my face and were replaced with searing hot pain afterwards. I wanted to scream, to toss and turn but I could only endure. I felt tears stream from my eyes but the elven woman just wiped them away and continued. Amids the pain and despair about my situation I realized what was happening. The woman was tattooing my face. _Make her in gold._ My Master's words echoed through my head as the burning pain continued and centered over my eyelids. I wanted to die. Anything would be better than that pain. I had to focus on something else. I started counting my breaths but each one seemed separated by eternity from the next. I burned. Not only my face but my neck too. She continued, lower and lower. Across my collar bones, the needle resonated against my bones and set my teeth on edge. I felt the pattern change into spirals and swirls as she focused around my breasts and a new level of pain erupted when the focus shifted to my nipples.

It felt like an eternity before my torment ended with last few pricks around my navel but my body was still paralyzed by what ever substance the woman had used and she unceremonious grabbed my left arm and shoulder and tossed me over and turned me around.

I layed flat on my burning chest and stomach, the pain still seared around my flesh and it was hard to breathe now. My throat was dry and every breath I took was labored and harder than the previous one. But my torment continued as the needles engraved the searing golden substance into my back, around my shoulder blades and finally it ended with few strokes at the height of my kidneys.

My whole body trembled and I felt feverish. Strange warm rush surged through my skin and I drifted in and out of conscience. I could feel a light sheet draped over my body when the woman lifted me and sat me up. Only then I have realized I could somewhat move again and I let out a hoarse cry of pain, tears spilled from my eyes but nothing could stop the burning I felt all over my skin.

"Sit still. The pain will go away. Eventually." She said and pressed a glass vial to my lips. And I drank longingly, I did not even care what liquid it was. I needed something to help with my parched throat and I harbored fools hope that perhaps the drink could douse out the fires which licked over my skin. "She will be out cold for few days. I will start the work on the next one." were the last words I recognized before my mind drifted into a blissful darkness of oblivion.

* * *

Updated 18.3.2016


	8. Where there is no return

_**AN:** _ _Hello all my dear readers. First of all I would like to thank everyone for the reviews, likes, favorites and kudos. You people are wonderful!_

_Now in regards to this chapter. I am happy I managed to finish it before the full madness of Holidays kicks in. I might have a slight delay before the next update but if all goes well it will be posted during the weekend._

_Now for the warnings. I let myself go with the flow this time, so this chapter is much darker and I would dare say much more detailed than the previous ones. It contains some fluff which should be safe to read, I haven_ _'t yet fully explored that aspect of the story yet. (but it will come soon)_ _**BUT** _ _there is also a scene which contains torture. If anyone here is more sensitive towards such topics, please be warned._

_Nonetheless I do hope you will enjoy this update and also I would like to wish you all happy holidays and a good time!_

* * *

The moment their group have dismounted before the large gates of Heaven Cullen finally let out a relieved sigh. To his surprise he was not even aware about that he half held his breath or how tense his body really was. But at last they were all accounted for and the mission was completed. For now. The Inquisition's commander handed the reins to one of the stable hands and turned to look back at the rest of his company. They looked bruised, battered and exhausted but as far as he could guess all of them had the same relief reflected on their faces. Well all of them except Ellena and Leliana.

A pang of guilt stabbed Cullen's heart when he looked at the two women who were presently carefully shifted from the makeshift cart and onto stretchers and hurriedly carried away through the gate. _I should have done more_. The ex-templar thought. But in the fight against a demon like Envy they all felt quite powerless and unprepared. If it wasn't for Ellena they all would have been probably dead.

The memory of her pale face stained with crimson blood as she layed motionlessly in the middle of the courtyard while the mark on her palm flared with jade light brought another painful stab to Cullen's heart. He wanted to follow the stretchers. He wanted to be there, with her, to hold her hand and to tell her that everything would be alright. But he was also the commander of their forces and right now his focus should be on preparations for the templars which will arrive to help with the breach soon.

_If we can actually even do something about the breach, now that Ellena is..._

Cullen balled his hands into angry fists and let out a frustrated growl. It was so unfair. She should not have even been there.

"Cullen..." He heard Cassandra's voice and turned to look at the Seeker. She regarded him with tired eyes before he felt her hand on his shoulder. "...go get some rest and then go see her. I will take care of the rest." His friend offered a supportive smile before she waved her hand towards the gate.

"I..." Cullen was about to protest but then he saw her eyebrows rise and her lips pursed into a thin line. "...very well. And thank you Cassandra." Was all he had said before his feet carried him through Haven towards the Chantry.

Twenty minutes later when he had dropped his equipment into his room and had changed into more comfortable clothes consisting of dark trousers and grey linen shirt, Cullen hurried out again towards the healer's cabin. The evening sun had just slowly disappeared behind the horizon when he lightly tapped on the door. His stomach in knots, Cullen waited for Adan's bearded face to appear in the window before the local healer cracked the door open. "Yes Commander?" He said in a hushed voice.

"I just came by to see how Leliana and Ellena are doing. Is there something I can help with?" Cullen shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Well Sister Nightingale will need some time to recover. I treated her wounds as best I can but what I am truly concerned about is her mind. I read the report and if what it says is true I fear the Envy demon might've been too much for her to fight." Adan finally fully opened the door and let the commander in.

"Although only time will tell. For now I would like to request one of the templars when they arrive to stand watch over her. Just to be sure her mind is still her own, if you know what I mean."

"She is far too strong willed to get possessed Adan." Cullen frowned with a nod. "But very well I will see what I can do. How is Ellena though?"

"The elf will be alright. She is exhausted but I suppose that is the toll the mark takes from her, aside from that I treated her injuries but she should heal fine. In fact I would not mind if you took her to her cabin right away as I could use the extra room to care for Sister Nightingale."

Cullen briefly thought about reprimanding the man for his casual dismissal of Ellena as "the elf" but in the end decided against it. "Very well I will take her. And Adan?" The Commander measured the man with rather hard glare before he stepped inside the cramped compartment of the cabin.

"Yes?"

"Do whatever it takes to get Leliana on her feet again. Anything you need, just ask for it."

"I will keep that in mind Commander." The apothecarian said before he turned his attention back to his potions.

Meanwhile Cullen made his way over to the two beds in the opposite corner. He briefly looked at Leliana and muttered silent prayer to the Maker and Andraste for her recovery. The spymaster looked feverish and he noticed beads of sweat glistening on her forehead. Afterwards his eyes focused on the other patient. Ellena layed motionless and still pale as a ghost under her blanket. Her face was clean now at least but Cullen still noticed a thick patch of bandages covering her right arm and shoulder and he had to fight hard against his own feelings of guilt.

 _She had saved me...again._ The ex-templar thought when he gently pulled the blanket under Ellena's chin and then carefully scouped her into his arms. He made sure her head rested against his shoulder but his mind already raced forward. The petite woman felt so small and light in his embrace and yet again Cullen felt that deep desire to protect her from harm.

_Well really good job so far...Andraste preserve me if this continues I will not be able to live with myself._

Together with Ellena still unconscious in his arms the commander walked through now busy town, down the stairs and towards the small cabin nestled under a tall pine tree. He realized that this was the first time he had set foot there since he had learned about Ellena's change of accommodation in favor of Vivienne's high comfort standarts and demands.

The cabin appeared dark and rather sad. There were no personal belongings anywhere and with a bit of sadness Cullen realized that Ellena owned nothing, except maybe the clothes she wore which were a gift from Inquisition. An idea was born in his mind then and he felt a soft smile tug at his lips as he thought it through, various scenarios already playing in his thoughts.

 _But first I need to get her to the bed._ The commander reminded himself and took few steps inside the little room and gently layed Ellena on her bed. He looked for a moment for a candle to get some light but there were none. Another thing Cullen added to his mental list of items he should get to make Ellena's living quarters a better place.

"Well that is done then." Cullen silently muttered for himself, his eyes still on the woman on the bed in front of him and for some odd reason he felt the back of his neck flush red. "Oh come on..." He chided himself. "So not only I am here nervous as a young boy but I also happen to talk to myself like some old woman. Brilliant." Cullen ran his right hand over his face and in the end decided to just sit down on a wooden chair next to the bed. He did not want to just leave her alone here, in the empty room. If she'd woken up he'd owed her at least an explanation and some reassurance. After a moment of hesitation Cullen looked around the room once more. Well waiting for her to wake up was one thing but he also needed something to pass a time with. It was right at that moment when a bit of light from the guard's torch outside illuminated a small table in the far away corner when Cullen had noticed a rather worn, small book laying on it.

A moral dilemma suddenly presented itself and the ex-templar shifted his gaze from the book to Ellena and to the book again. He knew that the it might be something private, but then again he battled with his feelings for this frail elven woman long enough to admit to himself that he had longed to know more about her. Anything would do even if the book proved to be a collection of old tevinter cooking recipes.

After around ten minutes of a silent inner war and several glances exchanged from his resting company to the table Cullen finally came to a decision. He silently rose up from the chair and slowly, crossed the room towards the corner. First glance at the book revealed nothing except that the leather crafted covers were dark and worn with frequent use. His hand reached almost on its own for the curious looking volume and picked it up lightly and with another quick glance towards the bed he opened it on the first page.

And Cullen felt his breath stuck in his throat as he browsed through page after page. It looked like a sort of diary. Each sheet of paper was covered with elegant, thin and neat handwriting. He had no idea what was written there as the language was probably Tevinter, although he was not really sure. The sentences and small paragraphs covered every empty piece of each page and where there were none there were beautiful drawings of buildings, animals and people.

The commander gently closed the thin volume and returned it to its place on the table before he resumed his seat next to Ellena's bed. Somehow this woman managed to touch him even through such a small thing as that book. As the evening proceeded Cullen had to fight with few yawns. He shifted slightly on the chair and busied himself with staring at the wooden boards which formed the cabin's floor. The tiredness and longing for his own bed brought another matter to the ex-templar's mind. His gaze shifted to Ellena once more as he mused when was the last time she ate anything.

 _When this blows over I should make sure we have dinner together._ He heard his own voice say those thoughts in his mind before he noticed a stray strand of hair which fell over Ellena's forehead and without thinking Cullen gently brushed it off and let the palm of his hand gently coup the side of her face. Her skin felt warm and soft under his fingers and each stroke of his thumb which ran across that smooth, velvety skin had sent shivers down his spine. His morale screamed at him that this was wrong. She was not conscious and he had no right to do this. But the excited tingling slowly spread from his back to his chest and Cullen felt inconceivably drawn to Ellena's half parted lips.

_Just one kiss. Nothing more. I just want to know if she feels the same as the last time at the lake._

Similar excuses rushed through his head as the commander leaned closer. Ellena looked so peaceful now. Some colour had returned to her face and he noticed the tiniest flutter of her long eyelashes. Her hair was slightly matted and she still carried over her the scent of the templar fortress. Prayer incense mixed with rain and familiar metallic hint of lyrium.

Cullen felt his cheeks flush and his heartbeat sped up as he studied her so closely. Her half parted lips looked almost like an invitation and he watched her chest slowly rise and fall with calm breaths. Just as he was about to win his moral back from the desire which sought to take control of him, Ellena shifted slightly underneath him and a barely audible sigh escaped her lips. That was the last straw which nudged Cullen forward. The ex-templar leaned in and closed the remaining distance between them. He felt his lips crush against hers, the warmth burned him like a hot iron and he felt insatiable desire burst aflame inside of his body.

Never before in his whole life had Cullen desired someone as badly as he desired Ellena now. He wanted to hold her tightly in his arms. To discover every inch of her skin. He craved to drown in the taste of her lips and at that moment, everything else could be damned. With mind enveloped by thick fog of desire and lust the ex-templar slid from the chair and found a new spot on the bed next to her. His hands moved with the will of their own as his right grabbed the blanket and threw it aside, the other meanwhile ran over her hair and down along her neck.

Cullen pulled out form the kiss, it left him panting slightly and after he looked down on Ellena's face he noticed a light pink flush spread over her cheeks. This prompted him more. His fingers trailed over the lines of her golden tattoos and just as before he was left wondering about just how far the design goes across her body. It took him only a moment to give in to his fascination and he leaned in again, this time following the intricate, golden lines with his lips in a series of light kisses. Down over her jaw, along the elegant line of her neck and over her right collar bone.

The fabric of her dress stopped him and the commander was reminded of his morale and the wrongness of his doings again. But just as before the thoughts were ultimately banished form his mind and with nothing else than throbbing dark desire pulsating through his whole body he unceremoniously ripped the top of Ellena's dress apart and with a small smirk continued his wet trail of kisses down between her breasts before his lips closed over the slight darkness of her right nipple with one hungry sigh

His tongue lapped over the slowly hardening circle of skin and soon enough he coaxed a soft moan from Ellena's lips. That sound wiped away any remaining restrain from Cullen's mind and he eagerly let his hands trail over the elf's stomach. Her form felt firm and Cullen groaned in appreciation when he found out how well her body fit into his hands. Without further thought he destroyed rest of the dress, revealing only remaining obstacle which divided him from sating his immediate desire. With another smirk he abandoned his play with Ellena's breast and after several wet kisses down her belly his lips stopped at the edge of her smallclothes.

"Cullen?"

The voice brought Cullen from the world of dreams back to reality with one shocked jerk of his body. He felt his cheeks burn as he blinked several times and quickly looked towards the bed. To his immense relief he spotted Ellena still under her blanket, with clothes intact, her large green and now slightly glazed eyes were looking at him with that confused expression he knew all too well.

"Shh I am here. We are back at Haven. You were hurt but you will be alright." Cullen blurted out all at once. He felt the flush from his cheeks spread over the back of his neck and tried without success to banish the vivid images of the dream from his mind.

 _I must have dozed off._ The commander realized with a healthy dose of shame.

"How are you feeling?" He asked instead, for he was indeed curious and also he wanted the heavy silence which had appeared between them to go away.

"Tired and I am not really sure what has happened." Ellena replied and he noticed her eyes which darted between his face and the floor.

"You've sent the Envy demon back to the Fade with your mark. Before that, it almost overpowered us all. You saved everyone." Cullen smiled at her fondly and when she smiled back he swallowed part of his shyness and gently swept the stray strand of hair from her forehead.

"I remember the fight...Leliana...she...did she die?" Ellena suddenly asked and tried to sit up which resulted in a low groan from her lips as she collapsed back onto the bed.

"Hey, take it easy. Leliana will be alright. Adan and Mother Giselle are taking care of her. We also have the remaining templars as our allies, they will help us close the breach when you get better."

They exchanged few more looks but the silence again swallowed the room and as the evening progressed into the night the little cabin drowned in the increasing thickness of dark shadows.

"Wait here, I will fetch a few things." Cullen finally found his voice again and on swift feet left the room. The cold night air swept over his burning cheeks and the commander let out a small sigh of relief.

 _What the in the Maker's name is wrong with me?_ He had never ever had such a vivid dream about someone before.

"Cold shower it is tonight." He muttered under his breath silently as he made his way towards his own quarters to fetch some candles, food and water.

* * *

Leliana had opened another door, so far this place offered nothing of interest and she grew increasingly restless from the lack of things to focus on, to keep her mind occupied and her hands busy. She hated idle flow of time without having anything to do. This time the display which revealed before her left her frozen in place and the sharp breath she drew in stuck in the middle of her troat.

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise and her mind worked over time as she tried to come to terms with what was happening in the little, shaded room illuminated only with several flicking candles. There was no mistake that the woman in the room was Neria. She stood there, grinning with that mad mask reflecting her hunger for power, the sword she held in her hand had been already coated in blood.

Leliana let out a small gasp as the familiar scene unraveled before her. She knew what will happen next even before she looked at the second woman who stumbled against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor, leaving the rough stone behind her marked with long trail of her own blood. The spymaster angrily dug her fingernails into the wooden frame of the door she stood in and her eyes connected for a brief moment with the green eyes of the dying woman. _Her own eyes, albeit younger._ They exchanged one look. Ten or so years parted the two women but she could still recognize the pain of betrayal reflecting on the face of her dying younger self.

Yes Neria, her lover and at that time the only person whom she had ever truly trusted, stomped on that trust and her feelings and murdered her in cold blood, only to poison the Sacred Ashes.

_"You envy Neria her power don't you. If you could, you would wish to be as strong as her. You could have avenged yourself if you were stronger."_

A hissing voice suddenly breathed the words against her ear. Leliana felt a hot breath tickle her at the back of her neck but when she turned around to see who else was there, only emptiness of endless corridors greeted her.

"No, I don't care for what power Neria might have had." Leliana said finally. More to herself than to whoever had talked to her before.

"Is that so?" Neria suddenly turned her head towards still confused spymaster and smiled, in that beautiful, heartbreaking smile of hers. "So, there is nothing at all which bothers you about what has happened?"

"Not at all." Leliana crossed her arms over her chest. She had suspected a demon was at a work here. Even though her mind felt sluggish and slow from the wounds she had suffered she was now more than sure that someone from the Fade was trying to mess with her mind. But she could not point her finger on which kind of the demon it was, yet.

"I see, then how about this?" The fake image of Neria before her suddenly shimmered in lightly green light before the whole scene shifted. They were in the Winter Palace now. Nobles danced and talked along the walls and Leliana turned around a few times just to get a better look at the place. The palace looked different. She could not identify exactly what it was that made it feel so alien from how she had remembered the place before she realized that no one here wore the otherwise obligatory masks.

"Leliana, darling. Play us one of your songs." A soft voice echoed just behind her and she spun on her heel only to face Marjolaine who regarded her with a smile and an outstretched hand.

"No..this is not real." Leliana stumbled backwards, she felt her whole body grow cold as a terrible fear sunk to her stomach. _Marjolaine was dead, she had killed her with her own hands._

"Is it not? Were you not jealous of the freedom I possessed? Of my skills and connections?" Marjolaine purred as she closed the distance between Leliana and herself. "Did you not desire the same amount of influence as I used to have? To send assassins after people you needed gone or who have irritated you?"

"No...I am not like you Marjolaine." Leliana finally regained some of her composture but the presence of yet another woman who she had thought at one time to be her lover and who betrayed her same as Neria did, deeply shook her confidence.

"Are you not? And what do you do now, you command the net of spies, you kill people who stand in your way and you keep telling to yourself that it is because of a greater good. But I do wonder my darling, just how much good there really is in you. Perhaps you desire the Inquisition for yourself?"

"That is not my goal. I serve the Divine!" The spymaster retorted with anger but the previous words already found their way to her heart and a deep seed of doubt was planted there.

"Tsk tsk, you serve to someone again. My precious little Nightingale it is time for you to spread your wings. You should have others serve you. After all you are so much better than those who pretend to command your hand." Marjolaine took the last step which separated them and the familiar scent enveloped Leliana's senses. She had felt so alone. Everytime she had given her trust to someone, they abused it and then turned on her.

 _Perhaps Marjolaine was right. Who were the people who ran the Inquisition._ Cullen, a broken ex-templar who seemed too haunted by his own past to actually take control of his future. Then there was Cassandra. Too devoted, too hot headed. A glorified thug in the service of the Chantry. None of them had the qualities, the finesse or brains that could match her own.

"See ma chérie? You are so much better than them. But there is another person, someone who bears more power than you can have, someone who does not deserve it at all, am I right?" Marjolaine whispered and Leliana felt the burning lips of her former lover trail down her neck. A wave of heat emitted from her chest and she vaguely remembered that a wound from the previous battle was still there.

"Ellena?" The spymaster whispered, her voice strained with a soft moan as she felt the heat mix with excitement and a rush of fire ran down to her core.

"Indeed. The little slave who bears the mark. Why should she have this power. She is nothing, nobody compared to you ma chérie. But then again she looks a bit like Neria, doesn't she?" Leliana almost stumbled over her own feet when the soft and nimble fingers slowly slipped under her shirt and her mind clouded over as she felt erratic breaths escape her lips.

"Tell me, what is it that you would like to do to her, shouldn't she be punished for her behavior?"

The whole room shifted again and Leliana felt a pang of loneliness when Marjolaine had disappeared with it. She now stood in the middle of the dungeon under the Haven's chantry. She noticed Cullen who sat broken in one of the cells but before she could react to any of the things she saw a sound of heavy boots echoed from the stone walls and interrupted the silence.

"We have her Inquisitor." One of the guards which appeared behind her said with a polite bow of his head and it took Leliana a moment to realize that he was talking to her.

"Who do you have?" The spymaster asked finally and felt her lips curl into a smile. _Inquisitor indeed had a good ring to it._

"The slave, she tried to run from Haven but we caught up with her in the mountains. Should I bring her in?" The guard waited for his orders and after he saw Leliana's nod of agreement he saluted and waved at his colleagues who drew half conscious Ellena into the room and tossed her onto the stone floor.

 _"Well well, time to show this little snake who is the one here who can bite, don't you think?"_ That hissing voice echoed in her head again but with it a rush of mixed emotions surged forward.

 _This was wrong. She was nothing like this. It was the demon's play._ But before she could put her thoughts into any resistance a warmth spreaded from her chest. Leliana looked down and saw red crystals grow from the wound. They echoed through her whole being and that same distorted melody erupted inside her mind once more.

"Leliana, what are you doing?" That was Cullen's voice which interrupted her thoughts this time and the spymaster regarded him with one look of contempt before she turned her cold eyes towards the elf huddled on the floor.

"I will show you what will happen to those who do not obey me and the Iquisition. I know that this slave would seek to betray us all later. But I have learned a valuable lesson once. Never delay the inevitable. If you can strike, strike." Leliana felt a smile spread over her lips and the less she had fought against her thoughts, the better she felt. _Yes this must be the right thing to do._

"Captain, have your men strip the prisoner, tie her to the table over there, face down and have someone heat up cobble stones in the fire."

Leliana watched with amusement as Ellena squirmed on the floor when the two guards walked over and proceeded to drag her towards the table in the far corner and the sight of them roughly yank the clothes from her prisoner had sent pleasurable shiver down her spine and an idea was born in her mind.

"I know what we can do while we wait for the stones to be ready. I know how much you cherish your looks. You think you are pretty right?" A surge of jealousy which still felt alien and new to her had invaded Leliana's heart as she regarded the girl before her. The elf was indeed pretty, with her bronze skin, the tattoos, the long, dark hair. _Well she will be just a wreck when I am done with her._ Leliana slowly walked over to the small stand next to the table and took hold of a shaving razor which layed there amongst other various instruments of pain.

"Leliana, stop this nonsense. Have you gone completely mad?" Cullen yelled at her desperately as she took hold of Ellena's strong hair and few cuts with the razor later she watched the dark mass cascade to the ground where it layed in scattered long locks. "Leliana!" Cullen cried again, this time his voice sounded less angry and more pleading.

"Oh no, you will watch, everything I will do with her. Because it was your fault. You tried to medle and make this slave into something she was not, now you will watch as I will break her completely. I should have had this power!" Leliana spat towards the ex-templar and with a new surge of anger and envy her hand roughly and without any ounce of care shaved Ellena's head bald.

"If you won't stop moving I will shave your eyebrows too, and trust me I will not be as gentle with them as I was with your head." A loud slap echoed through the room when Leliana's hand connected with Ellena's cheek and to her satisfaction she saw the girl go limp with fear.

 _"You do such a good job my pet. Just a little bit more and you can have everything which was taken from you before. Just let me in, show me who you are. I need to see more of you._ " The hissing sounded lauder this time and to her surprise Leliana realized that she had spoken those words aloud. Well it did not matter. The words were true. She wanted everything which others took from her. Her youth, her future, her freedom, her innocence.

"I wonder if you will still like the slave when I turn her completely useless. You know that there is a very nice way how to cripple someone? I will show you in just a few moments, but, let me explain first. I think that Ellena should know what will happen to her." The spymaster purred as she walked over to the far end of the table and lightly tiptoed her fingers across Ellena's thigh and towards the back of her left knee.

"You see, bones are not as strong as they might appear. Take for an example a large enough cobble stone which can fit under her knee. Heatet until it is white and tied in place as I bend her leg over it. It will sear its way through her flesh and when it does her joint will shatter into pieces. Brilliant, no?" Leliana laughed with a joy she hadn't felt for years and turned her gaze towards Cullen who clutched the bars of his cell until his knuckles turned white.

"Leliana, please. Stop this thing. This is not like you. I know you and you would have never done something like that." The former commander of the Inquisition pleaded but his words were banished by the song and the hissing voice in her mind. The song which started as annoying, odd and disharmonic now brought strange comfort and pleasure to the spymaster. With one fluid motion of her hand she unclasped a stiletto dagger from her belt and threw it idly at Cullen. The weapon buried deep into his shoulder and left him bleeding and slumped against the bars of his cell.

"The stones are ready Inquisitor." One of the guards announced from the door.

"Very well, bring it in, we can continue." Leliana leaned towards Ellena's ear lightly and noticed the tears of panic stream down the elf's face. "Shhh this is for your own good you know. We cannot have slaves act all mighty, that will just not do. The order of the world simply does not work that way." The spymaster pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched the guard drag in medium sized cobble stone between the iron pliers.

"Put that stone over the back of her left knee and then bend her leg over it, make sure it is fastened in the place, I don't want our lecture to go to waste should she trash too much." Leliana ordered the guard who only nodded and walked over to Ellena with swift steps.

The display proved as even a greater satisfaction than Leliana had hoped. The moment the red hot stone connected with Ellena's leg she heard a blood freezing cry of pain and the smell of burned flesh filled the room. The elf trashed across the table when they bend her leg over the stone and fastened it in the place with a rope. It was even more delightful to watch Cullen's reaction. The large templar looked ready to break through the bars in order to rush and help his pitiful slave. But the dagger in his shoulder left him in sobs on the floor. His cheeks were streaked with tears of anger and pain and he cursed Leliana over and over again. But the spymaster hardly listened. Her focus was back on Ellena who seemed on the verge of fainting from the pain.

"Kick the stone free." Leliana ordered the guard who did as she had asked. They untied the elf's leg and as the stone rolled out it took with it large chunks of burned flesh and left behind large and seared gaping hole and a swollen and shattered knee. At the same time Cullen finally fell on the ground, his head lolled to the side and his opened eyes looked empty and dull to the ceiling. With his death Leliana suddenly felt freed from any previous morale struggles which were still left in her heart. And the song which rang through her whole being reached its powerful crescendo.

 _"Good work my pet. I think you are more than ready.."_ The hiss interrupted Ellena's faint sobs and Leliana felt two large claw-like hands grasp her shoulders.

The cells, guards, Cullen and Ellena all disappeared and the room shifted once more. She stood at the courtyard of Therinfal Redoubt. The rain poured over her face and the pain in her chest and shoulder returned.

"No! How did you do it? I had you. All of you." Only now Leliana noticed the monstrous face of the Envy demon which hovered mere inches from her own and growled and spat its words to her face. "You are odd. You do not feel like others. It is the song. What is it?" The demon cried in utter despair and Leliana felt the weight of it's claws disappear from her shoulders.

_The song...what did it mean? Oh of course. I died. Neria killed me. The lyrium...it was not Andraste but the lyrium brought me back. But now...the red crystals...  
_

The spymaster had no idea what the sudden revelation meant but the demon did not give her much time for thought. It shifted on its long legs before it dove forward and buried it's claws deep into her stomach.

"If I cannot have you, no one will. I will find someone else. But you will die here, alone." It howled it's words in utter rage before Leliana's face when a sudden cacophony of noises burst all around them. Cries of anger and panic, swords clashed and spells sizzled around her. The demon let out one horrific shriek before it's claws yanked out from her and Leliana felt her legs gave up under her and as she fell to the rain stained ground she saw Cullen, Cassandra and others rush past her and all have launched themselves at the monster.

But the spymaster cared for one thing only. _She had failed._ The vivid images of what has happened before when the demon revealed her true nature haunted her mind. There was no excuse for what she did. It did not matter that all that has happened, was a delusional figment of her mind corrupted by the efforts of the Envy demon. She had truly wished for those things to come to pass. And Leliana rolled over onto her back and stared into the stormy skies. _How could she continue now_. The disharmonic song once more filled her ears but this time she willed herself to listen to it. It must have been the song of the lyrium. But it sounded wrong and yet she wanted to listen, to understand. It spoke to her. Of someone. Of someone who commanded. _The Leader_. _Corypheus_. Was the last thought in her mind before she had felt herself slip into the embracing darkness.

Two days had passed since, when Leliana woke up at last in Haven again.

* * *

Updated: 20.3.2016


	9. Where sacrifice is made

_**AN:** Gah, so sorry for a late update, the Chrismas proved to be more hectic than I have anticipated and I was left utterly exhausted. But I am back now so I should be able to post in my usual speed from now on. Yay ＼（＾▽＾）／ _

_And of course thank you all wonderful readers for your support, reviews and likes! You folks make me insanely happy._

* * *

The first of the Templars who have agreed to help the Inquisition arrived to Haven the next day. Ellena saw them trailing in through the large wooden gate as they were given temporary accommodations and later on when they visited the local inn. It had seemed that even the weather changed its mind and instead of snow and rain Haven was greeted with a sunny morning. And Ellena's mood soared. It felt as if the sun could recharge her energy and even though the wounds still hurt she was able to sit quite comfortably on her bed and let herself bask in the golden rays of the morning sunshine. As her eyes darted for a moment across the space of the cabin Ellena noticed that there were several new candlesticks on the nightstand next to the bed and on the table in the corner as well as a new, thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a comfortable fur cloak which hung from the peg next to the door. All this had been a curtesy of Cullen.

Last night after she woke up he dashed out in a hurry only to return several moments later with armful of things and proclaimed all this was for her. This baffled her still. According to the letter she'd received from home Ellena was supposed to serve Leliana, yet Cullen seemed to try and spend time in her company and now he gave her gifts and wanted nothing for it in return. And a little doubt grew in her mind she mused over the words Leliana had told her before. Yes she should have kept her distance from Cullen. Should have obeyed like a good slave would have but somehow the time Ellena had spent here with people like Varric, Cassandra or even Solas had shown her that perhaps she could move on from the past. That she could try and approach things differently.

And then there were the dreams. Ellena could remember her life before Minrathous with better clarity now than ever before. And she came to realize that she haven't been always who she was now. That there was a time albeit brief when she felt like a person and she desperately tried to remember as much as she could about the years when she was not just a merchandise.

Ellena felt another headache form at the front of her head so she banished these worries for later and focused on other more pressing things. One of them was testing the extent of her injuries and to see if she could move freely around. After only a few stretches here and there the former slave concluded that as long as she kept her arm in the sling and avoided anything too exhausting she should be fine. It was at that moment when Ellena looked at the palm of her left hand. Right now the mark was more or less invisible but the knowledge of it still left her with uneasy feeling in the heart.

The moment when they will ask her to close the breach for good was getting nearer and nearer with each Templar that had arrived to Haven and she was dreading it. Ellena forced herself to look at the whole matter with as much detachment as she could muster but the outcomes were certainly not in her favour. For one whenever before she had tried to close the smaller rifts it left her exhausted afterwards. To add to it the first time she had actually fought with the Breach it had left her out cold. And this proved that her conclusion was probably correct. She will most likely die while closing the Breach.

This was not the first time that a thought like that crossed her mind but now when the imminent demise seemed so forebodingly close Ellena started to have second thoughts about the whole ordeal. What if she simply packed some supplies and ran away for it. No one was keeping an eye on her anymore and Leliana was still out cold. But then again she had no place to go to and from the conversations she overheard about the Breach Ellena gathered that unless it was stopped the whole world might be in danger.

"I suppose there is no escape from this now." The elf muttered the words for herself silently just as a soft knock on the door brought her from the musings.

"Ellena are you there?" Cassandra's voice sounded a bit muffled by the door and the fear and worries the former slave had just formulated into thoughts a moment ago sank into her stomach. If the Seeker was here it meant they will most likely set out for the Breach soon. Too soon for her own comfort.

"I am, yes." Was the reply and Ellena took one deep breath to calm herself down. Perhaps dying to the Breach might not be that bad. Some say that everyone would meet with the Maker and those who had departed before. And if that was the truth then perhaps her family was there, waiting for her. The small creak of the door forced her to look up from her knees and she was met with Cassandra's brown eyes, though this time instead of the usual hardened glare of a soldier the human woman seemed more friendly and kind.

"How are you feeling?" Seeker's voice sounded rather concerned as she made her way towards the bed and slowly sat down. Ellena also noticed that this was probably the first time when Cassandra was not clad in her usual battle attire but rather wore a pair of comfortable black trousers and a white shirt with slightly worn leather vest clad over it. When the elf failed to answer Cassandra probably took it as a sign of discomfort and with a small sigh continued. "I am aware how you must feel in my presence. Our first encounter had been less than pleasant. I would like to apologize for it."

"You...you don't have to apologize. I mean...not on my behalf..." Ellena stuttered slightly and felt a pink blush creep up to her cheeks and flush down across the back of her neck. Cassandra's words left the former slave quite confused but also pleased. It felt good that she was not angry with her anymore. _Perhaps today will not be such a bad day after all._ As if Cassandra could read her thoughts she smiled briefly at the elf before she continued.

"I would also like to thank you. Your actions saved us all in Therinfal and it made me realize just how strenuous it must be to use that mark on your hand." The Seeker paused for a moment and studied Ellena's face before she drew another breath and continued. "We will set out to close The Breach today. I am not quite sure how you feel about it but I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make sure we succeed and you will stay safe."

Such confession left her speechless for a moment. Again Ellena was reminded of just how different people here were towards her than people in Minrathous and she could not help but smile. It felt good that after all these years there were others who she could rely upon and who would offer their help and protection to her. The last time she ever felt like this was probably before her sisters were gone. Afterwards she was alone with all the burdens and fears.

"Thank you. I...I am really grateful for your concerns." The elf managed to say and hoped that her voice did not sound as shaky as she herself felt.

"Well then.." Cassandra nodded and her face again reflected the usual busy expression although this time Ellena noticed that the brown eyes were not looking at her so hardly and she felt much more comfortable in the presence of the Seeker.

"When you are ready please come and meet us in the war room in the Chantry and make sure you wear something warm, it is sunny outside but the wind is quite chilling and I have a feeling that there might come a blizzard later today."

"I will."

With that said Cassandra stood up and left the cabin and Ellena moved on to pack her things. Despite Cassandra's words she still saw the future as less than optimistic and wanted to have what little she owned with her when the confrontation with the Breach comes. With a quick scan over the room Ellena slowly slid down from the bed and moved on to try and garb her leather garments on. The task proved more difficult then she anticipated since she could only use one hand properly but after a brief battle and few curses the elf managed to get herself dressed more or less presentably. What remained was her diary. She pocketed the small book into the inner pocket of her jacket and then fetched the coin Cullen gave her before and which she usually kept under the pillow when in Haven. As she looked at the smooth silvery surface of the token and at the serene face of Andraste the tight knot of the fear around her stomach seemed to loosen up a bit.

With one last glance around the place Ellena grabbed the fur coat from the peg on the wall and snugged into it before she left the cabin behind and hurried towards the Chantry. Her thoughts on the matter shifted slightly after the brief talk with Cassandra. No matter what happens, the Breach had to be closed. Her fate was still uncertain but she allowed herself the hope that Cassandra and Cullen would be true to their words and would do all they could to help her get through this ordeal. And when Ellena realized all this she felt her stride hasten. There was no point in delaying this and the sooner they all are done the sooner she could focus on other things.

The climb on top of the mountain and to the remains of the Temple of Sacred Ashes felt like a blur to her. As much as she had tried to reason with herself about the motives and outcomes of this journey Ellena felt fear tighten around her heart and stomach with each step she took forward. True to Cassandra's earlier words the skies darkened and a bitter, cold wind blew from the mountain tops around them all. Soon the idle chat of her companions, the Templars and soldiers who trailed behind died out and they all concentrated on moving forward and keeping themselves as warm as possible.

Too soon did the blackened and sad remains of the Temple greeted them. The place looked slightly better than during their last visit and Ellena noticed that the scorched corpses and bones were removed. Probably an honorable effort of the Inquisition in assuring proper burial for the poor victims of the explosion. As she looked over the seared ground the odd warmth which had seemed to seep into the air from the large red lyrium clusters welcomed them. The sight of this place made Ellena wonder about one more thing. _Should she perish here, what would the Inquisition do with her body?_ She had a hunch that they would probably burn her remains and scatter the ashes somewhere but that prospect did little to ease her racing heart and she felt crippling fear shake though her whole body. _At least she could pretend that the shaking was from the cold._

A familiar heavy hand suddenly squeezed her shoulder and Ellena turned to look into Cullen's face. She did not even realize he was this close to her.

"Are you alright Ellena? You are shaking." The Commander asked and she saw those same fears and questions which she had, reflect in his own eyes as he looked down at the elf in front of him. "I will be here, it will be alright." Were the last words Ellena heard from him before Cassandra's hand somewhat forcefully grabbed her uninjured arm and nudged her forward and down the stairs.

"Cullen I..." Ellena paused as there were so many things she suddenly wanted to tell this man. She wanted to tell him that she had wished they've had more time left. That she wished for him to come down towards the Breach with her. That she was scared and wanted him to kiss her one last time. But as she was half dragged away from him and the Templars assumed their place behind, Ellena only heard herself say the most ridiculous thing of all the things she could have possibly said. "I will talk to you later." Her voice carried across the courtyard and she prayed that Cullen heard her because the wind seemed to silence all the other sounds except its ominous howling.

Ellena could only barely remember what had happened the last time they were here, the events scarcely a faint memory although now that her eyes focused at the shimmering Breach and she took in its immense proportions compared to the rifts they have dealt with so far, she felt small and weak. The green crystal-like structure hung in the mid air and spun flares of jade light all around the. As if in response to it, her mark suddenly flared too and she felt sharp stab of pain rip through her arm. It felt as if someone had pierced it with thousand needles.

"Templars! Focus on the Breach, use your abilities to weaken it!" Cullen's voice carried to her as if filtered through deep water but Ellena knew what she had to do. The mark on her hand was flaring angrily ever so high and she took the first few steps forward. The Breach and the mark connected at last and the sudden blaze of energy sent ripples through her whole body. But she pressed on. Each step she took towards the green rift in front of her took all of her strength.

"Just...one more.." Ellena gritted her teeth and kept going. Finally she could hear the familiar song from the Breach. It engulfed her and with it the emerald light flashed all around the courtyard. _If I am going to die here, at least I will die for something good._ One more step. The Breach resisted her attempt but she continued with the struggle. _At least I will be a bit more than a merchandise!_ Ellena looked up angrily at the Breach and with the remaining strength pushed her arm forward. The pulsating light connected from her hand to the rift and the glow blazed even stronger. _I will get this done!_

And with that last thought she felt all the fear of dying disappear and focused all the will she could muster on closing this abominable tear between her world and the Fade and banishing it to the oblivion once and for all. At last Ellena felt the whole pressure around her shatter and with one last dying flare of the green light the Breach expanded and then disappeared into a thin air. The force of its ultimate destruction propelled her backwards and she braced herself for a hard impact with the ground. But instead her body landed into a soft embrace and she knew it was Cullen even before she opened her eyes. She could feel his arms tighten around her and the familiar scent of "her Templar" made her wish to drown in that embrace forever. _Her Templar._ The words had such a nice ring to it. Cheers and shouts erupted around the a moment later everyone present celebrated that the Breach was finally gone.

"You did it!" Ellena could hear Cassandra say somewhere behind her but for now all she could focus on was Cullen. The hug they shared told her that despite his previous assurance about her safety he had not been so sure himself. Not until now. Cassandra organized everyone and then ordered the hugging pair to return to Haven. Soon enough Ellena felt the exhaustion from closing the Breach spread through her whole body but without even having to say a word Cullen gently lifted her in his arms, and with a look which challenged anyone who would possibly object, he carried her all the way down into the town.

"You should eat more, you barely weight anything." Cullen smiled at the elf in his arms from above and Ellena nestled herself closer into his furry cloak.

"Perhaps we can see to it tonight over dinner?" She smiled and prayed that the nervous flush she felt spread through her stomach would not reflect as a blush on her cheeks. Somehow when she battled with the Breach Ellena decided to try and be a bit more confident when talking with others. At least with Cullen, Cassandra and Varric. After all they decided to treat her as their equal so she vowed to give it her best try.

"That...that would be nice." Cullen's voice resonated through his chest and when Ellena detected a hint of nervousness between his words she had to smile even more. At least it was not just be her who was nervous here.

* * *

The apothecary's cabin was dark, save for one candlestick, when Leliana woke up. It took the spymaster few moments to gather her thoughts and realize her whereabouts. She could vaguely remember the events of the previous days and with a sudden realization her hand shot up to her chest and stomach.

 _So it was true then_. Were the first thoughts which had crossed her mind after she discovered a thick layer of bandages wrapped tightly around her torso. Only a brief moment later Leliana realized she was not alone in the room. Adan was busy with his potions at his work table but she focused more at the man who stood guard at her bed. _One of the Templars? But why here?_

"Master Adan, I think your patient is awake." The templar said in a low and somber voice of someone who was not thrilled with the nature of his assignment.

"Sister Nightingale, how are you feeling?" Adan asked and walked over to see to his patient.

"Not one of my best days but I've had worse. Just give me the overview of my situation." Leliana answered and heard her voice sound rather weak and hoarse.

"You have sustained quite serious injuries. Arrow to the shoulder a wound which looks like it had been caused by claws in your stomach and a stab wound of sorts at your chest. I have treated all to my best knowledge and with the potions and salves you seem to be healing quite fast." The Apothecarian said in his usual detached voice and Leliana noticed a small steaming cup in his hand.

"Very well, do you have any update on what is the situation with our cause?" The Spymaster finally asked after a small pause. She tried to wrap her head around the situation. Things must have gone well if she was here and judging by the Templar who was present, the negotiations yielded them the necessary reinforcements.

"How long have I been out?"

"Almost two days. As for the situation what I know is that the Inquisition joined forces with the Templars. They arrived to Haven with their main force yesterday. Right now, Commander and Lady Seeker are with them at the Temple of the Sacred Ashes. They are trying to close the Breach for good." Adan recounted the events before he pushed the cup towards Leliana who regarded him with a raised eyebrow.

"Please, do not give me this look Sister Nightingale. This is merely a strengthening draught. It should help you get on your feet, although I cannot vouch for the taste." The man grinned slightly as he watched his patient down the potion in one go andLeliana's face turned into a mask of disgust.

"Honestly, this tastes like kissing a wrong end of a nug." The spymaster shook her head slightly in vain attempt to banish the tangy aroma from her tongue.

"Ser Reid, I do not think we will need your services here anymore. Thank you for your vigil though." Adan turned to the silent Templar who stood still as a mute statue, his eyes never leaving Leliana.

"As you wish." Was all the large man had said before he exited the cabin and left Leliana wondering about the purpose of his presence.

"Now, Sister Nightingale I would like to ask you about that wound on your chest. I have treated it as best as I could but for the love of the Maker I cannot figure out what caused it and it seems to be still infected to some degree."

Leliana felt the grip of her fingers tighten around the empty cup and her mind already worked fast to come up with some explanation. Under no circumstance could she reveal the true nature of her injury. That much was obvious. If she had done that, they would have locked her up somewhere as a potential threat and that was simply something she could not afford to happen. _Not now._

"Right, pardon me Adan but who else saw to my treatment?" The spymaster asked casually making sure her face betrayed none of her thoughts on the matter.

"Mother Giselle stopped by a few times, she helped me with mixing the salve and stitched up the claw wounds. But before I could confide in her with my bafflement at your other injury she had to leave to help with tending to refugees in Redcliff." Adan replied and with a sigh sat himself down on a rickety chair next to the bed where Leliana had been resting until now.

Leliana knew this was risky but she had no other choice. Slowly she came to one and only conclusion on this matter. The Apothecarian had to be removed. She could always announce his disappearance to Josephine and have her hire someone new under a pretense that Adan decided to pursue his other interests outside the Inquisition. It was not uncommon after all. And with this decision firmly in mind the spymaster lashed out in one fluid movement. Ignoring her wounds and the painful protest her weak muscles gave her she reached out and smashed the cup over Adan's head before she toppled him from the chair and with one well measured blow of her fist against his temple sent him to the land of dreams.

The small town of Haven burst to life with cheers and shouts just as Leliana tied up the last loop of the rope around Adan's unconscious body and with some effort pushed him under the bed. _I will deal with him later._ For now the spymaster rummaged through the potion stock in the room until she found two healing potions. Yes Leliana was aware of the side effects of overusing the potions but right now she needed all the strength she could muster and if that meant dealing with headaches and having her stomach turned inside out later, then so be it.

It took her around ten minutes to get dressed in her usual equipment and to hide the bandages which she untied from her wounds. The crystals had spread somewhat but oddly enough the sight of the chest wound did not leave Leliana with worry. Instead she felt rather good. Stronger and faster and her vision had a new sense of clarity to it. _Well perhaps the Templars in Therinfal knew what they were doing, they just overdid it all at once._ The spymaster mused during her treck from the Apothecarian's cabin towards the Chantry.

The previous cheers and shouts revealed to be the reaction to the return of The Inquisition form the Temple and their ultimate success at closing the Breach but Leliana had other things to attend to. That melody which had resonated through her mind before was nudging at the edges of her consciousness even now. But now there was a different urgency to it. It seemed that the song of lyrium tried to speak to her but to her great frustration she had no idea what it wanted. Only this persistent feeling that something or someone was coming.

* * *

The attack on Haven came suddenly and with a deadly accuracy. Just as almost everyone around danced and celebrated the fires engulfed the forward camps and dozens of the Inquisition's soldiers lost their lives under the elemental attacks of the marching mages. Ellena was just enjoying few drinks with Varric and Solas when the loud blows resonated against the palisade gate and moments later she saw Cullen and Cassandra rush forward with Templars and soldiers on their heels.

"I'll be damned. Bianca I think it's time for us to shine again!" Varric shouted and with a nod towards Solas sprinted after others to join in the fight with whoever it was that was attacking.

That left the elf alone and she had no idea what to do. What can one possibly do during the attack on the whole town? Ellena looked around frantically and noticed that the red glow suddenly appeared behind the wall. The fires were close. Everyone was running to man the walls or the large catapults which stood on the little hill above Haven.

"Ellena! Find Leliana and stay in the Chantry. I will get to you once we get this under control." Cullen called out to her and without giving it a second thought she nodded and dashed up towards the stone building. It seemed that she was not the only one who sought refuge in Chantry's stone walls. Many of the town's people were already massing before the door and she saw glimpse of Vivienne who was helping them in.

"You, what do you want in here?" A hand as strong as iron suddenly grasped her shoulder and Ellena turned around only to look Leliana directly in the face. The spymaster looked paler than usual with dark rings under her eyes which were oddly bloodshot. But she seemed recovered enough at least which gave Ellena some hope.

"Cullen told me to find you...I am not sure what to do now."

"Just stay in my tent until we find out what is going on. You are not useful for anything else during the fight anyway." Leliana pushed the elf backwards under the cover of her makeshift headquarters before she hastily walked away. _Well she was right_. Ellena thought. _What could she possibly do during a fight like this. Unless it is demons who are attacking, then maybe she could do some good_. But when she looked down at the mark it was invisible which probably meant that whichever force was upon them, had nothing to do with demons or rifts.

The waiting felt like eternity. Every loud scream, yell or cry left Ellena half jumping with fright and she felt as if her nerves were suddenly on top of her skin and strung up like harp strings. At last after what could have been twenty minutes but seemed like hours Leliana walked back into the tent. She had bow in one hand and her gear was stained with blood, soot and dust.

"Come, we have a meeting near the battlements." The spymaster nodded and Ellena gratefully followed. Anything was better than spending another minute here, waiting and have no idea about what was happening. As they made their way down through the panicked town the elf kept looking around in a hope that she would see Cullen somewhere. A terrible fear started to grow in her heart and she uttered few silent prayers to the Maker for his safety. Leliana firmly walked in the front without even glancing back to make sure that Ellena followed. But despite her previous vows the spymaster was the one person appointed to act as a temporal master and even though Ellena longed to just dash away and look for Cullen her deeply ingrained obedience prevented her from doing anything else than trailing behind like a puppy. _Deep down she loathed herself for it._

Finally the two women arrived at the clear spot near one of the trebuchets and judging by the fact that no one else seemed to have been here, they must have been the first for the meeting. _Or so she have thought._

"Have you ever thought about the value of sacrifice?" Leliana's voice suddenly interrupted the noise from the battle below them and Ellena turned to look her way. The spymaster stood barely two steps from her and her hands were idly playing with a pair of iron cuffs. To answer the question the elf only silently shook her head as she was quite unsure about what Lelliana had meant with _" the value of a sacrifice"._ But apparently that proved as a sufficient answer to the Chantry sister because she continued in her speech after only a small pause.

"You see, a mage from Redcliff managed to get to us and warn us about the force which is attacking us now. A host of mages under the name Venatori who are led by a man who calls himself The Elder One. And guess why they are here." Leliana smiled Ellena's way and the elf's heart sank at the sight of her face. Part of her wanted to hope that this was not what it sounded like. But just as Ellena felt her hands tremble with fear she realized that those hand cuffs were most likely for her.

"The value of sacrifice is quite simple though. One sacrifices something in order to get something better. In this case..." The spymaster's free hand suddenly snatched the slender hand of the former slave in such a speed that Ellena hardly believed it possible. "...your life will save lives of everyone else in Haven. Honestly, you should be proud, no?"

The iron around her wrists felt heavy and it cut down into her skin. The revelation that Ellena was about to be given to the enemy forces left her dazed and barely able to speak. She could not even dream about putting up a fight or any other form of resistance. _And in the end what good would it do. If what Leliana said was true and she could save the people of this town then perhaps she should not fight it at all._ Ellena watched with odd detachment as Leliana secured the chain, which connected the bonds, to the side of the trebuchet and the only thing she was aware of was the frantic pounding of her heart against her chest.

"I will leave you here for now. The Elder One will collect you soon enough. And don't try to run. You would not want to be responsible for everyone's death would you?" Leliana gave her prisoner one last smile before she disappeared in the darkness which engulfed the little hill where Ellena remained petrified with fear and just when she thought that she could not be more afraid a loud, screeching shriek tore through the night and to her utter horror a dragon swooped down from skies and landed with force deafening as thunder a few meters away from her.

_So this was it then, this is how she will die._

* * *

Updated: 26.3.2016 _  
_


	10. With courage and frostfire

**AH** : _So as the last chapter ended in a small cliffhanger I decided to be good and finish this chapter ASAP. (Also this is a small buttering you guys up for the long delay through the holidays_ (｀・ω・´) _). Please enjoy. And remember a review is always welcome and makes me a happy writer._ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

* * *

"Cullen, we have to go. Now!" Cassandra fought with an urge to slap the man who stood in front of her and despite the terrible situation they have all been in, he still hesitated.

"But we are still missing a few people."

Was all the Commander said but Cassandra knew the hidden meaning behind the words. Ellena was not here and no one saw her. As much as the Seeker wished to hope that the woman was alright there were other, more pressing things to take care of. And the most important one right now was to get out of Haven. She settled on a reasonable approach and lightly clasped Cullen's shoulder in what she hoped was a friendly and reassuring gesture.

"Leliana is still out there looking for survivors. She will make sure Ellena and the others get here but right now, we have several dozens people here who are frightened and injured and it is our responsibility to get them into safety. We will lead them along the path Chancellor Roderick mentioned."

"If it makes things easier I will wait here for Leliana and others to regroup and then show them the way so we can catch up with you." Varric hastened to side with Cassandra and she gave him one of her rare smiles and a nod of approval.

"Very well. Lets get everyone moving then. Where is Roderick?" Cullen asked while his attitude shifted to that of his commander self. That was one of the things which Cassandra always admired about the man. He could shift gears in an instant and when he did the transformation was incredible. Where in one moment stood a man who was afraid and reluctant to leave Ellena behind was now an ex-templar and commander of the Inquisition who made his way through scared people of Haven and was already issuing the orders.

It took them several more moments to organize all of the survivors before they could head out into the lower dungeons under the Chantry. Once more Cassandra had to wonder what kind of a structure stood there before someone decided to rebuild it into the church building they came to know today. With such massive jail and now a hidden escape tunnel into the mountains her suspicion about the original purpose of the object only grew.

As the Inquisition set out from the chilling and dark caverns which zig-zagged underneath the mountains a blistering cold of the blizzard which has been raging fully through the mountain valleys finally hit them in the full force. They followed a barely recognizable path along the mountain sides and Cassandra finally decided to look back at what was left of Haven.

Even now from the distance she could see the red glow of fires and the dark smoke which spiraled upwards towards the skies. The Venatori and the mysterious Elder One who had attacked them surely came in with an overwhelming force. Had it not been for Roderick and his sudden recollection of this pilgrim path, all of them would have been probably dead by now. Her eyes turned from the smouldering ruins of Haven and she tried to recount just how many people were here. Several dozens at least, maybe over a hundred. It seemed that most of the towns people got out.

Cassandra could see Josephine and Blackwall who marched next to each other. Vivienne seemed composed as always as she made her way along the group of Templars who were helping several injured people through the snowdrifts. Her eyes lingered for a moment on Solas' back. The apostate mage walked in silence at the edge of the group, his head slightly bowed and he looked as if lost in some deep thoughts. A sudden ear splitting roar interrupted the silence of the night and everyone stopped dead in their tracks only to look up to the sky to see enormous, black dragon. The beast circled a few times above Haven before it swooped in among the fires which flared skywards upon its landing. _This cannot be._ But no matter how much Cassandra wanted to deny the facts, the monstrous dragon looked like one thing only. _The Archdemon._ She frantically made her way forwards to meet up with Cullen and the others. "We have to hurry, we cannot stay here."

"But we have nowhere to go." Cullen objected and Cassandra could see her own worries reflect on his face.

"If I may." Solas suddenly interrupted them and motioned for them to follow him away from the main group. "I might have a suggestion about our possible destination." The elf said finally. The flatness of his voice, despite their dire situation made Cassandra angry.

"We are listening Solas." Cullen replied after only a moment.

"To the north I know of the place which waits for a force to hold it. Where the Inquisition can rebuild and grow. It is called Skyhold."

"Can you lead us to it?" Cassandra asked and felt a tiny bit of hope among all the fears and worry which had hold of her heart.

"I will show you the way."

Together with Cullen the three of them pushed everyone to their limits, to get them as far away from Haven as possible. They only settled to rest for a couple of hours when the exhaustion took hold of everyone. At least they had gained enough distance from the immediate danger.

Early in the morning the next day a small group of latecomers arrived with Varric and Leliana leading the way. Cassandra felt a wave of relief when she saw them but that relief was short lived when her eyes did not find Ellena among them and her heart sank just as Varric lightly tapped on the flap of Cullen's tent. What struck her the most was the unusual serious and somber expression on the dwarf's face. She had never seen him looking like this before and when his back disappeared inside Commander's tent the Seeker suddenly felt a pang of pain in her heart. Judging from what she had just witnessed, Ellena did not make it. And despite the fact that Cassandra never really talked with that woman before, she now came to a realize that they had lost a good, honest person. Someone who tried her best to help despite the confusing and ugly situation they were all hurled into. And even though their time together was rather short lived Cassandra finally admitted to herself one thing. _She had lost someone who she just started to see as a friend._

Her eyes were still looking on Cullen's tent when she saw her friend hastily rush out and with a sigh the Seeker stood up and decided to follow him towards the small clearing hidden amongst a circle of short and wind beaten spruce trees.

* * *

It took Cullen a good moment to fully realize what Varric had said to him in the tent. Ellena had been cut off from everyone by that huge dragon and the Elder One came for her. According to Leliana's recount of the events the chance for her to survive was close to nill. The ex-templar growled in anger and pain and with the full force of his arm smashed his fist against the nearest tree trunk. _He failed her. Again and again he told Ellena that he will protect her but when it really came to it, he was not there._ As if guided by some cruel desire his mind already started painting pictures of Ellena's small and ragged form laying motionlessly in the snow. Alone and abandoned.

"Cullen..."

"Not now Cassandra." Cullen growled in general direction where the voice of his friend came from. But he felt as if all the strength had left his body. His knees gave up under him and his whole form slowly crumbled into the snow.

"By the Maker Cassandra...I failed her. I left her there alone to die."

"There was nothing you could have done. We needed you here. Ellena would not want you to abandon all these people and get hurt on her behalf."

"I will never know what she might have wanted. I...I really cared for her you know." Cullen at last heard himself admit his feelings for the elf woman aloud to someone else than emptiness of his own room.

"I know. She was a great woman. I do not think I ever gave her enough credit for how brave she really was." Cassandra slowly took few steps towards her friend and gently layed one hand on his shoulder.

"I need to go back. I need to find her or see for myself that she is really gone. I will not be able to live with myself otherwise."

Cullen lifted his head and thought for a brief moment that he must have really looked awful because when his eyes met with Cassandra's, instead of an argument she only nodded.

"Very well. I will lead everyone together with Solas to Skyhold. I will make sure we mark the way for you. But Cullen...be careful. I do not want to lose you too." The Seeker gave Cullen's shoulder one tight squeeze before he could hear her footsteps crunch in the deep snow as she made her way towards the main camp.

Twenty minutes later Cullen stood ready with his things packed and strapped to the back of one of the horses. He gave one last glance to the string of people who trailed through the deep snow towards the north and hopefully the place Solas had promised to them.

* * *

_Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Corypheus._

" _It is your own fault little girl. You have interrupted a plan which took years of planning and instead of dying you stole its purpose. I do not know how you survived but the mark was crafted to assault the very Heavens and you have spoiled it with your stumbling."_

_The red light flared from the orb in Corypheus' hand again and Ellena collapsed on her knees once more. The pain made her sick, dizzy and she prayed that he would end it. Wished to die only to escape it._

" _I will find another way. But you, I will not suffer even an unknowing rival."_

_She could only watch as he tore the chain, which bound her to the trebuchet free and with power unmatched he slowly lifted the small elf off the ground. All the muscles in her back protested against his grasp and for a moment she feared that the pull would dislocate her shoulders._

_Ellena could hardly breathe. Every time she drew in a shaky breath the pain in her left arm pierced through her and her back threatened to break. Frantically  she searched around for anyone or anything which would help her. It was at that moment when she realized that aside from her torturer and the Archdemon there was someone else present. A woman she had not seen before. Clad in dark dress, her fair hair reflected the flames around them and formed a sort of halo around her head._

" _Master. The town is ours." The woman announced in a voice thick with familiar accent. She must have been from Tevinter. Ellena thought._

" _Very well. Prepare our forces, we will leave soon."_

_The woman regarded the elf with the set of pale eyes but when she saw Ellena's face a hint of recognition flashed across her features. But Ellena could hardly dwell on it. Another tremor shook through her body and Corypheus tosed her aside like a ragdoll. The impact when her body slammed into the hard wood and metal of the trebuchet behind her knocked all the air from her lungs and she was left on the ground in a pitiful, gasping heap._

_Ellena desperately tried to think about something else. Tried to remember how to will her mind to focus on other things and to leave her aching body aside until this monster would deal her the finishing blow. Cullen's face appeared before her and she could hear a sob escape from her lips. How she longed to see him again. Wanted to feel his arms around her once more. Just to drown in his embrace. Ellena urged her mind with all her remaining will to stay focused on Cullen. On every detail of his face she could still remember. The little scar above his lip. The half smile he gave her. The flush of his cheeks when they have first kissed and his eyes. Those gentle brown eyes which always regarded her with gentle reassurance._

_It was working. She could feel herself slipping into a blissful darkness and the pain seemed a bit more distant and dull now. Ellena could breathe a bit better and somewhere deep within her mind a crazy idea came to life. If she was about to be killed by this mad man she should stand up and face him. Her whole life as far as she could remember she has always bowed down to someone. Knelt, squirmed, whithered and begged. More times than she could even count. But if this was her last day in Thedas she wanted to be true to her former resolve and wanted to stand proud as much as she could muster and look that man in the eyes._

_His amused chuckle , as Ellena fought with her own legs and stumbled about, only strengthened her courage. She could stand up, even if she had to lean against the catapult behind her. But it was better than to accept her own death lying helplessly in the snow. She looked up only to notice that other woman again. She stood behind The Elder One, obscured from his vision and with an offhand gesture motioned towards a pile of crumbled wooden planks and crates not far from them._

" _Very well. I see you are just like the others. You fight on even though your battle is already lost." Corypheus took one step closer and Ellena could see his outstretched hand blaze up with a red light. But she focused her eyes on the woman behind him once more. The woman nodded again towards the pile of wood and her lips mouthed a single word "Run"._

_And she did. Just when Ellena forced her whole body to push through the veil of pain and bolted to the side to make a break for it, the trebuchet behind her creaked and with a loud snap it hurled its load against the mountain side. The sound of an avalanche which followed topped every thunder Ellena ever heard in her life. She saw the mass of white snow come crashing down towards them just as she reached the crates and fell through a hidden hole in the ground._

Ellena woke up to the complete darkness and cold around her. The horrible visions about what had happened earlier still haunted her and it took her several moments to recall her memory and to get any recollection of where she was. The place was damp and she could hear wind blowing through the corridors. Somewhere in the distance a measured tap tap of water dripping pierced the silence and the air smelled of stone, moss and burned wood.

She tried to move slightly but a horrible pain shot through her whole back and left her pinned down to the ground with shaky breaths. _That's right. Corypheus smashed me against that trebuchet._ Ellena gave up on moving for now and instead focused on other things. Her body felt so cold that each breath she took sent violent shivers through her whole bing. Next she tested her hands and found out that she could slightly move the fingers. Tried the same with her feet but all she could feel was ice cold numbness. _I have to get out of here._ The urge of that thought drove her into a frantic desperation and Ellena tried to crawl forward. She knew that if she stayed here she would freeze to death or one of the Venatori would find her and finish the job.

On shaky knees and supported by her freezing hands the wounded elf managed to lift herself on all four and couple of moments later finally got herself to stand up. After a while her eyes adjusted to the darkness and Ellena could see the faintest of lights somewhere in the distance. Several moments later she settled into a steady pace and with the help of the cave wall which supported her left hand and shoulder her steps brought her steadily towards the exit. Unsure about how much time had passed while she layed unconscious among the wreckage Ellena hoped that the faint green light which she spotted over the nearest mountain peaks was a promise of dawn. Yet a reminder of another problem presented itself before her as she realized that she had no idea where the Inquisition might have gone to. With resignation Ellena moved forward as the only logical conclusion. She just had to keep walking.

By the time she made it over the nearest hill her clothes were soaked with snow and she had lost all feeling in her legs and hands. The freezing wind lashed at her face and any other exposed patches of skin with ferocity of thousand needles and the iron handcuffs which were still tightly clasped around my wrists felt as if they froze to her skin. It was only a memory of Cullen which kept her going. _One foot before the other._ Each step took all the strength she had left and yet it seemed that the snowy peaks were still too far away for her to reach. Just when she could see the skies above turn pink with the dawn her body finally reached its limit and the exhausted elf collapsed into the soft snow.

Ellena looked at her hands and saw the skin there unnaturally white at some spots while several deep-red blisters formed around her fingers and at the top of her palms while her wrists under the frosty irons of her bounds turned deep blue. But she was too tired to give it any more thoughts. All she could do was try and move her hands but she couldn't. The cold snow under her cheek pierced her skin with with numbing pain and coldness but that too soon had stopped worrying her. She was simply just too exhausted and wanted to sleep.

A sound of muffled hooves stirred her from the restless slumber and Ellena found herself still buried in the snow drift, though it must have snowed meanwhile because half of her body was now covered in a new, light layer of dusty snow.The hoofbeats grew louder and louder and she could hear low grunts and neighs from a horse somewhere around her. She had to draw attention to herself otherwise this snowy plain would turn into her grave.

 _I am here._ Was what she wanted to scream out but her throat was so hoarse and her lips trembled so much that she could not articulate a single word. Instead Ellena tried to move but that too proved as a vain effort. She felt tears burn on her cheeks as the reality of her helplessness dawned on her. She needed to call on the rider, whoever it was and kept forcing her lungs and vocal cords to function and in the end managed to let out a single cry of utter desperation.

The rider must have heard her because the horse suddenly stopped and a muffled thud revealed that someone had jumped from the saddle.

"H...help...!" Finally the freezing elf forced herself to say at least one word and then she could hear someone's footsteps rushing towards her.

"Ellena!"

It was Cullen's voice. And just in the moment Ellena was dead sure that her mind had finally gave up on her and that she had succumbed to hallucinations. But if this was supposed to be some figment of her imagination before certain death then she was grateful that it had turned out to be Cullen. A moment later though she could feel his hands around her as he gently lifted her from the freezing prison and indeed enought it all seemed so real.

"Maker's breath, you are so cold. Just hold on. I will have a tent and fire up in no time." His warm breath tickled her on her frozen cheeks and she decided that she did not care if this was real or not. It was Cullen and Ellena finally felt safe. But also so tired. The soft fabric of his cloak welcomed her and she closed her eyes. She could afford just a bit of a rest.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me. Please." Cullen slightly shook her in his arms as he carried the elf towards his horse and Ellena forced her eyes open for just a bit longer. From her position in his embrace she could see his chin and then his eyes as he looked down on me. It was really him. She wanted to smile or say something but she just couldn't. So she kept blinking, perhaps much faster than normally, to fight off sleep which had threatened to swallow her any moment now.

A series of forceful shakes brought her back from darkness just as she heard Cullen's frantic voice. "Ellena, please! Wake up." The exhausted elf blinked a few times and realized that they were now in a dimly lit and warm tent. Cullen sat next to her his hands were holding her shoulders and his face was contorted with fear. "Thank the Maker. Stay with me. It will be alright. Just keep looking at me Ellena, you cannot fall asleep. Not yet."

Ellena nodded warily and followed him around the space with her gaze. Her eyelids felt extremely heavy and it took all her focus and remaining strength to keep them open. To her relief Cullen knew what to do. In a matter of moments he pried the cuffs open and carefully removed them from her wrists. Thankfully she could not see her hands but a sharp intake of breath the ex-templar drew warned her that something was very wrong.

"I will get you out of the clothes now. Just nod if you feel any pain." At those words Ellena was finally able to crack the tiniest and weakest of smiles. At first she was not even sure if he had seen it but a moment later she felt his warm lips gently kiss her forehead and he lightly stroked her hair. Ellena had to admire Cullen's efficiency. It had seemed that the commander fell into his all business mode for the time being as he carefully managed to get the elf out of her clothes. The sleeves of her leather jacket had to be cut open, same as her trousers because Cullen did not want to risk more damage to her already injured skin. In a matter of minutes Ellena found herself stripped from all the clothes and wrapped under a warm layer of soft and dry blanket.

"There." Ellena felt his arms again around her shoulders and he propped her slightly against a makeshift pillow formed out of his bags and spare blanket. "This should help you stay awake. I will need to tend to your hands and feet. It will hurt but it needs to be done." She could see a genuine sadness reflect on his face and desperately wanted to tell him something which would ease his mind. She did not care if what he did hurt. The simple fact that he was here with her, that he came back, was making her so incredibly happy. And she needed him to know that.

"Thank you." Was all she could say, the words rasped through her throat and forced her to cough a few times.

"Shh. Don't talk." Cullen softly ran the tips of his fingers over her cheek before he spoke again. "Try to drink this. It's only warm water mixed with healing potion. But it should help you get a bit warmer and ease the pain." Ellena felt the edge of the cup lightly pressed against her lips and only after the first sip she realized just how thirsty she had been.

"There you go. Good girl." Cullen smiled at the elf woman before he turned his attention to her hands. He proceeded methodically and treated the frostbites with professionalism which made Ellena wonder just where he had learned about all this. After a moment she could feel the tingling and burning pain spread from her fingers and toes but as Cullen had assured her that was a good sign. Yet her whole body still shook with tremors caused by a deep, inner cold which seemed reluctant to give up on tormenting her. When the last bandage was wrapped around her wounds Cullen finally sat down next to her and let out a breath of relief. "You're still shaking." Her remarked while his eyes never left hers.

"I...I can..not.s...s..top it." Was all she could say through clenched teeth as she fought with her chin which trembled in uncontrollable shivers. "We need to warm you up quicker. There is a way..." Cullen mused for a moment before he gave Ellena one apologizing look and moved slightly away and in few fluid motions took off his shirt, socks and breeches and remained clad only in the pair of his underpants.

Despite the cold Ellena felt a blush flush over her cheeks and noticed the same reaction on Cullen's face. "I am sorry...but this is really the quickest way how to get you warm." He muttered nervously and rubbed his neck quickly before she could feel his body slide under the blanket. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer and she felt the radiating heat engulf her as they layed tightly pressed against each other.

"You look better, I think you can rest now. We will set out tomorrow when you get stronger." Cullen whispered into her hair and nestled his chin into the crook of her neck as he leaned in closer to look the elf in the eyes.

"Andraste preserve me I feared that I have lost you." He whispered and Ellena slightly shifted in order to face him better. Their faces were so close that their noses could almost touch and she felt inconceivably lost in those honey-brown eyes which were looking down at her with such a gentle gaze that had left her heart skip a beat and she wanted nothing more than to melt into his embrace.

"I kept thinking about you the whole time." She replied, this time more coherently as her body slowly stopped trembling. In the spur of the moment and after she recalled all those regrets which still hung around her heart, Ellena slowly moved her head up and, with unusual boldness which she had no clue where it came from, locked her lips with his in a brief but sweet kiss.

"You need to rest Ellena." Cullen whispered but his head stayed close to hers and their foreheads connected as he tightened his embrace around her small frame.

"You will be here when I wake up, right?"

"I promise I will never leave you again. Ever." His words made her heart swell with bliss and a moment later Ellena felt his mouth gently kiss her forehead again, but he did not stop there. Another kiss was planted at the tip of her nose, cupid's bow and finally their lips met once more in a deeper kiss, which left them slightly panting and their heads spinning.

"Now we rest." Cullen said decisively and reached out to extinguish the lights and Ellena felt herself drift off to the sleep. The most calm sleep she's had in years.

* * *

.Updated: 27.3.2016


	11. Interlude chapter II

_**AN** : Hello my lovely readers. Hope you've had a great New Year. I am back with a small Interlude chapter and I am fervently working on the next updade aswell. Though my work schedule has become a bit more hectic so I will update most likely only every Thursday. (Although I will try to speed up the process if I can ***cross my heart and hope to die***. _

_I would also like to thank you all for reviews, comments, private messages and favorites and kudos. The knowledge that people out there, in that big world of ours are reading something I have created is making me incredibly happy!_

* * *

Mariann Hawke leisurely stretched across her large four poster bed. Her hand instinctively searched the left side but found only a small bundle of bed sheets, haphazardly tossed into the middle.

With a little groan the Champion of Kirkwall slowly cracked one of her eyes open and the bright morning daylight, filtered through thin, white curtains reminded her with the stabbing pain that she had overslept.

_But where was Merrill?_

Hawke slowly dragged herself out of the bed and shivered when her feet came to contact with cold, white marble floor. She hastily tip toed towards a scattered bunch of her own clothing. Her trousers and shirt were there but with a resigned sigh she turned to search for her smallclothes and other accessories which happened to be scattered around the whole bedroom. After a few minutes of tired grumping and huffing Mariann was more or less presentable and with a small prayer to the Maker asking if she could avoid all the servants she exited the room into a long and rather dark corridor.

It took Hawke less than a half an hour to find Merrill sitting in the shade of a large oak tree. The elf woman was wrapped in a green and burgundy coloured blanket which perfectly complimented the autumn scenery of the garden. Merrill seemed oblivious to the outside world, her eyes were intently glued to the thin volume which she kept resting against her knees and Hawke noticed the familiar little line which had always appeared on Merrill's forehead when she concentrated too much on something. A sly idea was suddenly born in Mariann's mind and she silently retreated back, only to take the road to her left and sneakily circled her lover, who remained deaf and blind to the whole world.

"Got you!" Hawke let out a laugh when Merrill sprung up in a jump, her book and blanket tossed aside when Hawke's hands covered the elf's eyes.

"Hawke!"

"I know, I know. But it was too hard to resist." Mariann grinned before she leaned over and picked the blanket from the ground and gently wrapped it back around Merrill's shoulders. "Was that book really so interesting?" She asked and tilted her head slightly to the side in an attempt to read the title.

"Well actually it was the letter which was delivered early today. From Varric." Merrill's face turned unusually serious again and Hawke suddenly had a feeling that the impending doom was upon them. 

"Well what does Varric want? Never mind, let me guess." And Mariann cleared her throat as she tried to imitate Varric's voice and accent. "Daisy, I find myself in much more trouble than I had thought. Please tell Broody that I could use his help too. And by the way, I ran out of my favourite brand of beer, could you stop by at the Hangman and secure a keg or two? Oh I almost forgot. You can take Hawke along as well."

"Well not exactly. Although he did ask for help. With Corypheus." Merrill reached down to the ground to pick up the letter and handed it over to Hawke who stood rather petrified at the mention of the man who had cost her so much to defeat.

"He left us a map with coordinates how to get to the place where he currently resides with the Inquisition. It is called Skyhold." The elf turned to look at Hawke who stood silently and still behind her.

"Are you alright?"

"I am. Just a bit surprised that is all." Mariann let out a small sigh as she took the letter from Merrill's outstretched hand and quickly read the contents. "Skyhold huh? Well I don't know about you but I could really use some exercise."

"Indeed. I will handle the packing. I suppose you wish to visit Aveline and Fenris and let them know?" Merrill smiled fondly at her companion and gently placed one of her hands over Hawke's with the letter.

"I suppose I should. Aveline would bug me about it otherwise and Fenris would never forgive me if I did not invite him for a new opportunity to fight someone. Besides. The more the merrier." Hawke grinned, leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Merrill's lips. "Pack some winter clothes, that Skyhold seems to be in the mountains."

"Do not worry v _henan_." Merrill smiled and gently nudged Hawke forward. They both knew that should they stayed put their resolve with the letter would sooner than later fade into side track and made space towards some more playful time in the garden.

True to her plan, Hawke almost sprinted back to her bedroom and donned herself in a bit more presentable clothing. After all, daring the streets of Kirkwall could turn into a serious business any time of the day and at any place. Soon enough the Champion of Kirkwall found herself striding across the grey and cobblestoned streets of the City she had learned to call home after so many years. The promising blue skies of the early morning turned into steel grey and by the time she arrived to the door at the estate which Fenris still lived illegally, she could feel the first few drops of rain land on her hair and cheeks. They better leave soon. Judging by the cold air and the rain, the autumn storms will soon roll over the Waking sea, and that would make their journey to Ferelden almost impossible.

As per usual when she knocked on the door there was no reply. But since Hawke had known Fenris for years the ominous silence did nothing else than produce a small sigh from her lips as she took hold of the door knob and invited herself in. The hall of the abandoned mansion still had that same ancient odor of old books, dust and dampness of the stones. Often had Hawke wondered if she would ever see a day come when her elven friend would clean his home, but as the years sped by and the mansion still presented itself in this rather sad and deteriorated state, she came to a conclusion that this was the intended design and no more words were spoken about the subject.

"So is this a social visit Hawke? I do have some spare wine bottles lying around." A deep and rich voice of her friend greeted her and Mariann smiled faintly as Fenris appeared on the top of the stairs which led up from the hallway.

"I am afraid we might have to pass on that. I have received message from Varric. Apparently there are some troubles brewing in the south and he could use our help. Care to join in?"

"Did he give you any details?"

"Yes. Apparently this has something to do with Corypheus. You remember him? We fought him a few years ago."

"Ah, yes. The Darkspawn. Well if that is what is troubling Ferelden then I would be more than pleased to accompany you Hawke. It will be just like old times." Fenris offered a polite smile and a brief nod of his head. "When do we leave?"

"I am on my way to talk with Aveline. Once you pack your things, just go over to my place and meet up with Merrill. I will arrange for the ship on my way there."

"Certainly. Oh and Hawke?"

Mariann stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked back at her friend. "Yes?"

"It is good to be in action once more." Fenris smirked before he left for his private quarters.

 _Yeah, that it is._ Hawke thought fondly as she departed the old mansion and made her way towards the Guard barracks. At this hour, there was no doubt in her mind that Aveline would be there, drilling her people for the upcoming patrols.

It took Hawke several hours to arrange for the ship which would get them to The Storm Coast but thanks to her own connections as well as a few favors called in by Aveline they had their spots secured on a boat called Sundawn's Bounty which sailed under Captain Greninger. Apparently according to Aveline's assurance the ship should be safe and the crew dependable. Hawke had certainly hoped so, she was in no mood to get bothered by unruly sailors. The whole thing with Corypheus weighed heavily on her mind. She kept wondering just what in the Maker's breath could have happened that would include this particular monster. And what had made her even more baffled was the fact that Corypheus was dead, she had defeated him herself, alongside with Varric and others. _Well Varric better should have some good explanation._ There was no point in dwelling on it now. The Champion of Kirkwall shrugged and entered the Hangman through the tavern's front door. Even though nothing about it had been written in the letter, Hawked assumed right that a keg or two of Varric's favorite ale would make for a good gift for her friend.

Just as Sundawn's Bounty left the docks of Kirkwall the heavy storm clouds finally rolled in and pounded the City of Chains with relentless strings of rain and gusts of wind which joyfully proceeded to rock the ships from side to side like little toys scattered in the harbour. Hawke, Merrill and Fenris all retreated under the deck with their hope for peaceful journey disappearing quickly with each windy assault which threw their ship back and forth.

The crew under the lead of seasoned Captain Greninger made a good time and despite the worsening weather the ship soon made port at the Storm Coast. The little village which served them as a temporal port proved to be little more than dozen of small, wooden houses huddled together around one muddy street. The place looked rather sad and desolate, with all the houses turned grey by relentless winds and storms which came from the sea.

Luckily Hawke's contact kept his part of the bargain and three horses with rest of their travel supplies were stabled under the shoddy roof of what appeared to be nothing more than a pig pen.

"Very well, lets all mount up and head out, we have good several hours of daylight ahead of us so lets put some distance towards Skyhold." Hawke motioned for her two companions and walked over to the horses. She picked the brown mare which looked the most sturdy out of the little herd. She could only hope that the animal would be able to carry her weight along with her plated armor, weapons and bags.

"I...I am not really sure about this _vhenan_. Are you sure the horses are supposed to be this big?" Merrill slowly approached a grey and brown horse before her, her large green eyes reflected nothing more than worry.

"We are little a short on _Halla_ , dear. But I am sure you will be alright. The horse looks old and reasonable, it will just follow my lead and you make sure to focus on holding in the saddle. It is not a big deal." Hawke smiled at Merrill lightly and tried to keep the tone of her voice playful.

"I'll keep an eye on her." Fenris remarked as he finished strapping his belonging to the saddle of the last horse.

"Alright, lets get moving. I really don't want to explain to Varric that we are late because Daisy here was afraid of her horse." Mariann winked at Merrill who had apparently came to terms with her impending journey on horseback and with a little resignation and a snort climbed up into the saddle.

"You can be really mean sometimes, Hawke." The dark haired elf commented, her green eyes flashed one stern look towards her lover.

"Ouch. I am sorry Merrill but we really need to get going. I will make it up to you. I promise." Hawke smiled sweetly.

"I do hope so."

"Alright, if you two intent to turn this into a lovers quarrel and a make up session I will ride ahead." Fenris grumpily clicked his tongue at his horse and set out from the village.

"Alright, alright. We are right behind you."

The two women lightly chuckled uni son and nudged their mounts forward to face the long and tiresome treck towards Skyhold. And as Hawked had hoped, towards some answers.

* * *

Updated: 27.3.2016


	12. Where sides are switched

_**A/N** : I am so sorry this update came so late. Many things have happened and I only found myself in mood for writing few times over the past few days. I do hope my muse is not gone! I fully intend to keep working on this story. Thank you again for the lovely reviews. I am very grateful that you my loyal readers still enjoy the story. _

_Hopefully next chapter will be out next Thursday and according the schedule._

* * *

_Journey to Skyhold took them almost two days. During that time Cullen had to stop and make a camp several times as Ellena's condition slowly deteriorated. Despite her promising start when he had found her, the elven woman was now fading in and out of consciousness and her body was wrecked with high fever. And Cullen felt more desperate than ever before._

_He used all his healing potions and elfroot salve to help her as much as possible. His hours were spent in a silent vigil when he either sat next to her, watched her battle with the illness and his mind fervently prayed to Andraste and The Maker. Or when he'd have his arms tightly wrapped around her waist while he tried to navigate their horse through the snowy terrain and at the same time make sure she would not fall off._

_But during the entire time Cullen's mind was plagued by worries and sickening fear that he might lose her now. Not to Corypheus or the Breach but to something as mundane as a lung fever which had found its way into Ellena's body, now weakened by her ordeal at Haven and by so many hours spent in the freezing mountains._

"Cullen." The Commander shifted slightly, his mind still hazy from vivid dreams and he felt a hand gently squeeze his shoulder.

"Mhm..I am awake." Was all he would say before he collected himself enough to sit back up in his chair and looked around. The room was dark as the candles slowly burned down sometimes during the night and the fire in the fireplace at the opposite wall was now nothing more than a few flickering embers.

"What time is it?" Cullen finally asked, his head still half fogy from the sleep but the metallic taste in his mouth also reminded him that his current state was more due to lyrium. He took too much of it yesterday and its effects were still making his head spin.

"Five, the dawn will come soon. You look terrible." Cassandra's voice sounded on edge and he turned his head to regard his friend. But in the cold darkness of his quarters all he could see was a hard outline of her jaw.

"Yeah well...with how things look like these past few days..." Cullen left the rest of the sentence hanging as he ran his fingers through the matted mass of his hair and a sigh escaped his lips. "Why do all the things always turn for worse Cassandra? I mean..." But these words too disappeared into a silence. He was not even sure what he meant.

"Cullen, you need to pull it together. The Inquisition needs you. We all need you. We have troops coming to Skyhold everyday and they need training and organization. And you are not doing yourself any favour by staying in here all holed up."

"How is Ellena?" The ex-templar finally asked the question which had been on the back of his mind this whole time and to somehow shake the dread he felt from the answer, he stood up and proceeded to light up the candles again and give the embers a little stir with the fire-poker. His eyes followed the sudden burst of small flames and the tiniest sparks which flew from the wood reminded him of the fires at Haven.

"I will not lie to you. She is not doing well. Her fever is still high and despite our best efforts we are very low on medical supplies. Most of it perished in Haven together with Adan. I did send letter for Mother Giselle but it will take her several more days before she arrives, if at all. From the reports we have, there have been many new refugees pouring to Redcliffe and Crossroads and they might need her more down there."

Cullen balled his right hand into a tight fist as he kept his eyes locked up on the fireplace. He was just about to reply when Cassandra interrupted him. "She was asking for you last night though."

"She did?" Cullen saw Cassandra nod and a small sad smile appeared on her lips as she took few steps towards him and leaned against the corner of his table, her eyes reflected the flames and gave her an odd, amber glow.

"Solas used his last Embrium supplies, the tonic helped her a bit and she was able to talk with us and we could finally get her to eat something too." A pause in her voice managed to douse any traces of hope that Cullen might have had from the previous statement. "But its effects are wearing off quickly. We need the proper herb suppliers, preferably some dawn lotus so we could actually brew some useful potions, but there is just no settlement for several leagues to any direction and people are too scared because of the rifts to risk sending caravans this far away."

"Let me just clean myself, I will go and see her." The Commander tore his eyes from the flames and gave Cassandra a small, friendly pat on the shoulder." Thank you for all you are doing. I know I have been a mess, I will pull myself together."

"I am glad to hear some resolve back in your voice Commander." Cassandra smiled with a nod.

"Did you have a chance to talk with Leliana yet?" Cullen paused for a moment in his tracks. The thought of their Spymaster made his blood boil. No matter how much he had tried to turn and twist all the facts, in his mind it was Leliana who was directly responsible for Ellena's condition, despite the fact that they were unable to get any information about this from the elf herself.

"I planned to have a meeting with her today in the afternoon actually. You are more than welcome to join us."

"Good. I will do that."

They parted ways and Cullen found himself staring at the wooden case of his lyrium set for the longest of times. This was not the first time in his life when he had found himself wondering if it was all worth it. He left the Chantry and the Templars but even now when he was with the Inquisition he felt chained to his old life. To the horrors of Kinloch Hold and later to the events which had happened in Kirkwall. His thoughts wandered back to Meredith. Even now, sometimes he woke up with sweat on his forehead when his memories brought her horrid demise into his dreams.

"Perhaps it is time that I break this leash." The Commander mumbled to silence of his chamber and pushed the wooden box away from himself across the table.

_But he was not even sure if the lyrium addiction could be stopped. He needed to talk to Cassandra about this._

* * *

"Ma'am, we have the newest shipment. Right now we are sorting the slaves you have bought. Those in need are given necessary treatment, others are given clothes and food as we speak. Also a Templar is here to see you."

Calpernia spun quickly from her window view and regarded the clerk who stood just one step before the closed door of her office. The man looked overworked and not healthy. Perhaps it was time for a few days off. After all the next planned shipment from Tevinter will not arrive before the end of the week. The mention of the Templar on the other hand worried her but she would just have to keep that hidden. There is just no place for showing weakness.

"Show him in, but keep the house guards close by."

She knew the man had entered her office even before she could hear the door close behind him. It was that sickening sweet odor which seemed to evaporate from his whole being. It reminded her of sick people once when a plague erupted in one of the poor districts of Minrathous. The people there smelled the same. Sweet, sick scent of death and decay. Calpernia took in a long breath before she recognized the presence of her guest. "Samson, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"No need for the pleasantries. That was quite a stunt you pulled at Haven. Did you really think that The Elder One will not notice your...rather wavering allegiance?"

She turned to face him. The man looked even more sick than the last time she saw him. His face was pale as death and dark veins throbbed right under the surface. But her focus shifted to his eyes. They looked barely human. An evil red glow seeped around his irises and gave his already shambled visage an appearance of someone who was suffering from some kind of addiction. And Calpernia had a hunch that whatever was going on with Samson, it had something to do with the red lyrium bottles her agents had recovered from Terinfal several weeks ago.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." She had to stall him, the protective runes around her office were all in place but they needed a bit more time to charge up. And Calpernia was not a fool. The fact that he appeared here was a proof enough that she had been replaced.

"Well I mean as admirable as your ties to the slaves are..." She watched with rising anger as Samson casually strolled into her office and stopped near one of the side tables to tap his filthy fingers over some of the shipment manifests there. "you have to admit to yourself that helping our enemy, just because she happens to be somewhat like you...Is rather stupid."

The magic dampening field appeared almost out of nowhere. She could feel the tingling at the tips of her fingers and it made her whole skin crawl. _So this was the power of the Templars?_ The sheer crushing force made her stumble and her hands instinctively found support at the nearest table. This could have been her end, if she was someone else. But being a slave from Minrathous, Calpernia soon learned how to be resourceful and more than anything, always prepared.

"I see. Does this mean The Elder One has no use of my services?" She spat out through gritted teeth. Just to keep the concentration of that slimeball Samson on herself, away from the wards, which have almost reached their peak of power.

"It would seem so. A shame. But now I will be the vessel of his will." The man laughed in a way which had left little doubt in Calpernia's mind that he was slowly turning mad.

"Very well." Was all the reply she could muster as another inhibiting attack crashed against her body. The sensation of having her magic pent up and unable to release made her head spin. But still with enough clarity, Calpernia managed to press the secret switch under the edge of her writing desk.

In mere seconds the whole office erupted in flames and a dazzling, high pitched noise of her wards echoed through the whole building. But she did not wait for her guards to enter the room. With how things have turned out, she could not trust anyone here. With enough time to only grab her cloak and the bag of necessities she had always kept at arms reach, Calpernia quickly rushed to the window behind her and without a second thought hurled herself through the glass and out to the courtyard.

A sharp pain brought her senses back and she could feel sickening warmth of her own blood which slowly ran down her left arm. With a low growl the escaping mage ripped the large glass shard free from her shoulder and now, when outside the reach of Samson's cursed powers, she focused all her remaining will and created a small invisibility field around herself.

There was now only one place where she could turn for support and revenge. _Skyhold._

* * *

Updated: 27.3.2016 _  
_


	13. Announcement

So sorry for the fake update but I think this is the best way how to get people on track, rather than just post underline notes to already posted chapters. First of I am terribly sorry for lack of updates. It has two reasons. One being that I lost my interest in Dragon Age for a while and rather than feeling like I am plunging through this fandom because I must I let it rest for a bit to see if my mood and muse returns. (and it has). And second is that I am back at my work after a long long pause and I am right now in full spin of physical training and therapy and I usually fall down into bed too exhauted to do anything. 

But!

This story is not abandoned. I will slowly revise and update the old chapters. I decided after a while to change POV of the entire story to 3rd person view, it just comes more naturally to me. And once the updates are done I will post the new chapter which is atm around 40% done. So I do hope I have not made people angry with me because of this long silence, keep the patience, there is more to come. 

And lastly, thank you for continued support!


	14. Chapter 14

The mounted trio reined in the steaming horses after they pushed hard through mountain paths and valleys which surrounded the mysterious place, where The Inquisition established their present headquarters. Hawke pulled the hair out of her face and secured the irritating strand behind her ear as she peered before them and noticed a faint trail which winded up the nearest hilltop.

"Alright, if the map Varric gave us is any good then Skyhold should be just behind this hill and a small valley. Hopefully we will make it before the nightfall I don't fancy freezing our backsides out here for another night."

Fenris nudged his horse forward and stopped next to her side, the white snow which covered his normally dark, fur cloak made him look like he had suddenly grown his hair into a white, cascading mane. "I still don't like this. From what you've told me it is apparent that these people were hunting for you relentlessly back in Kirkwall and were the reason why you had to hide. What makes you think they will look at you kindly now?" The elf crossed his arms over his chest and let out a small growl of disdain.

"I trust Varric on this, he would have never asked me to come over here if he had any doubts that there was some danger or that there was some other option." Hawke gave her friend a reassuring look and reached out to gently pat his shoulder with her gloved hand.

"It will be alright Fenris, you know me, I get the things done." She grinned and winked at the elf in her usual playful manner.

"We could just continue and find out." Merrill caught up with them and Hawke had to stifle a laugh when she looked at her love who was clad from ears to toes in warm, fur coat and it made her look like a cross breed between mountain bear and an elf.

"Right, lets ride or Merrill here will never forgive me for catching cold." Marrian laughed and clicked her tongue at her horse to get it moving.

After what seemed like eternity but couldn't have been more than few hours the group finally stopped at the peak which lazily dipped into a comfortable descend into a valley and their eyes for the first time saw the tall walls and towers of Skyhold. Evening sun reflected from the windows and the light breeze flipped the Inquisition banners and flags, lightly tugging at them as the riders continued their treck.

"I can't believe there is a place like this hidden alone in these mountains." Merrill breathed out, her eyes wide with astonishment as she took in the full scale of the fortress.

"Yeah, I guess the Maker was with the Inquisition when they needed a place to rebuild." Hawke nodded and nudged her horse into a trot.

The hooves' muffled sound changed to a clinging as they arrived at the stone bridge and the trio slowed down into the walk when they noticed four guards posted at the gate who eyed them with rather weary and suspicious eyes.

"I do hope Varric mentioned our arrival." Hawke shifted slightly in the saddle but did not break her usual smile as they neared the waiting guards.

"Daisy! Hawke! Broody!" Varric's voice greeted them in a loud cry as they rode through the gate and into the spacious courtyard which was at the present packed to brim with wounded soldiers, tents and small campfires.

"Varric!" Hawke jumped off her horse and without giving it much thought rushed forward to say hello to her friend with one of her genuine and back splitting bear hugs.

"Can't even say how glad I am to see you kid. Hope the journey was not too bad." The dwarf smiled and waved at a boy who just passed by to stop him. "Hey there kiddo, run to the stables to tell Master Dennet we have some more horses coming would you?"

The boy only nodded, his brown eyes glued to Fenris' armour and the large sword, he eventually shuffled away and pushed into full sprint, probably to prove that he could be trusted. Hawke had to smile. He reminded her too much of herself whenever some new adventurers visited Lothering.

After the three of them dismounted and took hold of their travel packs Varric lead them inside the main hall to warm up at the fires all the while their dwarven friend kept asking about Aveline and others and in turn told them a short version of what has happened here. And Hawke grew worried more and more. In the end when Varric recounted their hasty retreat to Skyhold Merill was hanging on each of his words and Fenris looked like he was ready to charge the Elder One by himself right now.

"So that's pretty much what has happened since the lovely Lady Seeker dragged me from Kirkwall." The dwarf ended his tale with a small bow and took a seat next to his friends.

"Well Varric I am not even sure that there is something witty I can say about that." Hawke sighed a bit and stretched her legs a bit more towards the fire her whole face one big frown.

"Actually..." Merrill joined their conversation from her spot nearest the fireplace where she had been thawing for the last half an hour. "I would like to get a look at Ellena, you mentioned she is ill and I have a whole pack of herbs and potions with me." The dark haired elf patted the leather bag which hung over her shoulder fondly.

"I'm sure that Curly will appreciate that. He has been a walking menace these past few days and I am pretty sure that Ellena's condition is the main reason for that." Varric replied and poured new beer into the three mugs and gestured to his friends to help themselves.

"Curly? You mean Cullen is really here? The whole time when he left Kirkwall I thought he was joking about joining the Inquisition." Hawke shrugged her shoulders lightly and grabbed one of the mugs with a pleased smile. "I mean, he never stroke me as a man who would I don't know...abandon his career of jailing the mages."

"He's changed a great deal you know. Still has that pole up his arse but I'm working on it." Varric grinned and pushed the second mug into Fenris' hands without waiting for the approval of the silver haired elf man.

"But enough about that, our lovely Ambassador wanted to meet you to show you to your rooms. I've spread the word around that you are all coming, had to dodge a few flying fists from the Seeker but she's calmed down now." The dwarf finished his drink and with a little stretch stood up from the seat and waved at the others to follow him through the hall and towards the door at the left side from the throne.

* * *

Around half an hour later and when the cheerful Ambassador who Varric for some reason referred to as "Ruffles", showed them their new quarters, Merrill strode purposefully across the courtyard and into the low rooms which were reserved for the healers and their patients.

The little elf could see even from the distance a golden curly head of Commander Cullen and she sped up her walk to catch up with him. "Cullen!" Merrill cried finally and breathed out quickly as she came to a stop and waved at the ex-templar who turned to face her after he had heard his name.

"Merrill?" Cullen replied rather surprised and ran his hand through his hair in his usual gesture of bewilderment or confusion.

"Yes...I arrived today together with Hawke and Fenris. Varric send for us." Merrill smiled at the Commander and then gestured to her bag. "I came to have a look at your friend. I have healing herbs and potions. I heard she got caught in a blizzard and is no sick with lung fever."

"Do you think you can help her?" Cullen's eyes almost shone with hidden hope and Merrill had to smile slightly.

"I think so. You see in my clan lots of us got sick over the winter. I've learned all the recipes from our Keeper...you know...when I still was her First." Merrill finished the last words with a bit of a strain in her voice but her green eyes still sparkled with enthusiasm as she joined the Commander for the short remaining walk towards the makeshift infirmary.

"I am glad you are here. Also Hawke and Fenris. With what we might face it is good to have old friends around." Cullen nodded and patted the elf next to him on the back in his usual friendly gesture.

"I know. And from what we've heard from Varric this looks rather grim. But I am glad were are here. Hawke would never say it aloud but I know she'd missed the old days when she could get to some adventures. And I am also sure that now she's here she might want to get in touch with Bethany."

"Her sister is in Ferelden?" Cullen replied surprised and stopped just before the door to look down at the elf at his side.

"Well she at least was last time we heard from her. She managed to stay clear of all the infighting between the mages and templars and I suspect that since Skyhold appears to be more or less a neutral haven for anyone who could help that Hawke will try to get her here. If only to keep her safe."

"I see, well I suppose that at these times no one will have anything against a trained mage joining us in our cause. Much less if so many people vouch for her." The Commander nodded once more and pushed the door open to let Merrill in first.

"That and also from I've heard you are lacking good healers and Bethany is one of the best I know." The elf gave Cullen a small smile before he pointed her towards the other side of the room where a set of doors lead towards the inner corridor which held entrances to several separate small quarters, each a private room for one patient and they both entered the one at the right side with a small window and view of the mountains.

Merrill's eyes soon adjusted to the dim light of few candles at the nightstand and the light from the fireplace which illuminated the room with golden and orange glow. She saw that apart from two chairs and the bed the space was practically empty but before she could give her surroundings anymore thoughts a muffled and weak cough which came from the bed in front of her interrupted her and the dark haired elf moved slowly forward to get a look at her patient.

Ellena layed in the bed and under the thin covers which were visibly drenched in sweat. The former tevinter slave breathed in small, labored breaths and slightly tossed around as high fever burned through her whole body. Merrill did not waste anymore time and started unpacking her healing kit and various pouches with herbs and seeds along with several glass vials, most of them filled with liquid in various shades of red.

"She's been like this for two days now." Cullen half whispered from the other side of the bed where he pulled a chair closer and sat down, taking Ellena's slim hand between his and lowered his gaze to wards the struggling woman.

"I can imagine. How are her wounds? Varric mentioned frostbites?" Merrill finished with her things and moved closer to the bed with one of the vials firmly in hand.

"I think those are getting better, at least from what I can tell. But if you have any experience with such please feel free to help her. All our healing and medical care has been makeshift at best. We've lost our apothecarian in Haven and the Chantry Mother who used to be with use is now in Redcliff." Cullen's eyes never left Ellena's face as he spoke to his friend and Merrill gave him a small, sad smile of sympathy.

After spending years with Hawke she knew exactly how the man must feel. She herself was often left wondering if Mariann would make it through her injuries or if one of her daring adventures would not end in tragedy. And all that time Merrill often found herself unable to help at all.

The dark haired elf shook her head to banish the thoughts away and instead focused on her patient. Judging from her present condition simple healing potions would not work and she opted for a bit more drastic measure and with Cullen's help managed to get Ellena to drink and swallow some of her self improved dawn lotus potion. Now they only had to wait.

* * *

It was in the middle of the night when a rough shake of the shoulders brought Cullen from his sleep, the first good sleep he'd had since they arrived to Skyhold. And he had Merrill to thank for that. Her care for Ellena brought results almost immediately and the Commander could finally relax slightly after he had made sure that Ellena would eat at least some of the vegetable broth he'd brought her.

"Cullen wake up." Cassandra's voice brought him to reality and the Commander shook his head slightly to clear the remaining sleep from his head and was half way across the room to fetch his armour.

"What is going on Cassandra?"

"We have a visitor. And you are needed in the dungeons, Josephine and Leliana are already there." The Seeker replied in a low voice filled with worry mixed with excitement.

"Alright I'll be right there." Cullen replied quickly and searched for a moment for his cloak just as he heard the door click shut when Cassandra left the room.

Their meeting in Skyhold's dungeon was a rather peculiar sort. True to Cassandra's words the Ambassador and Spymaster were both there. Josephine looked tired and her otherwise meticulous hairstyle was rather marred from sleep. Yet her eyes shone with excitement and she clutched her usual writing board in one hand and a quill in the other.

Leliana on the other hand looked even more ill than Ellena did yesterday and Cullen had to wonder just what was wrong with the Spymaster. He still was not fond of seeing her, not after Haven and her rather vague recount of the events. But he knew the Inquisition needed her and so he swallowed his personal feelings for the woman, at least for now.

Oddly enough Varric arrived a moment later together with Hawke. Both of them looked like they did not even go to bed yet and after initial greeting of Champion of Kirkwall Cullen returned to his own thoughts.

"So who is this visitor?" Hawke asked finally and Cullen suspected it was probably more for the benefit of breaking the oppressing silence than for actual interest.

"No idea. Cassandra called us here so I suspect she will bring whoever we are meeting with her. Although I would have preferred a little bit better place for it. It's freezing out here." Josephine replied and breathed a bit of air over the hand which still held the quill to warm her skin up a bit. And Cullen had to agree. The dungeons must have half crumbled to ruin some time ago and a freezing wind whipped at their hair and clothes while they stood and waited.

Finally after what had felt like eternity but was probably no more than several minutes the entrance door creaked open and Cassandra stepped in followed by two guards who held a fair haired woman between them, with chains bound around her wrists.

"Thank you all for coming." The Seeker said in the most flat tone Cullen had ever heard from her. "This mage here." Cassandra gestured towards the prisoner and the guards nudged her slightly forwards. "Claims that she has a vital information about our enemy as she was until recently in his ranks but decided to switch sides." All eyes turned to look at the mage who let out a soft sigh and lowered her head slightly.

"May I speak?" The fair haired woman asked in somewhat humble tone of voice and Cullen crossed his hands over his chest and allowed himself to give her some benefit of doubt.

"You may." The Seeker replied and took hold of the chain which connected to the irons around the prisoner's wrists and then waved at the guards to send them off and close the door.

"Thank you. Well then. My name is Calpernia. Until recently I have been tasked with overseeing activity of a group of mages under the name Venatori."

Cullen looked around to see if anyone had anything to say but when he was met only with silence he turned his eyes back to the woman who continued in her speech.

"You must understand that we have joined with the Elder One under a promise that he would help Tevinter. Yet now I can see that such promise was nothing more than a false pretense." Calpernia continued and Cullen was slightly surprised at the fierceness of her voice. She sounded as a patriot if he ever saw one.

"The Elder One now works alongside the remains of the Red Templars and they are led by a man called Samson. I was led to believe that they wish to use the Grey Wardens as part of their plan and I came here to offer my help."

The rather unexpected revelation about the Grey Wardens brought hushed whispers from his companions but Cullen was more worried about the mention of Samson. That man was trouble and if he was in charge of the Red Templars then they needed to do something about it.

"Since the Inquisition has the right to judge its prisoners I brought her here so we can pass the collective judgment." Cassandra interrupted the starting debate and everyone turned to look at her with thoughtful eyes.

"We should vote on it." Josephine replied and Cullen noticed the tip of her quill still pressed against the parchment on her writing board. No doubt their Ambassador already wrote down every single word they uttered in here.

In the end the majority of them supported the idea of letting Calpernia stay, under surveillance and to work together with other mages and Hawke in finding out what was going on with the Grey Wardens.

Meanwhile Cullen slowly retired back to his quarters and sat down into his chair with a long sigh. Things were getting more and more complicated and he did not like it. Yet if they had any chance in stopping Corypheus they had to just push on. He was reminded of the report on his table he read earlier and which contained detailed preparation of their next move which would entail attending the Grand Ball in Winter Palace. Another of the things the Commander was not happy about.


	15. Chapter 14

The storm had been raging on for two days now and the unending downpour splashed and whipped against the grey walls of Skyhold with ferocity even the Elder One could envy. Ellena sat in her bed and watched the rain drops splatter against the window of her small room and a soft sigh escaped her lips. Not that there was anything to complain about. She felt much better since Merrill had showed up and began her treatment. Even the terrible, bitter taste of the potions which she'd had to take every four hours was something Ellena could easily deal with. What made her sigh a second time was a lack of company.

To be more precise, the now recovering elf missed Cullen dearly. But it had seemed that a lot of things were happening around and the ex-templar was needed elsewhere. Actually Ellena remembered that this time his duties had sent him away with a small forward party to secure a hold for the Inquisition in a region called Emprise du Lion. Before his departure he had visited her once to reassure her that the trip would not take more than a week and that by the time of his return they'd spend some time alone together as he had hoped that Ellena would be fully healed.

Well the promised week was overdue three days ago and the overall mood of the large keep was that of an impending bad news and Ellena decided that sitting in her bed was not doing her any good. She had to at least get up and pass the time somehow to silence the worried, tiny voice in her head. The first step to her full recovery was now to go and make herself presentable again. After spending so many days and nights in bed and fighting the fever the elf felt that it was a high time for a good bath else when Cullen returns he might reconsider his idea about spending his private time in her company.

Thankfully the workers who poured into the fortress from all over the country had been more than efficient and quick in their repairs of the ancient buildings. Most of the roofs were now fixed and from the regular updates Ellena received from Merrill the amount of pots and jars used to battle the leaking had been substantially smaller than the previous week. This improvement left enough workforce with spare time which was now utilized by the Ambassador who insisted that they could not live in Skyhold without functioning bath house and so yesterday brought not only heavy strings of grey rain and raging winds but also the news about the bath being finished and to the joy of most of the women in the fortress a small appointed group of the mages managed to break through the lower layers of the mountain and opened free two hot springs which now merrily brought warm water for the use of bathing, cleaning and laundry.

And so with these thoughts in mind Ellena gathered what little clothes she's had and headed out through the inner corridors which winded up and down through the massive walls of Skyhold and led her deep down into now dark and silent bath house. Massive stone steps carved into the mountain itself by the powers of the mages and the local stonemasons led her into the cavern like room which served as a dressing room and was now silent, empty and mostly cold as the fire in the large fireplace at the opposite side of the wall was nothing more than a few flicking embers, most likely a remainder of someone who had previously visited the place to relax in the warmth of the hot spring water.

Ellena quickly crossed the room and layed her clothes into a neat pile on one of the makeshift, wooden benches and draped only in a towel tiptoed quickly over to the door leading into the spacious room which contained three pools carved into the stone floor itself. It took a bit of looking around before she could find the wooden switch which was connected to some strange contraption in the walls but soon enough a stream of hot water started to flow in through the wooden pipes and into the nearest pool. Ellena let out a small sigh of relief as the steam started to warm the spacious room up and soon enough she found herself submerged in the steamy bath up to her chin and lost in the thoughts while her whole body appreciated the relaxation.

The first and the most heavy thought on Ellena's mind was her place in all this. Since their settling down in Skyhold things have taken a bit more serious note, that much she could tell despite her illness, and because of it she mused that the time will soon come when she would have to go out into the world again and help out with the Rifts. That worried her, not because of the possible dangers but because she swore to herself during their fight in the Templar Stronghold that she would try to do her best. But so far there was no opportunity for that. One thing was certain, she needed someone who could teach her how to defend herself and possibly how to fight back, she strictly refused to be burden on these people anymore.

 _Yet who could she ask?_ Solas or any other mage were out of question, she had no talent for magical arts at all. Then there were Varric and Cassandra. Granted the dwarf did offer a help but somehow Ellena suspected that his help would mostly consist of learning how to shoot things from the distance. Even though Bianca was an impressive weapon Ellena's had a hard time imagining herself with a similar crossbow and shooting enemies in a rapid succession same as she's seen Varric do. Such fine arts and quick aiming was not really something she could excel at at all.

As for Cassandra, the Seeker was the front line fighter. Heavy built and strong and with the focus on serving as a living shield for her allies. That was actually the same for Blackwall. And certainly something Ellena knew would not serve her well. No matter how she twisted or turned it, her built and height were not meant for the front lines and heavy armours and shields.

With these thoughts in mind she slowly moved across the warm pool and found a tray of common soaps at the edge near one of the jars with the cold water. _Who else could be there to train her?_ Certainly not Cullen, the Command of the Inquisition has proven time and again that he was too worried about her safety and should something happen to her during the training he would have never forgiven himself. Not to mention that Ellena had a nagging feeling that he would not quite approve of her sudden change of education.

A sudden noise from the other room brought her from her musings and just now did she realize just how noisy a group of people outside must have been. The voices bounced off the walls and it made it quite impossible for Ellena to guess just how many people had suddenly decided to visit the baths. And there was nowhere to run to now so the only logical thing she could think of was to move to the farthest side of the pool and hope for the water to hide her from nose down.

"I'm sure you'll love the place Beth. And truth be told you could use a bit of a down time."

The first voices filtered through the echoes and carried over a lightly amused tone underlined with a small laughter.

"I am still not sure about this." Another voice replied and this time Ellena could distinctly hear the light accent of Merrill's speech.

"No one will be down there. I made sure about it." The first voice broke the silence again and was followed by a third also unfamiliar one.

"Lets just be done with this. The Commander mentioned the council meeting in one hour after all and he was rather adamant about you Hawke to be there."

That peaked Ellena's interest. _Could it be that she had missed Cullen's return?_ Well wouldn't that be a typical turn of events if after being so worried he'd arrived the moment she stepped into the bath house?

"Fine, fine sis. And here I thought we might try the bubble soap which Josephine gave us the other day."

As the voice grew louder Ellena awkwardly shifted in the water and in a rather quick burst of paniced thoughts about either running away somehow or at least announcing her presence almost slipped and disappeared under the water surface. Both options were rendered useless the moment the trio entered the bath with glowing lanterns in hands which easily filled the room with enough light to immediately reveal her location.

"Now, what have we here?" The woman which the previous conversation identified as Hawke stepped forward with a playful smile on her face and raised her dark eyebrows slightly.

"I..I apologize Madam, I had no idea the place was reserved." Ellena stuttered slightly and defensively wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Ah, hello Ellena." Merrill cheerfully waved from behind Hawke and pushed herself to the front.

"No worries. There is enough room for all of us." The last woman entered the room and Ellena noticed that there was some resemblance between her and Hawke. Probably the eyes.

"Bethany is right. No need to fuss about it. And here I forgot the manners again. I am Mariann Hawke and this is my sister Bethany. And Merrill you know." Hawke smiled in a kind way and without further delay tossed her towel aside and walked into the water pool.

Again the casual ways with which others addressed her and behaved around her made Ellena happy and confused at the same time. Although each day her confidence grew stronger.

"Pardon me...but I have overheard you talk about the Commander and the council meeting? Does it mean that he is back?" the tevinter elf forced her voice to sound at least partially confident and prayed that the small trembles were not audible too much.

"Ah yes. The Emprise du Lion party has just returned perhaps half an hour ago. They confirmed that the Red Templars have numerous bases there. And do not worry, the Commander is unharmed." Hawke grinned at Ellena knowingly and motioned for her sister and Merrill to join them in the bath.

"I wonder what this meeting is about. It sounded rather urgent." Bethany mused out loud and soon joined the two other women in the pool on the side from Hawke with a relaxed sigh.

"Well Varric wouldn't tell me. But he was running around grinning like mad so I suppose it is something important and probably also something which will in some way screw up with any plans I might have had for the future. You know him." The older Hawke sister shifted slightly in the water and reached out for the soap cakes on the side of the pool.

Meanwhile Ellena noticed that Merrill seemed rather hesitant to join them as the dark haired elven woman stood slightly awkward at the side of the pool still covered in a fluffy white towel.

"So Ellena I've heard a great deal about your mark and your miraculous escape from Haven, why don't you tell us the whole story?" Hawke interrupted the silence and waved Merrill closer to sit down at the side of the bath.

"Well...there is really not much to say Madam. I am not even sure what has really happened." Ellena replied rather nervously and kept her eyes at the small waves which marred the water surface.

"First of all drop the Madam, call me Hawke or Mariann like everyone else." Hawke smiled and moved across the water closer to the elf to casually put her arm around her shoulders in an almost sisterly manner. "And second, I am sure that you can tell us what has happened in Haven, I mean Cullen doesn't know and you were the only one there, come on. Don't force Merrill to go all puppy eyed on you, there is no resisting to that." Mariann chuckled happily.

Perhaps it was the easy going attitude the famous Champion of Kirkwall has had around her but Ellena suddenly felt quite relaxed in her new company and so without further convincing started to recount all that she could remember. How she woke up in Haven with the strange mark with only a faintest of memories about running from something and towards a woman made out of the pure light. It felt good when she noticed that all six eyes were glued to her every word and surprisingly Hawke has proven to be the best audience. She gasped at the right moments, when Ellena told them about their first journey towards the Breach. She also got all worked up when the story shifted to the events at the Terinfall Redoubt. But when was the time to tell them about the last moments in Haven and Leliana Ellena could not bring herself to do it. Instead she made some more or less vague retelling of her encounter with the Elder One and could feel the shiver creeping up her spine at those horrible memories. Luckily Bethany was the one to remember time and reminded everyone that their leisure time was almost up.

"Thank you for the story Ellena." Bethany said with a smile before she hurried for her clothes into the other room followed quickly by Merrill who stuttered her own thanks still a bit wide eyed from the story.

"You should come with us by the way. I am sure that Cullen would be more than glad to see you and after all you have the mark. I think it will do you good to be in the front seats for a while, so to speak." Hawke smiled and upon leaving the pool wrapped herself in the towel. "We are meeting at the great hall, please meet us there and no worries if anyone objects I will tell them that you have my personal invitation."

"Uhm..Hawke?" Ellena suddenly called out her voice trembled slightly in nervousness.

"Mhm?" Was a quick answer as Mariann quickly ran her fingers through her short cut dark hair to shake out the water droplets.

"I was just thinking...I have heard stories about you and well...if it wouldn't be too much trouble, do you think that you could...show me how to fight with a sword like you do?" Ellena almost gasped at her own daring confidence but it was too late now to take her words back.

"No problem. I'll get Fenris to help us out too. He is even better with a sword than I am. Don't worry Ellena, if you need training we will make sure that you can keep the enemies away from yourself." Hawke grinned with a cheerful wink and hurried out to catch up with Merrill and Bethany.

* * *

Then minutes later Ellena found herself standing slightly uncomfortable at the nearest fireplace in the Great hall with a mug of ale in one hand and an apple tart in the other both curtesy of Varric's who was currently entertaining her as well as Solas and Fenris with a tale of one of his many exploits in the past. This one apparently entailed a rather long and intricate story about a turnip merchant, an adventurer and a hundred liter barrel of milk.

The noise from the outside brought in a tell tale sign that the inhabitants of Skyhold were slowly gathering for some sort of ceremony and Ellena could feel the mood thick with some sort of expectations. Yet no one seemed to know for sure what was about to happen or they were not keen on sharing the details and the Inquisition's Council was no where to be found same as both Hawke sisters who were also suspiciously absent.

"Dears I do apologize for interrupting such an intricate story but Lady Ambassador had just informed me that we are all expected outside at the steps." The silky voice of Madame de Fer interrupted Varric's story in its glorious finale and the dwarf gave the Royal Enchantress one narrow look before he waved at his friends with a sigh and a shrug.

Skyhold's courtyard was packed with every inhabitant standing in lines below the large stone steps. Before them stood Cullen in his full armour, his hair slightly tousled with wind and as Ellena noticed his cheeks were gruff with a slight stubble apparently his journey to Emprise du Lion left no spare time for taking care of that. But she admitted to herself that the slightly disheveled look of the ex-templar was more than becoming him.

The whole group which left the Great Hall silently gathered at the steps and Ellena had a good vantage point to oversee both the gathering and now the arriving Inquisition's Council. Cassandra looked quite happy, probably the happiest as far as Ellena could judge and behind her slowly followed Leliana who carried a very large and very old looking sword half wrapped in a white cloth. To her right walked now very thoughtfully looking Hawke and the small group was closed by Lady Montyliet and Bethany at the back.

"The Inquisition requires a leader. The one who has already been leading and has proven many times her reliability in politics and battles alike." Cassandra's voice suddenly pierced the thick silence which hung around the courtyard and she stepped forward with Hawke following her. "You." The Seeker turned towards the Champion of Kirkwall with a burning gaze of her eyes and slightly bowed her head in recognition.

"You were there when this all started in Kirkwall. You have helped to shape the fate of all Thedas and we turn to you in our hour of need to ask you for leadership." Cassandra continued her speech and meanwhile Ellena could hear growing murmurs from the crowd below. But murmurs and whispers of excitement rather than discontent. At least that much was clear. "Will you accept?"

"Corypheus will never let us live in peace. We have seen this before and we can see this now. He intends to be a God and he must be stopped. But I cannot do this alone." Hawke suddenly beckoned with her hand towards the group at the steps and someone nudged Ellena slightly forward. She stumbled a bit before she looked around confused but saw reassuring smiles from her friends and the crowd below as well as Hawke's outstretched hand towards her.

"This woman has been given the Mark to give us all hope and a fighting chance. She has been chosen by Andraste herself to help us in our direst need." Hawke continued her speech but at the same time made sure that Ellena now stood next to her and gave her a small nod of encouragement. "She stood up against many dangers and ensured that the skies which have been torn apart are now whole again. I am asking you all, will you follow the Inquisition?"

The last words were shouted loudly across the whole courtyard and the crowd below erupted in a loud mass of cheers and cries for battle. The only person present who did not share the collective joy was Leliana who stood as if hit by lightning, her hand still grasping the enormous sword, her knuckles turning white.

"Inquisition will you follow? Will you fight?" Cullen's voice suddenly rose above the loud cheering and Ellena could see the bright flash of his unsheathed sword as he gloriously lifted it towards the skies the crowd behind him exploding in cries of agreement. "Your leader and your Herald, the Inquisitors!"

Ellena let out a small gasp of surprise as the whole situation dawned on her but it was too late. Cassandra took the sword from Leliana and offered it to Hawke who wrapped her fingers over the elf's small hand and with a surprising strength rose their both arms to the skies with the gleaming sword pointing upwards and reflecting a sudden ray of golden evening sun. And Ellena's whole world drowned in a cacophony of cheers and joyous cries all around them.


	16. Chapter 15

The evening at Skyhold seemed to have come quicker today as the thick and lead colored clouds rolled over the mountain tops and devoured the last of the sunlight. Calpernia sat in her small study, courtesy of the Inquisition and the local mages, and pondered about her next steps. So far it seemed that her new choice of allies had turned out for the best. People here were certainly different than the kind she had come to know previously in her life. They treated everyone with certain degree of respect, even people like her.

A sudden roar of thunder interrupted her musings and she looked out of the window only to spot several soldiers who were hastily moving across the ramparts and into the safety of the adjoined towers. Only a few unfortunate souls doomed to suffer through their guard duty hours were present at their posts, stoically accepting the sudden downpour which broke loose from the blackened skies above. Calpernia watched the buzz of the courtyard for a moment longer before her eyes found a man who was quickly shouting something at the others and the glowing halo of his fair hair safely identified him as Commander Cullen.

The tevinter mage slowly shifted in her seat and leaned closer to the window to better observe the man below. He intrigued her to some degree. A former templar and now the commander of the Inquisition forces has had a sort of oddly reassuring presence around him. He seemed fair to his men and inspired respect in most of the inhabitants of Skyhold and Calpernia noticed how others seemed to look up to him, she had seen how he rallied the troops during the announcement of the Inquisitors.

As it often happened her line of thought jumped from the subject to subject and so now she caught herself thinking about the two women who were chosen to gather and lead the forces against her former ally, Corypheus. She knew about the Champion of Kirkwall. After all who didn't. Mariann Hawke was a logical and a very good choice when it came to the matter of who would stand up against such a treat as the former tevinter magister posed. What was still a mystery though was the role the second Inquisitor was supposed to play.

Ellena bore the Mark but in Calpernia's eyes that was where her usefulness ended. She knew well how people treated elves and not to mention an elf who was without a doubt a slave from Tevinter. It was so obvious the first time she saw her, chained to the spot and left as a sort of sacrifice for Corypheus to snuff out of existence. But still she could recognize a growing confidence in that young woman. It was probably that spark of defiance which made Calpernia act. Not many slaves were able to stand up for themselves. Once a person was broken and left to believe they were property of someone else there seemed to have a been a certain degree of a mute acceptance.

Calpernia sighed and stood up. She needed a word with the Commander. If she was to secure a safe position for herself within the ranks of the Inquisition she needed to prove that she was to be trusted and so far there was a topic which no one here seemed to have addressed before and which might as well win her some favors. After all one would have to be stupid to not notice that the spymaster who so willingly wanted to sacrifice Ellena to the enemy was still around and in business. And Calpernia could see a double play when it so readily unfolded right under her nose.

She quickly reached for her cloak and straightened up her clothes, first impressions were important and Calpernia was not a fool who would seek an audience with the Commander and look less than very presentable. She checked her hair in the small mirror which hung on the wall next to the window and corrected a few loose strands back into their place. Satisfied she nodded at her reflection. She could not really see too much difference from her days with Corypheus, apart maybe that the dark circles under her eyes were now less visible, most likely due to the fact that she could sleep soundly again and the few nights of good rest did wonders. Yes it did seem like her choice in switching her allegiance was a good one.

It took her around ten minutes of persuading the man in charge of her movements around the keep of the importance of her meeting. Dorian Pavus was another example of just how varied and open minded the Inquisition could be. Not many other organizations in Ferelden would willingly accept a help from a man who was a son of one of the magisters who had helped to sway all the rebellious mages ring under Corypheus' grasp. Yet here he was, questioning her at first but when she agreed to let him in on the secret of her information for Cullen, the altus from Minrathous only nodded, wished her luck and waved her off lazily with one hand, promptly returning to his seat at the alcove of the library and to his books.

Luckily Calpernia did not have to explain her reasoning or motives to anyone else on her way to the tower which the Commander chose as his post of command. The rotunda where the elven apostate Solas usually spent his free time painting or reading was all empty now and the large hall only hosted two or three fereldens who sat in a darkened corners near the fireplaces and enjoyed a drink while their eyes reflected the orange flames and they all seemed lost in thought. Calphernia quickly made her way out of the large gate and down the stairs which led to the courtyard. The rain made all the stones look almost black and sleek and the fact that otherwise busy place was now eerily empty made Calpernia feel slightly uneasy. Finally she almost ran up the stairs which led to the ramparts and hid herself under the roof overhang of the large tower. _Well now was the time to see if she could turn this information in her advantage._

* * *

"It was really Hawke's idea you know?" Bethany laughed slightly as she drew Ellena farther into her room and seated the still stunned and perhaps a slightly overwhelmed woman onto one of the chairs near the large window. "Come now, it is not that bad." She offered a reassuring smile and placed one hand on Ellena's shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.

Well those words were easily said but of course things would not be easy. As much as the idea of having two Inquisitors seemed appealing to the masses and perhaps even a reasonable choice Bethany could not entirely convince herself that Ellena was up for the task. During their lives in Kirkwall Bethany and Hawke have both encountered slaves before. Some of them in the houses of the nobles the others when they found themselves caught up between the Guards and local slavers. And the younger Hawke sister could still remember their dealings with the freed slaves. None of them knew with any certainty how to act or what to do with their freedom. And here they were trying not only to have Ellena deal with the freedom but also a heavy responsibility which her new position would entail. But of course Bethany could acknowledge the reasoning behind all this. She had the mark and needed to be put forth in order to inspire people and utilize the power which has been so miraculously bestowed upon her.

"I...I still don't understand." Ellena's voice brought Bethany from her musings and she finally sat down and smiled at the elf.

"Understand?" Bethany tried to prompt her new friend into voicing her thoughts and concerns it would be easier if she could hear what was on Ellena's mind.

Meanwhile the elf opposite her let out a soft sigh and nervously folded her hands into her lap before she took a deep breath and spoke again. "I mean I have a hard time to understand my place in all this. Since this all started..." Ellena paused and looked down at her left hand where as Bethany presumed the mark was still present albeit hidden at the moment.

"Did you speak with anyone about this?" Bethany smiled reassuringly and to make the whole situation seem a bit more comfortable pushed a small bowl of caramel marbles which she had brought from Kirkwall towards Ellena.

"No. I did not think it would be fitting. You see back home I knew what my duties were and how to act. Here? Nothing makes much sense." Ellena let out a small sigh and leaned forward to rest her elbows on the edge of the table and then hid her face in her palms. "And I don't know what to do about Cullen either." She half whispered from between her fingers.

 _Cullen?_ Now that was new and Bethany leaned forward eagerly. The matter with the Inquisition might be beyond her help and she knew it on the other hand if Ellena had some unresolved feeling for the former templar that was something which could be easily helped with.

"So...what exactly do you mean Ellena?" Bethany resumed a bit more neutral expression and leaned back in her chair in order to not scare the elf, it was enough she already looked like a lost puppy.

Instead of any answer there was a long silence which filled the room and hung between the two women slightly uncomfortably. In the end Ellena drew a deep breath and lightly lowered her hands from her face and rested them on the table. Bethany could see a new expression on the small face of her companion. Where before were only doubts she could see a growing determination which slowly reflected from Ellena's eyes.

"Bethany...is..is it alright if I call you that?" Ellena finally broke the silence and clutched her hands into small fists.

"Of course. I know I have been here for only a short while, but we are friends right?" The younger Hawke sister smiled with a nod and kept her eyes strained on Ellena, her curiosity growing. This seemed a bit more serious than a regular crush the elf might have had for her commander.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me. Since I lost my sisters I never really had anyone to talk to, well I mean privately that is." Ellena smiled back warily but continued in a steady tone of a voice. "What I am not certain about is my status. People here act as if I was one of them but that is something I was not taught and I am not sure how to act back. Am I free while I am with the Inquisition or am I only Leliana's property and things will be as they used to once I return home?"

Now that was certainly not a question Bethany expected. For once she had no idea how Leliana fit into any of this. She only met the Chantry Sister and the Left Hand of the Divine briefly. The best she could remember where the times when the Orleasian was telling her various stories back in Lothering. Why would she be now Ellena's owner? There was something here which needed investigation and it needed it soon.

"Hmm a good question." Bethany stalled for time while she tried her best to look like she knew what was going on. "What is most important in all this Ellena is if you wish to go back home." She said finally after giving it a little bit more thought. In the end she will pick the issue up according to how Ellena feels about her future. That seemed as the best choice for now.

Bethany could see that her words have had some impact on the young elf before her. Ellena clenched and unclenched her hands before she nodded with a deep determination set in her features. "No, I don't think I wish to go back home. Not after I've had a chance to see how different life here can be." She replied finally and her answer made Bethany smile. Well that certainly was a step forward.

"Now then, why don't you tell me how Leliana is involved in all this?" The younger Hawke sister asked once again nudging the conversation towards the issue she wished to discuss further.

"She...she wrote to Lady Atorian, my former Master's wife." Ellena continued clearly now resolute in getting this talk over with once she started. "Lady Atorian wrote her that she is to be my temporal Master here and after the work for the Inquisition is done I am to return back home."

"And Leliana showed you this letter?" Bethany asked with a small frown which formed on her otherwise calm and neutral face. This was certainly interesting and also a little bit disturbing. Sister Nightingale have been known for her rather liberal views of the Chantry and the politics and as such her open action in a matter of slavery such as this was more than baffling.

"Yes she also advised me to stay away from Cullen, for the sake of my Master's reputation. I...I thought I could do that but when she left me for Corypheus to kill me..." Ellena paused as if she had suddenly said something she was not supposed to and looked up at Bethany with frightful eyes.

"What do you mean she left you for Corypheus to kill you?" The mage asked suddenly and stood up and slowly walked over to the elf to make sure she would say everything and not try to weasel out of it.

"I shouldn't have said so. The reputation..." Ellena clutched her hands together and only now did Bethany noticed the still visible bruises on her wrists.

"Ellena, forget the reputation for a moment." Bethany smiled lightly and lowered herself down on her knees to level herself with her friend. "This is not about some reputation this is about your life. I can assure you that you will not be forced to go back to your home or Tevinter if you don't want to. You have my word."

"I...thank you, Bethany it means a lot." Ellena's face was lit up by the tiniest of the smiles as she drew in a deep breath and continued. "Very well. It was at the battle of Haven. Corypheus came there for me and Leliana agreed to this and chained me up for him to kill me. She said it was for the good of everyone else and that I should be proud of my service. I know that a good slave would have died there willingly but I just couldn't. I wanted to live. Then a woman who arrived with Corypheus helped me escape."

Bethany was left in a stunned silence for a moment as she went through all that she had just heard again. This seemed almost impossible. Leliana to sacrifice someone to the enemy? Just like that? It made no sense. But before she could say anything else in the matter a door creaked behind them and both women turned to look at the entrance. There stood Commander Cullen with the same confused expression which Bethany was sure reflected on her own face. He looked from her to Ellena then back and then took a few steps inside the room.

"Is this true?" He asked finally his question directed at the both women rather than anyone specifically.

Bethany looked over at Ellena who sat with eyes wide open in what looked like surprise mixed with fear and so she decided to step in.

"I have no reason to not believe her Cullen." She replied and drew one hand protectively over the elf's shoulders. But instead of any more questions or words at all the Commander of the Inquisition quickly walked forward and in four steps stood before Ellena and then before anyone had any chance to say something, drew her tightly into an embrace of his arms.

"I am so sorry Ellena. I will make this right you have my word." Bethany could hear him half whisper into Ellena's ear who slowly recovered from the shock of her situation and returned the embrace with a soft sigh. And Bethany was sure in that moment that those two have longed for such embrace for a very long time.

* * *

 **AN:** I am sorry for the delay. Lots of stuff happening and I had to write this mostly on phone. I do appologize for any typos I tried to proof read as much as I could on the small screen.


End file.
